Vegetarian Chili

Simple,Hearty Vegetarian Chili

Simple,Hearty Vegetarian Chili

Yes, you read that correctly. Quit sitting there open mouthed looking like I just kicked a puppy. There is actually *gasps and sits here open mouthed looking like someone just kicked a puppy* a healthy recipe on my blog. A vegetarian one no less! I told you lovely people that as I began posting more, I would begin trying to make some of the recipes  healthy *shudders*, maybe even vegetarian.

My son Zachary was recently trying the “Daniel Fast”. This is a fast many Christians use at the beginning of each year. It’s based on the experiences of Daniel, a prophet from the Old Testament of the Bible. It’s a very strict vegan diet that I myself couldn’t handle for more than say, five minutes. I give props to my boy for attempting it. This fast makes vegen-ism look fun, that’s how strict it is 😛 I did my best to help him during his fast by making some dishes that he could enjoy while the rest of us kept on with our normal eating habits. Which, btw, there is nothing so guilt inducing to a mother as having dessert when ones child is on a strict fast, lol.

One of the things I made for him that he liked was this vegetarian chili. Not a speck of meat in this *sobs quietly*. If one wanted to make a nice hearty veggie chili WITH meat, it wouldn’t take much to brown some up and add it into this. But you didn’t hear me say that and I’ll deny it to the death if asked. *gnaws on a bone as I speak*

Seriously though, this is pretty yummy. It’s a very hearty, filling chili, wonderful with cornbread. This is great for Meatless Monday, if you do that, wonderful for a game day if you have people who prefer to watch the meat intake or just because you love it’s flavor and feel like making it, no reasons needed.

You know the drill…. 🙂

Mrs. Cupcake, who is suddenly craving a steak

Vegetarian Chili

  • 4 zucchini, chopped into bite sized chunks
  • 2 medium onions, chopped (about 2 cups)
  • 1 cup chopped green pepper
  • 1 cup chopped red pepper
  • 1/2 cup chopped celery
  • 1 jalapeno pepper, finely minced (or 1 1/2 teaspoons from a jar of  chopped jalapenos)
  • 4 garlic cloves, finely minced
  • 1/4 cup oil
  • 1 28 ounce can Italian stewed tomatoes, cut up
  • 1 28 ounce can whole tomatoes, cut up
  • 1 15 ounce can seasoned pinto beans, undrained (obviously no meat flavor in them if you’re trying to keep this vegetarian)
  • 1 15 ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 15 ounce can chili beans, undrained (we like the hot style; use what you prefer)
  • 1/4 cup chili powder
  • 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar (optional)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • cilantro, cheese (vegetarian non dairy cheese if preferred) and green onions for garnish
  1. In a large pot or dutch oven, stirring often, saute the onions, all the peppers, the celery and the garlic in the oil until soft and limp, about 5 to 7 minutes.
  2. Stir in the rest of the ingredients, except of course for the garnish ingredients.
  3. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Taste for seasoning, adjust what’s needed (salt, a touch more sugar, some hot sauce if it’s not spicy enough for your crowd), then turn the heat down to low and let simmer for about 30 minutes (time enough to get some cornbread made!), stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. If you want a thicker chili, just let this simmer longer.
  4. Serve with garnishes and a lovely slice of cornbread or some crackers. Whether you add a hamburger on the side is entirely up to you. 😀

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Spicy Two Meat Slow Cooker Chili (And A Giveaway!)

Spicy Two Meat Slow Cooker Chili

Spicy Two Meat Slow Cooker Chili

We’re well into the school year and I don’t know about you, but it seems like half the time, I’m so busy with chauffeuring here and there, plus doctors appointments for physicals and vaccinations, etc, etc, that I end up saying “it’s snack night!” to my kids when they ask whats for dinner. Then I feel guilty because what happens is they eat cereal (they’re thrilled with that; me, not so much) for dinner and everyone ends up spread out chowing down on foods that I normally prefer not be served. One will be in his room, eating sandwiches. Two will be parked in front of the TV, watching Uncle Grandpa (Lord, I loathe that show) while my husband and I will be sitting in front of our computers. NOT exactly a family friendly eating experience and NOT how I want my kids childhoods to be. My husband working third shift exacerbates the problem because half the time, after getting the kids to school, I’ll come back and lay down with him and before I know it, half the day is gone and no dinner prep was made.

So what do I do more often now? Yep; you guessed it. The trusty slow cooker comes out. I own about 5 of them. The problem is, most of them are either too small or too limited on their usages (high or low, that’s it for settings) , so I let them sit and gather dust. So when I was contacted again as a Hamilton Beach Ambassador and asked if I wanted to try out their Set ‘n Forget® 6 Qt. Programmable Slow Cooker With Spoon/Lid I was thrilled. Finally, I would have a slow cooker that I didn’t have to babysit.

This cooker is pretty awesome. You can either manually set it for how many hours you want the food to cook and set for high or low. Then once it has timed out, it automatically clicks over to warm. That way the food doesn’t overcook or get too cold to serve. Another option is, if you’re cooking, say, a roast or a whole chicken or maybe a turkey breast, you can use the included temperature probe. You insert it through a hole in the top of the lid right down into the meat, set the cooker for the temp you want the meat to come to and when it reaches that temp, it shuts off. Again, no overcooked dry chicken breast meat or stringy pork roasts because you forgot them.

I can honestly say I love this slow cooker. Yes, they sent me one for free, but my opinion is still honest. So much so that I’ll mention the ONE thing I didn’t like about it. The outside tends to get really hot, so you need to make sure this isn’t in reach of little ones.But other than that, I love it and have used it multiple times already.

Guess what else? Hamilton Beach has graciously offered to let me give one of these slow cookers to one of you. This is a $59.99 value and it’s just in time for colder weather (or as a great Christmas gift to someone, maybe?)  Plus, as the holidays get closer, we’re all going to be busier and you know darn well that having dinner on the table every night can be a hassle. So this is the perfect time to win this.

All you need to do is enter down below by commenting and using the optional methods in the rafflecopter box. Tell me what would be the first thing you’d make if you won this and there is one entry!

If you need an idea, I have a fantastic chili recipe for you. This is spicy, but not so spicy the kiddos can’t eat it. My six year old loved it. It uses chorizo sausage as well as the typical ground beef and some other ingredients that all add up to a warming, comforting, soothing bowl of chili. Serve this with some sides of fresh onions, cheese, sour cream and maybe crackers or tortillas and you’ve got a wonderful meal as well as some leftovers for lunch or dinner tomorrow. You know the drill… 🙂

Spicy Two Meat Slow Cooker Chili




  • 2 lbs ground chuck
  • 1 lb chorizo (removed from casings and crumbled if link style)
  • 2 cups chopped onion
  • 1 1/2 cups chopped green pepper
  • 3/4 cup chopped celery
  • 1 14 to 16 ounce can of chili beans (your preference on heat)
  • 2 16 ounce cans kidney beans, well drained
  • 1 16 ounce can pinto beans, well drained
  • 1 16 ounce can diced tomatoes (regular or chili style; your choice. I prefer the chili style)
  • 2 whole jalapenos in adobo sauce, finely chopped (store the rest in a container in the fridge) (use more or less as desired)
  • 1 4 ounce can chopped green chiles
  • 1/4 cup hot sauce (I use franks because I like that is has flavor along with the heat)
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 1/2 to 2 ounces chili powder (I use Bloemers)
  • 1 tablespoon salt
  1. In a large pan, crumble and saute the ground chuck until brown. Drain and toss into the slow cooker. Brown the chorizo. Don’t drain this when done; just scoop it out and put it in the slow cooker.
  2.  Toss the onions, green pepper and celery into the drippings form the chorizo. Stir to mix, cover and cook over medium heat until the onions and celery are soft and limp, about 5 to 7 minutes. Stir once or twice during the cooking.
  3. Add the veggies to the crock pot; stir to combine.
  4. Add all the other ingredients, in order given (makes stirring easier), then stir to combine.
  5. Set your slow cooker for 4 hours on low.. Halfway through cooking, open it up (make sure you’re quick; slow cookers lose heat quickly and can take quite a while to reheat back up) and give it a good stir. Re-cover it and let it finish cooking.
  6. When done, stir it well and serve. This is excellent served with sides such as cheese, sour cream, green or red onions and cilantro. I also love mine wrapped up in a tortilla. My family, on the other hand are firmly in the cracker camp. Do what makes you happy. 😀
     Copyright Notice: From Cupcakes To Caviar images and original content are copyright protected. Please do not publish these materials anywhere without prior permission.

I was provided with a slow cooker as compensation, but all opinions in this post are 100% my own!

To enter the giveaway, just scroll down to the raffle copter giveaway form!

Hamilton Beach Set & Forget® 6 Qt. Programmable Slow Cooker With Spoon/Lid

Hamilton Beach Set & Forget® 6 Qt. Programmable Slow Cooker With Spoon/Lid


Product Features



    • Three (3) choices for easy, automatic cooking: program, probe and manual


  • Probe mode is perfect for cooking large cuts of meat or for recipes that require food to reach a certain temperature
  • Thermometer probe reads the actual temperature of food as it cooks; the temperature is displayed on the slow cooker control panel
  • Travel-friendly design secures contents en route to parties, potlucks, family gatherings and tailgating
  • The lid securely seals in place with sturdy wire clips on each handle
  • 6 quart removable stoneware crock fits a 6 lb. chicken or a 4 lb. roast
  • Wraparound, even heat cooks food evenly and consistently
  • Full-grip handles make carrying heavy meals easier
  • Power interrupt protection keeps slow cooker on during a brief power outage
  • Questions are supported by a toll-free call center located in the U.S.
  • Backed with a one-year warranty


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Spicy Pork And Pineapple Chili

Spicy Pork & Pineapple Chili

Spicy Pork & Pineapple Chili

Don’t even say it. I KNOW it’s May and I’m making chili. But c’mon. Are you going to tell me that from the beginning of May until the first frost, you never make a chili or anything resembling it? Ha! That’s what I thought!

I had a butt ton of pork stew meat that had been in my freezer since approximately the year 1575 and I needed to use it up. But although I’ve got a fairly large amount of pork recipes, I wanted something different. I searched for about 956 hours (not that this post is having any tendency towards exaggeration or anything) and found nothing that excited me. Well, other than some shirtless pics of Matthew Mcconaughey. But that’s neither here nor there.

So I went into our garage for inspiration. I can see the confused looks from here. My husband and I are of the survivalist ilk. Not big time… we have no concrete bunker or 800 semi automatic weapons. but we DO tend to keep a good food supply. it’s been quite helpful during hard financial times….. or when I have 4 pounds of pork stew meat to use up. I scouted around, found some ingredients that said “Hey! Janet! I’d go great in a pork chili!” I tend to listen when food talks to me.

I was really pleased with how this turned out. It is filled with tender meat, sweet chunks of pineapple, all in a spicy sweet sauce. We served this over rice just because that’s how I roll (did I ever mention my sad rice addiction?) but you could have it plain, like any normal chili. This is so amazingly full of flavor… one bite a little bit sweet, one bite with a bit of heat that kind of hits you in the back of the throat, one bite nice and meaty. All in all, this is a top notch chili, if I do say so myself and I will be making it again.

You know the drill…

Spicy Pork And Pineapple Chili

  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 large onion, chopped (about 1 1/2 cups)
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 1 large green pepper, chopped (about 1 cup)
  • 2 stalks celery, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
  • 1 jalapeno, finely diced
  • 12 ounces chorizo, casing removed
  • 2 pounds pork stew meat ( or pork loin {NOT tenderloin}, cubed
  • 1 28 ounce can of green enchilada sauce
  • 12 ounce jar of salsa (I used a pineapple salsa I got at Trader Joes)
  • 1 15 ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 15 ounce can chickpeas (Garbanzos), drained and rinsed
  • 3 tablespoons sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 tablespoon salt
  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • Garnish-
  • sliced green onions
  • grilled pineapple slices (I used my grill pan on the stove)
  • cilantro


  1. Pour the oil into a large pot. Add the onion, garlic, green pepper, celery and jalapeno. Cook over low heat until they are limp and tender. Remove from pot to a bowl and set aside.
  2. Crumble the chorizo into the same pot. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until it is cooked through and browned. Spoon out into the same bowl as the veggies and set aside. Leave the oil from the chorizo in the pot
  3. Working batches, brown all of the cubed pork in the remaining oil from the chorizo, removing each batch to the bowl as it gets browned. You may need to drizzle a little vegetable oil in there after the first batch.
  4. After all the pork is browned, dump the bowl with the pork, chorizo and veggies back into the pot. Stir well to combine.
  5. Add the enchilada sauce, the jar of salsa, the can of pineapple chunks, the sugar. the cinnamon and the salt to the pot. Stir well. Cover and cook over low heat for about an hour or until the meat is tender.
  6. Add the drained beans; stir well and leave the cover off of the pot. Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, for another 30 minutes or until reduced to desired thickness.
  7. Add in the balsamic vinegar; stir well.
  8. Taste for seasoning (salt, more balsamic, a bit more sugar, etc)
  9. Serve plain or over rice. Garnish as desired

Copyright Notice: From Cupcakes To Caviar images and original content are copyright protected. Please do not publish these materials anywhere without prior permission.


Pork And Black Bean Chili

Pork And Black Bean Chili

Some of you who may have seen how tickled I was a few weeks ago when I realized that Andrew Zimmern started following me on Twitter. Fine, tickled may be an understatement. I about peed myself. The only thing that prevented that was the fact that my other pair of clean jeans was the washer. Mind you, he follows about 24 thousand other people too but considering that over half a million follow HIM, that still made me about one in 20 or so whom he follows back. That means we’re bff’s right? Yes, I realize that maybe it was an underling who followed me or that Mr. Zimmern said one day “Hey, underling, go find some really really bad food blog and follow it. I need something to make me laugh.” The underling then found me, followed for him, then got promptly fired when he realized that Mr. Zimmern didn’t mean to follow one quite THIS bad.

But in the spirit of hope, I prefer to believe that somehow, my wit and pithy sense of humor (oh God, I’m killing myself here *snorts and laughs*) brought me to his attention one night when he’d had too much to drink and he decided I was a cool person to keep up with. So, in that spirit, I am writing him a short letter here.

Dear Mr. Zimmern-

Can I call you Andrew? How about Andy? Ooo, ooo, I know! I can call you Ang just like Barney Fife called Andy Griffith. It’s what bff’s do, right? Come up with nicknames? So maybe now you can call me “Cool J”. *Does the “Cool J” gangsta finger thing* Owowowowowowwwww… finger cramp.

No, no, no, it’s ok Ang, I’m cool. Cancel the plane flight. Just a minor *sobs* finger cramp. So, how’s it going? I almost asked “how;’s it hangin'” but then thought that maybe a female bff shouldn’t ask that of a male bff. Wait… does typing it out anyway mean I still asked it anyway? Crap. Sorry.

I can’t help but wonder how you came to follow me on twitter and probably come to my blog a few times a day hoping for updates.? Was it the fancy cooking? Maybe the Blueberry Cornmeal pancakes? Or the video of the Monty Python intro!? I know! It was my world class photography! I feel like I need to make some cockroach ( my play on words here??Huh huh huh?) testicles to make sure I keep you happy. But I didn’t have that on the menu until next month. It takes a while to stockpile enough of those bad boys to make a meal. Plus, if you don’t wrap them in something bright, the bag is too small to find in the freezer.

But whatever the reason, I just wanted to let you know how pleased I am that we will now be lifelong buddies. I’ve always admired you, love your show(s) and recipes and had always thought that you were the kind of guy I’d love to invite over (and Mrs. Ang of course) for a beer and some roach testicles. But in the meantime, I made one of your recipes today. It got a unanimous thumbs up even though I accidentally used too much chipotle pepper and none of us have any taste buds left.

Sincerely- your twitter bff- ~Janet~
Now if I could only get Eric Ripert and Anthony Bourdain to follow me, I’d be in Heaven. Yes, I know Mr. Bourdain can be an ass, but he can’t stand Sandra Lee or Rachael Ray… so how bad can he really be? We think alike 😀

(P.S.- On a serious note, I was truly totally tickled by Mr. Zimmern following me.)



Pork & Black Bean Chili

  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 2 slices bacon, chopped (I may have “accidentally” used about 6)
  • 2 pounds pork shoulder, cubed (I used a 3 pound loin because it’s what I had plus I feed teenagers)
  • salt and pepper
  • 2 poblano chiles, stemmed, seeded and diced
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 4 chipotle chiles in adobo, minced (make sure to NOT twitch & add about twice that unless you hate your taste buds)
  • 8 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1/3 cup ancho chile powder
  • 3 tablespoons cumin (I used about half this; not a huge cumin fan)
  • 1 tablespoon oregano
  • 1/4 cup minced cilantro
  • 1 28 ounce can whole tomatoes (I chopped them up. It wasn’t in the original instructions but I couldn’t leave them whole)
  • 1 lb dried black beans, soaked overnight
  • 5 cups chicken stock (or good quality canned broth)
  • 3 cups dark beer (I used Becks)
  • 3 tablespoons corn flour
  • 3 tablespoons water
  • zest of one lime & juice of half a lime (my own addition)
  • 2 tablespoons light brown sugar (also my addition)
  1. In a large non stick pot, heat the oil until shimmering.
  2. Add the bacon and cook until the fat has rendered out. Using a slotted spoon, put the bacon aside for now. Eat the 90 extra pieces you accidentally tossed in the pot.
  3. Season the pork to taste with salt and pepper.
  4. Add it in batches (you want to sear the meat, not steam it in it’s own juices and grease) to the pot and cook until browned, about 7 minutes. Set aside as you get it browned. Add the poblanos, onions, chipotles and garlic to the pot and cook over medium heat until the onion has softened.
  5. Add the chile powder, cumin, oregano and cilantro and cook until fragrant, about one minute. Add the tomatoes, beans, chicken stock, beer, brown sugar and bacon and bring to a boil.
  6. Cover, reduce heat and simmer until the beans are just tender, about 90 minutes. Uncover and continue to simmer until the beans are totally cooked, about another 45 minutes.
  7. In a small bowl, whisk together the corn flour (please don’t sub regular flour. You can get the corn flour in the Hispanic aisle of the grocery and it adds a flavor regular flour won’t) and the water. Slowly whisk the mixture into the chili. Add the lime juice and zest, season with salt and pepper and serve with sides of tortillas, cheese, onions, whatever you love with chili. Just  stay away from the leftover chipotles… trust me.

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Chili Today Hot Tamale

Lamb Chili. It's not baaaaaaddddd (hehe. I slay me)

C’mon, you know that old joke. You MUST know that old joke. You’re five years old (well, not now but think back that far which for some of you wasn’t long ago and for others (like me) was so far back that you recall riding on the backs of dinosaurs) and you go up to someone and ask them what the weather is like. They say “I don’t know; what’s the weather like?” You then reply, with all the wit your five year old sense of humor can muster, “It’s chili today and hot tamale!!!”. You then proceed to roll on the floor laughing so hard that you wet yourself and get put in the corner for an hour. Ok, so maybe that last part was just me. But it was funny darn it!!! Funny I say!!! Totally pee worthy.

Moving on 😛 I know some of you (though very few at this point) are still enjoying cool, if not actually cold, weather. And even if you’re not, if you’re anything like me, you agree with the idea that you do NOT have to save chili for Fall and Winter. I said that same thing when I put together
This Chili Recipe Here which is actually my all time favorite non beef chili. Go ahead; check it out. I’ll be here when you get back.

You back now? Didn’t that one look yummy?! It is; trust me. But the one I’m posting now could easily vie with it for first place on favorite non beef chili. This uses lamb, which I love enough that when I saw this recipe online (for the life of me, I’m not sure where I found it and the paper I have it on doesn’t have a web site listed and there are 9 gazillion variations of this so I’m not sure which I changed used.) I knew I had to try it. I’m one of those people that when I am eating a specific meat (or sweet for that matter) THAT’S my favorite. Roast chicken? Favorite. Replace it with roast duck? Favorite. Put a steak in front of me? Favorite. Lamb? Yep… favorite. You get my point. This chili is now my favorite! 😛 Continue reading

You Can So Eat Chili In The Summer!!!

Cause I said so! So there!!! Pffffttttt.

Mind you, I am sitting here eating Jays Brand Cheese Wheels.

Because as  yummy as my white chicken chili is, I have a reputation as a poor eater to keep going here. That takes a lot of work! You have no idea how I sacrifice for all of you just so that I can be the one sane port in your busy lives, the one place you can go to where the personality behind the words stays the same. I eat Twinkies (and Ho-Hos) Cheetos (and Tostitos with home made Peach salsa that I magically suck any nutrition out of before eating it). I chow down on chocolate by the pound and sigh heavily in martyred frustration as I do so. I also drink pop and strong caffeinated beverages. And I do this for YOU gentle reader… YOU. Can you FEEL the sacrificial vibes coming to you? Can you… wait, scuse me; gotta wipe the orange goop off the keyboard. Ok, I’m back. Where was I? Oh yeah; vibes. Yeah yeah yeah, vibes, sacrifice, Twinkies, noble kind soul that you adore… well, maybe I didn’t say that last part but I know you were thinking it so I went ahead and inserted it in there. 😛

If, by the way, you have never had Jays Products… I’m sorry. You can get some of them online but alas, not the cheese waffles. This is actually the first time I’VE had them in many years and why a Kroger store in Kentucky was suddenly stocking them, I don’t know. But I bought a bag anyway and am currently gorging on them like a six year old given a bag of chocolate covered sugar bombs (Oh Calvin you are my hero) and a spoon. Jays is a Chicago based company that seriously makes the best potato chips ever and I’m not just saying that because I am a native Chicagoan. Snyders Of Hanover has bought them now so I have no idea if the products have changed at all but I know the cheese waffles are still yummy.  Their sour cream and onion potato chips are stupendous and I even love their BBQ chips and I don’t even like BBQ chips. Hmmm, thinking of it, the fact that Snyders bought them may very well BE why I am seeing them here. Oh also, if you’ve ever had and loved Krunchers potato chips, they are made by Jays.  They also make the most awesomeest  cheese popcorn too. If you see Oko-E-Doke popcorn, grab them all! If by some strange chance you don’t like them, sell them for millions to people living outside their native area. It’s like popcorn crack. Better yet, just mail them all to me.

Oh well, for those of you who aren’t currently experiencing the chance to have a sore tongue (boy that sounds wrong) from eating too many rough textured and overly salty cheese wheels, I made White Chicken Chili for today’s post. And no it is NOT too hot for chili. Just crank up the A/C and start shivering. Then have some nice hot chili and a cup of tea. You’ll thank me. Just don’t forget to turn the A/C back down before bed so you don’t freeze to the sheets during the night when you drool on the pillow. Oh don’t lie! You do SO drool on the pillows!

This chili uses…GASP… a convenience product or two. I did NOT grow. dry and then soak my own beans. That’s why they make canned beans (though I DO soak my own when I make red beans and rice). Also, this uses a package of McCormicks White Chili Seasoning along with the other things you’ll put in it. It cracks me up when people get upset over packaged mixes like these. Hello?! Did you grow that bottle of Chipotle peppers yourself? The Cumin? The Chile Peppers? All the beans? If so, awesome, more power to you and may I please know what type of speed you use to get through a normal day? If not, then shush darn it, shush. Just make the chili. The mix is simply a pre-blended mix of spices one would use ANYWAY. And this is a particularly wonderful version of chili. it’s creamy and tangy and spicy and *wipes non cheese wheel caused drool* filled with chunks of chicken. It makes a big batch so feel free to cut it in half.

Creamy White Chicken Chili

  • 2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized cubes (I have also used a mix of breasts and boneless skinless thighs to good reviews)
  • 1 pound of either andouille sausage, sliced thin or 1 pound Cajun flavored smoked sausage ( I have used both at various times. Either ones is tasty.)
  • 2 medium onions (about 2 to 2 1/2 cups), chopped
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • 1 tablespoon oil
  • 4 cans great northern beans, drained well
  • 3 cans chicken broth
  • 2 teaspoons oregano
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon ground chipotle pepper (optional)
  • 1 package McCormick White Chicken Chili mix
  • 3 4 ounce cans chopped mild green chilies
  • 1 cup heavy cream (you can sub fat free half and half if you absolutely MUST 😛 )
  • 1 cup sour cream (same with the sour cream; you can sub fat free and if you DO make these changes, it decreases the fat and calories substantially since the rest of the chili is quite good for you)
  • green onions, cheese and whatever else you usually garnish/serve chili with 😀
  1. In a large heavy bottomed sauce pot, saute the chicken, onions and garlic in the oil until the chicken is no longer pink. Add the rest of the ingredients EXCEPT for the sour cream and heavy cream.
  2. Bring to a boil, then lower heat to a simmer. Cook uncovered for 1 hour stirring frequently to prevent sticking. Remove from heat and stir in the sour cream and heavy cream. This is a thin soup like chili so don’t expect a thick one. If you want thicker, use one less can chicken broth. But if so, make sure you watch it carefully as it cooks so the liquid doesn’t cook down too much.
  3. Ladle into bowls and garnish with sliced green onions and Colby Jack cheese.

His & Her Housecleaning & White Trash Dip

I am being so NOT politically correct today. Long humor post that will probably offend some men out there and a recipe whose name will probably offend others. But if you read my blog regularly, you know that for me political incorrectness and “anything for a laugh” are my trademarks :-D. On that note, remember that I lurves you all 😛

His And Her Housecleaning-
As you read this keep three words in mind please; TONGUE IN CHEEK!!!

How to clean the kitchen…her way.

Start at the top because it makes no sense to clean upwards…everyone knows that. Clean the shelves where you store things and dust and windex all the little knick knacks until they are glittering enough to make an ADHD person stop and say “oooo, shiny things!”

Clean the counters and other surfaces with a steaming hot soapy rag making sure to lift up things on the counter to get the nasties trying to hide under and behind them… germs…ugh!!

Get the Clorox wipes and re-wipe everything after thoroughly drying the counter…germs…UGH!

Look into the cabinets and see how the flour has spilled onto the shelves some. Take the flour out to wipe up the spill and then notice that other things look disorganized and think that there is no way you can cook in a kitchen like that. Take everything out of the one cabinet and straighten it out, again using the Clorox wipes. Get thoroughly grossed out when you find a piece of old stale bread that has somehow gotten shoved to the back of the cabinet. Gag a little as you throw it out.

Notice how nice that cabinet now looks in comparison to the others and with a happy OCD sigh start on the other cabinets, whistling as you alphabetize the spices and make sure all the cans are grouped by food category.

Clean out microwave using boiling water/vinegar method also making sure to move microwave to get anything trapped underneath.

Clean kitchen window, inside and out, cleaning any fingerprints and marks in the door also.

That done, get out mop bucket. Fill with water that is about half a degree away from boiling. Put in enough Pine-Sol and disinfectant to scare away any germs within a 45 mile radius. Mop floor…twice. Then get out floor wax and on hands and knees, cover every inch of the floor in a shiny coating making sure to wipe down baseboards as you work.

Open refrigerator with trepidation because you never know what new mess you will find in there. Take everything out, throwing out anything past it’s date or that looks as if it could be an experiment for Dr. Frankenstein (or is that franc-en-steen?). Clean off the shelves with diluted bleach water, again steaming hot. Sigh as you wonder why your kids have opened 3 different containers of mayo and 4 of the same type of jam. Put everything back in, making sure to put the oldest near the front in the vain hope that it will get used first.

Finally done, reward yourself with a cup of hot tea and something chocolate. Relax….for five minutes…until the kids enter the kitchen and ruin everything you just finished. Start over.

His way….assuming he doesn’t live with a woman.

Go into the kitchen to get a beer. Notice that to get to the refrigerator, you had to navigate past three full trash bags and a sticky floor stain that you are pretty sure is from when your bud Joe got sick last week after too many brews and nachos. Damn, you thought you had cleaned that. Lean down and inspect it a little closer and think to yourself that Joe really needs to chew his food better; that had to have hurt coming up.

Decide maybe you should do something about the kitchen. Women like a clean man so if you can brag about your spotless kitchen, you may have a better chance of getting laid by that chick at the office with the big knockers.

Search for 30 minutes for the cleaning supplies finally finding a dusty bottle of Windex, some rags and some Mr. Clean under the kitchen sink from the last time your mother cleaned up the apartment for you. Wonder where the hell all those pots and pans under your sink came from and what you’re supposed to do with them; doesn’t everyone order food in every night? Look at the picture of Mr. Clean and think he has nothing on your buff body. Do some poses for a few minutes in comparison then get to work.

Take the trash outside to the dumpster. Come back in breathing heavy and tell yourself you have to start going back to the gym. Get out a beer from the fridge, recoiling at the stench and sit down in front of ESPN Sportscenter for a few minutes… that was hard-ass work and you deserve a break.

Finish the beer and go back into the kitchen after taking a leak and doing some more Mr. Clean poses in front of the bathroom mirror.

Get the rags and the Windex and spray about half a bottle on the counter figuring more is better. Sop it up with the rags not bothering to move any of the crap on the counter; you’ll toss that crap in a new trash bag when you’re done with the smelly spray stuff. Sneeze a few times cause of the ammonia smell and wipe your hands on your jeans after looking at the snot on your palm.

Take the now dripping smelly goop covered rags over to the microwave cause you figure nows the time to clean it too since the door has to be pulled with brute force just to get it open cause it’s sticky as all hell. Wipe the insides out with the rags laughing a little as you remember when you and the guys blew up one of those little plastic cans of beans in there a few months back cause you forgot to take the lid off. Clean up the beans still stuck to the inside top of the microwave and wonder if that’s what fell into your TV dinner a couple nights ago. Oh well, who cares? It tasted fine.

Figure that now that the rest of the kitchen looks so damn good, you should do the fridge and the floor. Damn, that girl at work is gonna fall all over you when you tell her what a housekeeping god you are!

Get one of those pots from under the sink…least they’re good for something anyway and fill it partway with cold water and then dump the rest of the Windex in there. Go get the mop from your deck where you were using it as a field hockey stick one night about a year ago to try to make beer cans fly over to the dumpster.

Dunk the mop into the pot and slop it all over the floor. Work on the puke stain for a bit. When it doesn’t come up, figure at least it looks like clean throw up now and leave it. You’re getting tired; you can always buy one of those girly rugs to cover the spot. That’ll just add to your housekeeping/decorating god status.

Finish the floor. Use the mop to have an imaginary sword fight with someone, flinging filthy water all over the counters you “cleaned”.

Open the fridge and recoil from the stench again. Find some Chinese take out from last week and sit down and have a bite to eat, scooping away the crusty parts. Set the container on the counter when you are done and toss the plastic fork in the sink.

Go back to the still open refrigerator. Take out a…a…a… something green and hard and smell it. Realize it isn’t the source of the smell and toss it in the garbage scoring two points for the free throw. Dig around a little, moving the mayo jar with no lid, the 12 take out containers, 4 McDonalds bags, 36 beers and that tofu your last girlfriend left there in ’05 to the side.

Finally, near the back, you find a slimy dripping piece of what you think used to be KFC. Smell it, realize you have found the source of the smell and start to throw it out. Change your mind with an evil grin thinking you will hold on to it until this weekend when Joe comes over to watch the game. Figure you’ll let him have a few brews then offer him a snack… this should be classic! Wrap it up in foil so at least it won’t reek anymore. Wipe your now windexed, beaned and slimed hands on your jeans. Look around the kitchen and feel proud of yourself and mentally leer at the cleavage of “office girl” as you imagine her nude on your kitchen counter. Get another beer, leave the kitchen and go watch TV. Repeat in six months.

White Trash Dip

  • 1 15 ounce can of your favorite chili
  • 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened
  • 2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
  • 1 lb bacon, cooked and crumbled
  • 4 green onions
  • 1 teaspoon ground chipotle pepper for garnish
  • Tostito Artisan Fire Roasted Chipotle Tortilla Chips or Tostito Artisan Black bean and Garlic Tortilla Chips
  1. Heat oven to 350.
  2. Mix all but the chipotle pepper together in a large bowl.
  3. Spoon into a 2 quart baking dish and cook at 350 until golden and bubbly, about 20 minutes.
  4. Sprinkle with the chipotle pepper.
  5. Serve with chips and/or thinly sliced baguette (add a little French flair to your white trash 😛 )