White Trash Dip (Recipe Re-Do)

White Trash Dip

White Trash Dip

Lovely name, ehh? But since when did I ever try to convince you that I was classy, prim and proper? You love me like I am, right? Low class, strange, and always doing my best (such as that may be) to give you a giggle.

The first time I made this dip was not long after I started the blog. Lately, I’ve been getting quite a few people coming to it and while that makes me happy, it has, yet again, one of those photos that makes me cringe, cry copious tears of embarrassment, and

want to gouge my eyeballs out so that I don’t have to see it again. Yes, it’s that bad. I love the post I made to go with it because it’s one of my funnier ones (has cuss words; you’re forewarned) but I know that the photo makes baby kitten throw themselves off cliffs. So, it was time to remake this one. Partly because I’ve changed it a little over the years and partly, well, that photo *cries more*

This is one of the worlds easiest dips to make. Why is it called white trash, you ask? Because it’s fairly cheap to make and uses canned chili 😀 and because this is so not something you’d serve at a classy party with champagne and caviar. This is more beer, chips and family and friends you love gathered together. Perfect for a game or for family movie night, for a Christmas buffet, what have you.

This is creamy, meaty, a little bit spicy (easy to adjust), cheesy, great for digging into when you have the munchies.

You know the drill…. 🙂

White Trash Dip

  • 1 15 ounce can of your favorite chili
  • 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened
  • 2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
  • 2 teaspoons finely minced jalapeno (omit if you use the typically spicy chorizo, unless you really like the bite) plus extra for garnish
  • 1 lb chorizo sausage, cooked and crumbled (you can also use bacon, which is how I originally posted it)
  • 4 green onions, plus extra for garnish
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 2 quart serving dish (I used  a souffle dish). Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl, then scoop into the serving dish. Smooth top.
  2. Bake at 350 until browned on top and bubbly, about 15 to 20 minutes. Garnish with green onions and jalapeno. Serve hot.
White Trash Dip

White Trash Dip

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Creamy Homemade Boursin Cheese Spread

Creamy Homemade Boursin Cheese Spread

Creamy Homemade Boursin Cheese Spread

I am a Thanksgiving appetizer junkie.  By the time I finish cooking the actual meal, I am so filled up on appetizers that I have no interest in dinner. Of course, the taste testing I just HAVE to do *innocent smile* as I cook doesn’t help either. Mind you, none of this stops me from loading up a full plate just in case. I then eat three bites, cover the plate and become a total turkey pig a few hours later.

But nothing matches appetizers for me. I love small bites, love being able to pick and choose from nibbles of fun finger foods. One thing I particularly love is cheese. Combine that with what all of you know is one of my downfalls, something creamy, and I become a total glutton. Many years ago, I saw a recipe somewhere or another for Boursin cheese and just had to give it a try. The rest is history. Now I make it each Thanksgiving and Christmas. The original recipe has changed much over the years and I don’t even make it as per the recipe anymore.

This cheese is so darn good! If you love creamy spreads, you’ll love it. It goes great on crackers, veggies, and one way I love to use it to stuff chicken or pork chops with it. I’m a total peasant myself; this cheese spread and some Ritz crackers and I’m in heaven. Add in a glass of wine and yeah, baby, I’m good! 😀

This goes together so quickly you’ll think you missed a step. The most time consuming part; all of three minutes or so, is finely chopping the green onions and the garlic. Such a workout. :-p Then just put it into a pretty serving bowl, set out crackers and others dippers and watch your family and guests go crazy for it. You’re welcome. 😀

You know the drill….. <3

 Creamy Homemade Boursin Cheese Spread

  • 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese, room temp
  • 1/2 cup (one stick) unsalted butter, room temp
  • 1/4 cup good quality Parmesan Cheese (not the grated stuff you sprinkle on spaghetti)
  • 3 tablespoons finely minced green onion (about 1.5 green onions should do it)
  • 2 to 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon dill weed
  • 1 teaspoon Fine Herbes
  • 1/2 teaspoon dry basil
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt (do NOT use more without taste testing. This is a simple mixture and easy to over salt)
  1.  In a medium bowl, combine the butter and cream cheese. Beat well on medium speed until creamy and fluffy. Scrape bowl once, and beat for another minute or so.
  2. Add in all the rest of the ingredients. Beat well to combine. Give it a small taste test for salt and seasoning. Keep in mind the saltiness of any dippers you may use before adding more salt to the cheese.
  3. Spoon into a serving bowl; smooth top. Serve immediately or refrigerate until about half an hour before serving time.

Copyright Notice: From Cupcakes To Caviar images and original content are copyright protected. Please do not publish these materials anywhere without prior permission.

Creamy Homemade Boursin Cheese Spread

Creamy Homemade Boursin Cheese Spread


Roasted Garlic Hummus (and the first giveaway of 2015!)


This is my last giveaway for 2014 as a Hamilton Beach Ambassador. I’ve had a blast promoting their products this past year! And obviously, I’ve enjoyed getting to own and use some wonderful kitchen appliances, as well as offering them to all of you to enjoy. Today, I’m reviewing and giving away a Hamilton Beach Stack and Snapâ„¢ 10 Cup Food Processor. So far, I’m loving this food processor. It took me a minute to get used to, because it has some differences from the typical one, including my old Hamilton beach processor, but once I figured it out (tip- don’t be like me. Do this weird thing called read the manual that comes with it 😛 ). With this new model, you have to snap the lid into place and you can’t start it unless you have. It also has a feature where you can’t use it with the chute open. You have to put what you want through the chute, then put the thingamajigger (I know… I use too many technical terms) back on. You also can’t, as with most types, pull the blade out when the container is off of the base. You have to have the base on and then snap out the blade. This comes in handy if you’re like me, with a habit of upending the container to empty it and having the blade come out and catch you in the hand. Yay for less 5 inch deep gashes on the hands! The theme the lovely people from Hamilton beach wanted us to follow with this appliance is making something for the holidays. I racked my brain and had thought of Christmas cookies… then 900 other thoughts, but I like waiting to do my posts as an ambassador until after every one else has done theirs (that way Hamilton Beach has people paying attention to them for more than just a couple of highly condensed weeks.), so Christmas ideas were out. So I decided to make a New Years Eve appetizer. Heaven knows that many people need to have some nibbles around to offset the amounts of booze they drink, lol. And I wanted to do something with a good amount of protein for the same reason. So where did I finally settle….? On a delicious Roasted Garlic Hummus. This stuff is sooooo good and this processor helped me create it so easily! if you are convinced you don’t like hummus, I am willing to bet that you haven’t tried it homemade. The flavor is infinitely better, infinitely fresher and this is one of the easiest appetizers (or dinners, if you’re like me at all) you can make. Make this for a party, set out some nice warm pita wedges of pita chips (I also love it with pretzel chips) and you have an immediate hit. This is one that goes fast because all people have to do is dip and eat. No mess, no fuss. I could eat hummus until it was coming out of my ears. It’s nutritious, but it’s so wonderfully creamy that you’d never know it. And you can vary the flavors in it so easily. Make this tonight for whatever get together you’re hosting or going to and then make more when you need a quick and easy game day snack. So when you run to the store today to pick up some more beer or wine, grab the following items too. You’ll love this hummus. Oh yeah… before you leave, make sure you enter to win one of these Hamilton Beach Stack and Snapâ„¢ 10 Cup Food Processor for yourself. I know you’ll love it and find a gazillion uses for it! The giveaway is at the  bottom of the page!

Roasted Garlic Hummus

  • 2 15 ounce cans chickpeas, well drained (also known as Garbanzo Beans)
  • 1 head roasted garlic, cloves taken out and lightly smashed (plus more for garnish. Whatever you don’t use can be stored in the fridge)
  • 2 tablespoons Tahini (Sesame seed paste)
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 1/4 cup warm water
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice (more if needed after you give this a taste test)
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
  • 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon salt (use the lower amount first, taste after processing, then add the extra 1/4 teaspoon if needed)




  1. Dump the chickpeas into the bowl of your food processor. Add all the other ingredients on top. DSCF4664


  •  Process until smooth, about 1 minute. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and process again. taste for salt and lemon; add more if needed and process for another 10 seconds or so.  Spoon into a serving bowl.DSCF46663. Add some extra roasted garlic on top for garnish.



            4.Serve with warm pita wedges, celery or carrot sticks, or pretzels.      

Hamilton Beach

Stack & Snapâ„¢ 10 Cup Food Processor-


Product Features
Parts & Accessories
Use and Care Guides



    • Easy stack & snap assembly






  • Unique, patent-pending design requires no difficult twisting & locking


  • Simple function guide shows you which blade to use & which button to press



  • Big Mouth® feed tube reduces pre-cutting



  • Sealed bowl prevents leaks



  • Powerful 450 watt motor



  • Reversible slice/shred disk



  • Chopping S-blade locks into bowl and stays put during pouring



  • Dishwasher safe blades, bowl, and lid



  • Cord storage



  • The easiest food processor assembly ever Gone are the days of complicated positioning and twisting the bowl and lid into place. With the Hamilton Beach® Stack & Snapâ„¢ Food Processor, the bowl is specially designed to fit directly on the base (with no twisting required) and the lid snaps securely to the bowl with simple locking clips for safe operation. No more guessing whether it’s put together correctly, just “stack” and “snap” the parts into place! The kitchen helper you’ll use for every meal Mix up a quick pancake batter. Chop onions without the tears. Puree a bowl of nutritious soup. Slice cucumbers evenly for a perfect salad. Chill, then shred or grate your favorite cheese for a variety of dishes. Large feed chute means less prep work Are you still pre-cutting all your ingredients? If you’re doing that, why bother with a food processor at all? The Hamilton Beach® Stack & Snapâ„¢ 10 Cup Food Processor accommodates both large and small ingredients, so you can spend less time pre-cutting your ingredients and more time enjoying them. Unique bowl features Many food processors come with a maximum liquid fill line, so if you are preparing soup you need to process multiple batches. The sealed bowl holds up to 10 cups of liquid, which reduces the need for multiple batches when processing soups or other liquids. Another great feature is the S-blade stays locked in the bowl when pouring, so you don’t need to pick the blade out of the processor or worry that it might fall out when you are pouring. A simple snap secures the lid on to the bowl, with no twisting and locking needed. Includes everything you need This powerful food processor comes with a 10 cup bowl, which is the ideal size for most of your home cooking needs. It also includes a reversible slice/shred disc and S-blade for chopping, mixing and pureeing. Cord storage in the back keeps things tidy when not in use. Easy to use Disc attachments are reversible and labeled, which takes the guesswork out of processing. The label should face up for the desired function. When using disc attachment, do not process foods past the MAX LEVEL indicator on the bowl. Many processing options Between the S-blade and the reversible slicing/shredding disc, you have many choices available. Use the S-blade for chopping nuts, meat, garlic, onions, peppers, celery, herbs, bread (for crumbs), and crackers. Also, use it to mince/puree vegetables and fruits, mix salad dressings, puree soups or sauces, and to grate cheese. Use the slicing disc (slicing side facing UP) to slice cucumbers, apples, mushrooms, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, tomatoes, pepperoni, peppers, radishes, firm cheeses. Use the shredding disc (shredding side facing UP) to shred cabbage, potatoes, carrots, and cheese.



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Hamilton Beach provided me with a  Hamilton Beach Stack & Snap™ 10 Cup Food Processor for review and giveaway, but my opinions are 100% my own.

Key Lime Pie Dip

Key Lime Pie Dip

Key Lime Pie Dip

I say yet again…. weird, weird weather. May in Kentucky and it’s in the mid 50’s and we had to turn the heat on last night! Some of our area got frost and it attacked my Basil the other night and killed off the tips of all the leaves. I am pretty sure we can give up on the idea of fruit from our trees AGAIN this year due to the weather. Le Sigh.

But I will (she says yet again) NOT give up on warm weather cooking and eating. I have always said that I was a person who didn’t cook according to the season, that if I wanted pumpkin in July, I was having pumpkin in July and enjoying it. And while this is true, I am coming to realize that even I, much as I hate to be normal :-p, do tend to cook according to the seasons. Maybe it’s genetically hardwired in us to do that, since we were all hunter-gatherers at one time. We have the luxury of doing what we want cooking wise, because we were blessed to be born into bodies living in developed countries, but there is still something that makes us want to use that fresh stuff while it’s there.

Ok, enough waxing philosophical. Let’s get to the food.

I have a thing for limes. I absolutely HATE fake lime flavor, such as that found in candy, but I love the flavor and scent of real lime. When I use it, I’m convinced it’s my favorite citrus. But then again, I do the same when I use lemons or oranges hehe.

This dip is awesome. My husband, who has some sort of sensory issue with creamy foods, couldn’t stop eating it. He totally loved it. I did also of course…. it’s lime, it’s rich, it’s creamy and I’m me; need I say more? 😀 The kids loved it too, so this was a hit all around. This is simple to make. Just beat, beat more, spoon into a serving bowl and there ya go. You can serve this with whatever dippers you want; I used vanilla wafers, graham crackers and sliced up marshmallows. Let it sit out at room temp for a bit to soften. It’s fine cold but harder to scoop up.

You know the drill…. 🙂


Side Note! Don’t forget to go to the post preceding this one (GIVEAWAY) and enter my giveaway! You could win a 6 Speed Hamilton Beach Stand Mixer AND a 6 Speed Hamilton Beach Hand Mixer! Just for entering. I don’t have a bazillion entries so your chances are actually pretty good of winning!

Key Lime Pie Dip

  • 8 ounces cream cheese, room temp
  • 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temp
  • zest of 5 key limes (or 2 regular; about 2 tablespoons zest)
  • 2 tablespoons key lime juice (or 3 tablespoons regular lime juice)
  • 1/2 teaspoon lime oil (optional, but adds a nice zing)
  • 1/2 teaspoon lemon lime kool-aid (again; optional, but it adds the cute green color and a good amount of tang and c’mon, it costs 20 cents at wal mart :-p )
  • 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup graham cracker crumbs


  1. In a medium bowl, combine the cream cheese and butter. Beat at medium speed until it is smooth and creamy.
  2. Add in the zest, juice, lime oil and kool aid. Beat well.
  3. Add the powdered sugar and beat at low speed until mixture is fluffy.
  4. Spoon into a serving bowl. Top with the graham cracker crumbs. Chill for about 45 minutes minimum. It can be chilled longer, but make sure you let it sit out for 30 minutes or so just to soften a little bit.
  5. Serve with dippers of choice.

Copyright Notice: From Cupcakes To Caviar images and original content are copyright protected. Please do not publish these materials anywhere without prior permission



Caramel Apple Toffee Dip

Caramel Apple Toffee Dip

Caramel Apple Toffee Dip

My family has a serious apple addiction. We are equal opportunity fruit lovers but apples always seem to be eaten the most by the guys in the house. Well, except for my husband for whom fruit means Blueberry flavored coffee, though I CAN get him to eat some if it’s cooked or covered in homemade caramel :-P. We’re working on the line between good for you and dessert with him. But the rest of us love it. As I age, I unfortunately have to cut my apples up before I eat them because aging teeth and jaws don’t do whole ones well lol. I look like a mouse trying to eat an elephant whole  Excuse me while I go get my walker and take some Geritol, you young whippersnappers!

Which brings this dip into play. There are variations of  this all over the web. I won’t claim to be the first nor will I claim that the changes I made make this into an entirely new dip and oh my gosh, I’m unique! Lol. That wasn’t the point. I saw it, I thought it sounded yummy and figured some of you would like it too. I DID make some changes, one of which was to add some Kahlua to this, making it a perfect treat for an adult Halloween party or a fruit tray some other time of the year (Christmas buffet maybe?). But you can easily omit the booze and make this kid friendly. Just pour the small amount of Kahlua into a cup and drink it yourself. 😀 See how I make your day better? I also added some caramel bits to it to make this even more of an Autumnal treat. The toffee chips and the caramel combine so well with the apple slices. The original recipe called for cream cheese but 1) I adore Mascarpone and 2) I had some I needed to use up, but feel free to sub cream cheese in this. This is good when it’s first made but it’s even better when the flavors have time to meld and the toffee chips get softer. YUMMY! Also, this isn’t just good with apples. Try some on a cinnamon bagel or one of the limited edition (out right now) Pumpkin Spice Bagels. Oh, my gosh, it’s good. It kind of melts right into it and…*swoons*

You know the drill… git to cooking! Or erhmmmm, mixing in this case.

Caramel Apple Toffee Dip

  • 8 ounces mascarpone or cream cheese, room temp
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • a scant 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 tablespoons Kahlua (optional)
  • 3/4 cup toffee bits (in the baking aisle near the chocolate chips)
  • 1/2 cup Kraft Caramel Bits
  • sliced apples for dipping (dip them in a lemon juice/water mix to prevent browning)
  1. In a medium bowl, combine the mascarpone (or cream cheese), both kinds of sugar, the vanilla and the Kahlua if using. Beat well, until smooth and creamy.
  2. Fold in the toffee bit and the caramel bits.
  3. Sprinkle top with more toffee bits and caramel.
  4. Serve with the apples for dipping or just sit down in front of the TV with a spoon and the bowl. I won’t tell. But I’m also not buying you any new fat girl pants. Just sayin’.

Copyright Notice: From Cupcakes To Caviar images and original content are copyright protected. Please do not publish these materials anywhere without prior permission.





Once Upon A Time… (Homemade Caramel Sauce)

Home Made Caramel Sauce (Easier than you think. Honest!)

…I thought candy that came in a bag was the be all and end all of yumminess. I thought that Hershey bars were divine,  Lemon Heads were the best dessert ever (ok, I still love lemon heads. I admit it) and Kraft Caramels were the tastiest thing since…since…since…I dunno what, but I loved them. Mind you, don’t get me wrong. I still think there is a time and a place for all of those things. Hershey Bars are a wonderful late night “I’m reading a book and lazing in bed; leave me alone” treat, Lemon heads are…well…awesome any time of day or night and Kraft Caramels, while I no longer eat them plain, are good in a handful of dessert applications and great for give away on Halloween.

Then as I got more into cooking as I aged, I found a caramel sauce recipe that was simple and to the point. It was brown sugar, butter and cream. it was good and I used it for years.

That said however, there came a time when I wanted to expand my cooking knowledge and I got brave enough to try to make homemade caramels and caramel sauce (I was desperate for a caramel sundae) . I have never looked back since that day. And for those of you thinking “I could never make REAL caramel” I say only this. Yes. You can. If you have an IQ higher than that of the average eggplant (thus excluding my neighbor from this endeavor) and aren’t totally careless when it comes to cooking (you DO need to pay attention or you could end up very badly burned), you can make it. Don’t let “OMG, it’s cooked sugar and I’ve heard it can kill you if it touches you, it’s so hot!” scare you. I repeat…it’s not hard. I’m even going to include a few pictures so you can see what it should look like (approximately) at certain points in the cooking process.

So come on. Go get out a sturdy pot, some water, sugar, butter, vanilla and some heavy cream. That’s it. That’s all you need. No thermometer. No haz-mat suit. No extra fire insurance. Another reason you need to make this beyond it’s wonderful to eat straight off of the spoon? Because we will be using this later in some pretty darn awesome recipes. So shoo… go, young grasshopper and get sugar.

This makes 2 pint jars of sauce. Go ahead and make the full batch. I promise you; it will get used. And it will keep stored in the fridge for about 3 months.

Home Made Caramel Sauce

  • 2 cups water
  • 3 tablespoons corn syrup
  • 4 cups sugar
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  1. Pour the water and corn syrup into a large heavy bottomed pot. Yeah, that one you use to boil pasta in will do. When the cream is added to this, it is going to bubble furiously. You need a LARGE pot. I can not stress that enough.
  2. Pour the sugar into the middle of the pan, trying not to let it touch the sides any more than necessary.  Don’t stir it. No really. Don’t.
  3. Heat on medium high until the sugar has dissolved then turn the heat to high. You’re going to cook the sugar water mixture until it turns a wonderful shade of golden brown. It will take somewhere around 25 to 30 minutes. Also, it smells like toasting marshmallows as it cooks. Pretty yummy smelling lol.

    Sugar/water at 16 minutes cook time

  4. Again, as this cooks, don’t stir. It can cause sugar crystals to form/get into the mixture and leave you with a grainy end product.
  5. Meanwhile, while this cooks, combine your cream, vanilla and butter in a large measuring cup or spouted bowl.
  6. Heat in the microwave until it is hot but not boiling (the butter should be leaving a nice film on top but shouldn’t be fully melted). Set on the counter within reach of the pot.

    sugar/water at 23 minutes. Almost ready to add cream

  7. When mixture is golden brown, whisk in the cream mixture. It is going to bubble and sputter and scare the crap out of you. Even after having done this many times, it still makes my heart race when I add the cream cause of the reaction of the cream in the sugar. Just continue to slowly pour and whisk (if you have someone who can pour while you whisk, even better.

    Caramel sauce after the cream has been added. This is bubbling like it wants to escape the pot 😛

  8. Boil for about 2 minutes more. It will seem thin, but will thicken up appreciably when cold. Don’t keep cooking or you will end up with caramels, not caramel sauce. Not that this is a bad thing. If by chance you do (you’ll know if you go to get some out of the fridge and it’s solid instead of just very thick) you have 2 choices. You can just heat it every time you need to use it or you can heat it once, pour it into a heavily buttered 9 inch square pan, let it become about half firm in the fridge, cut it, then finish cooling it. Then you have some completely delicious caramels that you can eat as is, dip in chocolate, whatever.
  9. Let mixture come to room temp in the pan, then pour into jars and store in the fridge. I use pint canning jars.
  10. This is amazing on vanilla ice cream, in yogurt, over berries, in recipes calling for store caramel sauce or just off a spoon as a treat. Try it once; see how easy this is. You will never buy that unnamed brand of caramel sauce again.

    Really; it was an accident that so much got left in the pot. But then I couldn’t waste it now could I?




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Dip Because I’m A Dip



Hard to take a decent picture of dip. I mean, it's DIP... 😛

When I was a kid, people who were ditzy were called dips or dippy. I have no idea if that was a regional thing or just that the people I knew were strange. Please don’t answer that. But suffice it to say that I fell squarely into the dippy category.

Thus the title of this post. I mean, this dip has chicken, cheese, bacon and green onions in it too but titling this “Dip for the chicken” or “dip for the bacon” just didn’t make much sense to me. I can be a bit chicken at times (like when eating liver is involved) but I am not related to pork products in any way. Hmmm, I’ve been known to be piggy. As for cheese, we all know I can be cheesy but “Dip for the cheese” just sounds stupid.

Fine, I admit it!! I couldn’t think of a good post title and this is all just a coverup to make it sound planned! It was “Dip-Gate”! A vast right wing conspiracy!! Erhmmmm, sorry, I think I was channeling Hilary Clinton. *Shudders* Now THERE’S a frightening thought.

Sigh. I really need to get out more.

Moving on.

Still have a couple of big holidays coming up. You may have heard of them. And they tend to be big eating holidays too. Not like Columbus Day… or Groundhog Day. Personally, I don’t go overboard on yummy foods for those two.

In my family, it has become a tradition to have our big meal on Christmas Eve. It has also become a tradition that the meal is mainly appetizers and finger foods. Mind you, with my kids and hubby that still means enough food to feed a small country but still… appetizers.

One of the things we all enjoy is dips. Not so much the ubiquitous kinds like cold french onion dip with chips (I save that for maybe a twice a year craving and TV) but more substantial ones. Preferably with meat. Lots of meat. Or cheese. Lots of cheese. Or even better, with both.

You’ve all probably heard of Buffalo Chicken Dip by now, even if you haven’t tried it. Hot cheesy dip that is SUPPOSED to taste like buffalo wings. Too often however, tasty as it is, it bears no resemblance to wings. With that in mind, I had no qualms keeping the same basic idea and taking it even farther down the path away from “Wingdom”. Ha!! You thought I was going to say that I had created one that tasted exactly like a scoopable buffalo wing. Admit it… you did, you did you did..

Oh heck no. As much as I love wings, I kinda like that the dips aren’t perfectly like them. But being me, as usual, I couldn’t leave well enough alone. So try MY version of Buffalo Chicken Dip. Hot, gooey, cheesy, chickeny (yes, that is now a word) bacony (hey; spell check didn’t say anything. I guess bacony really IS a word!), oniony (damn; not a word. Stoopid spell check.) and oh so yummy with tostitos or celery (if you’re feeling strangely healthful which is a waste of time with this dip) or off of your fingers. You may want to let it cool before you try that last one though. Just sayin’. I will not be held liable for burned fingertips :-p

Newly Revised Deluxe Version Of Buffalo Chicken Dip

  • 2 10 ounce cans chicken, well drained
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  • 1/2 cup ranch dressing or blue cheese dressing
  • 1/2 to 3/4 (if you’re brave) cup hot sauce (I use Franks Red Hot)
  • 1 3 ounce package bacon bits (yes, you could make your own bacon but this is meant to be easy, not work)
  • 3 cups cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 cup blue cheese (I’d put more if I could but no one else in the family likes blue cheese, the boogerheads)
  • 3 green onions, thinly sliced
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a medium bowl, beat together the cream cheese, hot sauce and dressing.
  3. Stir in the chicken, breaking up any large chunks (but don’t mush the crap out of it; leave some pieces), the bacon, the green onions and 2 cups of the cheddar cheese.
  4. Spoon into a lightly greased 2 quart baking dish or 9 inch pie plate.
  5. Top with the rest of the cheddar cheese, the blue cheese (and some extra green onions if you want)
  6. Bake at 350 until lightly browned around the edges and bubbly, about 20 minutes.
  7. Serve with veggies of tostitos or fingertips.

Cranberry Fun, Part two (Pithiest Title I Can Think Of Right Now)

Nothing to put with this to make it decorative *sobs*

November 22nd and it is 59 degrees out right now. What’s wrong with this picture? I know I live in Kentucky and all but even for here this is weird. I want cold weather, mannnnnn!!! Snow!! Avalanches! Blizzards! The need to use my wood stove and make a blazing “omg, this makes the pyromaniac in me happy” sort of fire.

But noooo, it’s 59 degrees and it’s supposed to get up to 67 today and 60ish on Thanksgiving. Mind you, it doesn’t seem that warm because it is also raining the proverbial cats and dogs and very dreary and depressing outside. At times actually, I am pretty sure it was raining Mastodons and Hippos it was coming down so hard. My driveway is totally flooded out. One of the joys of country living I guess hehe. Maybe I can conserve water and go out in my front yard nakkie butt, shampoo in hand and take my shower. Nahhhhh, the neighbors would be traumatized. Heck, I’D be traumatized. I close my eyes when looking at myself in the mirror. Makes it a bit hard to see what I’m doing, but I figure it’s safer for my mental and emotional health.

I. Need. Caffeine. Now.

Seven in the morning comes too darn early. Someone needs to pass a law saying that seven am can’t get here until say, noon. Better yet, that we are not allowed to do ANYTHING but sleep until noon and society as a whole doesn’t function until then. Who wants to go petition congress with me?!

In case it’s not obvious, I’m not in top form today 😛 Two nights of a whiny toddler and about 5 hours sleep between the two nights is taking a toll. My wit, such as it is, has taken a vacation. It’s in Bali right now… enjoying a warm breeze and a tropical drink ogling the shirtless men. I mean… um, darlin, if you’re reading this, it’s turning away from the shirtless men in abject horror that they would dare show me their naked rippling abs. Honest!

Hmm, might be time to move on now to the recipe for today.

I’m still in cranberry mode here and will be for one (maybe two) more recipe(s) after this. I mentioned yesterday my love for the cranberry sauce part of Thanksgiving dinner & that  carries over into other forms of cranberry adoration. The following is one of my favorites.

Have you ever had cranberry mustard? Maybe you bought some from the store and thought it was ok. If you’re like me, you did, thought it was decent but kind of…boring. Little too sweet but ok. Years back, that was me. I had tried I believe it was the cranberry mustard from Hickory Farms. It was ok. I liked it on turkey sandwiches but that was really all it was good for. The texture was rather thick and gelatinous. So when I ran across a recipe on Epicurious years back for home made cranberry mustard, I knew I had to try it. I am SO glad I did! This mustard is fantastic. Sweet with a definite cranberry flavor and DEFINITE mustard bite. This mustard has cojones! It is amazing on sandwiches made from leftover turkey, it is great as a pretzel dip, it’s pretty darn good just to stick your fingers into… not that I do that of course. Just know that YOU might want to.

This takes a little watching; it’s rather like making a fruit curd in how it’s done. Eggs, double boiler, yada yada yada. But it’s still easy so long as you don’t go walking away because even though the recipe says to stir (only) occasionally, if you don’t stir often…pretty much nonstop, it sticks. It UN sticks easily and I may just be paranoid but I just have never wanted to take the chance of it burning and going to waste.

If you like fruity mustards or have just wanted to try them, MAKE THIS! Set it out in a pretty bowl when you make Thanksgiving dinner. This is very rustic and hearty looking because it has whole mustard seeds and bits of cranberry in it. If you wanted it smoother, I don’t think pureeing it in the food processor after cooking it would be a problem, but I’ve always liked it as is. Have this with pretty much any meat, pretzels, as a glaze… so many ways.

Home Made Slightly Spicy Cranberry Mustard

  • 1 cup (3 ounces) dry mustard powder
  • 2 tablespoons whole mustard seeds
  • 1 cup raspberry vinegar (this recipe is why I had leftover raspberry vinegar to use in yesterdays cranberry sauce)
  • 1 cup fresh cranberries
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (I have subbed bottled before and it’s fine)
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon pepper (I have actually never used the pepper)
  1. Mix dry mustard and mustard seeds in a bowl. Whisk in the raspberry vinegar. Cover and let mixture sit overnight. I have let it sit only about 4 hours when I’ve been in a hurry & it works fine. You just need to give the mustard seeds time to soften up is all.
  2. Blend cranberries in a food processor until finely chopped.
  3. Whisk sugar and eggs in a medium metal bowl to blend.
  4. Whisk in mustard mixture, cranberries, lemon juice, honey and salt (and pepper if using).
  5. Set bowl over a pot of simmering water and cook until thick and temperature is 180 degrees, about 45 minutes (at least according to the original recipe. It’s never taken longer than 20 to 23 minutes or so when I’ve done it.)
  6. Cool mustard to room temp. Cover and chill at least one day to allow flavors to blend. If you taste it fresh, it’s going to taste good but VERY intense. The resting time mellows it quite nicely.

His & Her Housecleaning & White Trash Dip

I am being so NOT politically correct today. Long humor post that will probably offend some men out there and a recipe whose name will probably offend others. But if you read my blog regularly, you know that for me political incorrectness and “anything for a laugh” are my trademarks :-D. On that note, remember that I lurves you all 😛

His And Her Housecleaning-
As you read this keep three words in mind please; TONGUE IN CHEEK!!!

How to clean the kitchen…her way.

Start at the top because it makes no sense to clean upwards…everyone knows that. Clean the shelves where you store things and dust and windex all the little knick knacks until they are glittering enough to make an ADHD person stop and say “oooo, shiny things!”

Clean the counters and other surfaces with a steaming hot soapy rag making sure to lift up things on the counter to get the nasties trying to hide under and behind them… germs…ugh!!

Get the Clorox wipes and re-wipe everything after thoroughly drying the counter…germs…UGH!

Look into the cabinets and see how the flour has spilled onto the shelves some. Take the flour out to wipe up the spill and then notice that other things look disorganized and think that there is no way you can cook in a kitchen like that. Take everything out of the one cabinet and straighten it out, again using the Clorox wipes. Get thoroughly grossed out when you find a piece of old stale bread that has somehow gotten shoved to the back of the cabinet. Gag a little as you throw it out.

Notice how nice that cabinet now looks in comparison to the others and with a happy OCD sigh start on the other cabinets, whistling as you alphabetize the spices and make sure all the cans are grouped by food category.

Clean out microwave using boiling water/vinegar method also making sure to move microwave to get anything trapped underneath.

Clean kitchen window, inside and out, cleaning any fingerprints and marks in the door also.

That done, get out mop bucket. Fill with water that is about half a degree away from boiling. Put in enough Pine-Sol and disinfectant to scare away any germs within a 45 mile radius. Mop floor…twice. Then get out floor wax and on hands and knees, cover every inch of the floor in a shiny coating making sure to wipe down baseboards as you work.

Open refrigerator with trepidation because you never know what new mess you will find in there. Take everything out, throwing out anything past it’s date or that looks as if it could be an experiment for Dr. Frankenstein (or is that franc-en-steen?). Clean off the shelves with diluted bleach water, again steaming hot. Sigh as you wonder why your kids have opened 3 different containers of mayo and 4 of the same type of jam. Put everything back in, making sure to put the oldest near the front in the vain hope that it will get used first.

Finally done, reward yourself with a cup of hot tea and something chocolate. Relax….for five minutes…until the kids enter the kitchen and ruin everything you just finished. Start over.

His way….assuming he doesn’t live with a woman.

Go into the kitchen to get a beer. Notice that to get to the refrigerator, you had to navigate past three full trash bags and a sticky floor stain that you are pretty sure is from when your bud Joe got sick last week after too many brews and nachos. Damn, you thought you had cleaned that. Lean down and inspect it a little closer and think to yourself that Joe really needs to chew his food better; that had to have hurt coming up.

Decide maybe you should do something about the kitchen. Women like a clean man so if you can brag about your spotless kitchen, you may have a better chance of getting laid by that chick at the office with the big knockers.

Search for 30 minutes for the cleaning supplies finally finding a dusty bottle of Windex, some rags and some Mr. Clean under the kitchen sink from the last time your mother cleaned up the apartment for you. Wonder where the hell all those pots and pans under your sink came from and what you’re supposed to do with them; doesn’t everyone order food in every night? Look at the picture of Mr. Clean and think he has nothing on your buff body. Do some poses for a few minutes in comparison then get to work.

Take the trash outside to the dumpster. Come back in breathing heavy and tell yourself you have to start going back to the gym. Get out a beer from the fridge, recoiling at the stench and sit down in front of ESPN Sportscenter for a few minutes… that was hard-ass work and you deserve a break.

Finish the beer and go back into the kitchen after taking a leak and doing some more Mr. Clean poses in front of the bathroom mirror.

Get the rags and the Windex and spray about half a bottle on the counter figuring more is better. Sop it up with the rags not bothering to move any of the crap on the counter; you’ll toss that crap in a new trash bag when you’re done with the smelly spray stuff. Sneeze a few times cause of the ammonia smell and wipe your hands on your jeans after looking at the snot on your palm.

Take the now dripping smelly goop covered rags over to the microwave cause you figure nows the time to clean it too since the door has to be pulled with brute force just to get it open cause it’s sticky as all hell. Wipe the insides out with the rags laughing a little as you remember when you and the guys blew up one of those little plastic cans of beans in there a few months back cause you forgot to take the lid off. Clean up the beans still stuck to the inside top of the microwave and wonder if that’s what fell into your TV dinner a couple nights ago. Oh well, who cares? It tasted fine.

Figure that now that the rest of the kitchen looks so damn good, you should do the fridge and the floor. Damn, that girl at work is gonna fall all over you when you tell her what a housekeeping god you are!

Get one of those pots from under the sink…least they’re good for something anyway and fill it partway with cold water and then dump the rest of the Windex in there. Go get the mop from your deck where you were using it as a field hockey stick one night about a year ago to try to make beer cans fly over to the dumpster.

Dunk the mop into the pot and slop it all over the floor. Work on the puke stain for a bit. When it doesn’t come up, figure at least it looks like clean throw up now and leave it. You’re getting tired; you can always buy one of those girly rugs to cover the spot. That’ll just add to your housekeeping/decorating god status.

Finish the floor. Use the mop to have an imaginary sword fight with someone, flinging filthy water all over the counters you “cleaned”.

Open the fridge and recoil from the stench again. Find some Chinese take out from last week and sit down and have a bite to eat, scooping away the crusty parts. Set the container on the counter when you are done and toss the plastic fork in the sink.

Go back to the still open refrigerator. Take out a…a…a… something green and hard and smell it. Realize it isn’t the source of the smell and toss it in the garbage scoring two points for the free throw. Dig around a little, moving the mayo jar with no lid, the 12 take out containers, 4 McDonalds bags, 36 beers and that tofu your last girlfriend left there in ’05 to the side.

Finally, near the back, you find a slimy dripping piece of what you think used to be KFC. Smell it, realize you have found the source of the smell and start to throw it out. Change your mind with an evil grin thinking you will hold on to it until this weekend when Joe comes over to watch the game. Figure you’ll let him have a few brews then offer him a snack… this should be classic! Wrap it up in foil so at least it won’t reek anymore. Wipe your now windexed, beaned and slimed hands on your jeans. Look around the kitchen and feel proud of yourself and mentally leer at the cleavage of “office girl” as you imagine her nude on your kitchen counter. Get another beer, leave the kitchen and go watch TV. Repeat in six months.

White Trash Dip

  • 1 15 ounce can of your favorite chili
  • 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened
  • 2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
  • 1 lb bacon, cooked and crumbled
  • 4 green onions
  • 1 teaspoon ground chipotle pepper for garnish
  • Tostito Artisan Fire Roasted Chipotle Tortilla Chips or Tostito Artisan Black bean and Garlic Tortilla Chips
  1. Heat oven to 350.
  2. Mix all but the chipotle pepper together in a large bowl.
  3. Spoon into a 2 quart baking dish and cook at 350 until golden and bubbly, about 20 minutes.
  4. Sprinkle with the chipotle pepper.
  5. Serve with chips and/or thinly sliced baguette (add a little French flair to your white trash 😛 )