Warning. This Is NOT Diet Food :-D

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Lemony White Chocolate Cheesecake

You’ve been warned. As a matter of fact, I warned you when I came back to the blog that yes, I would be sharing some lower calorie/lower fat dishes (preferably dessert hehe) but that I would still be…well… ME and would continue sharing the type of goodies that make you have to get your fat girl (or fat boy as the case may be… and while I’m thinking of it, how come it seemed ok to say “fat GIRL” instead of woman but I had to stay an urge to write “fat MAN”? What’s up with that backwards “I must have been born in 1825” sort of thinking?) pants and make you sob uncontrollably when you get on the scale. Why? Because I enjoy torturing you. Heck, who am I kidding. I’M the one who has most of a creamy delicious cheesecake taunting me here. I suppose just burying my face in it and inhaling would be strange huh?

I think we all know by now that I love anything lemon. I don’t care if typically, it’s considered a Summer food and all the cuter, prettier and more popular bloggers *grins* have moved on to all pumpkin/maple/apple/cinnamon/elephant/cranberry/squash/turkey recipes. I’m a rebel! A rebel I say! Or I was just in the mood for lemon. Whatever. But really; I like lemon. Lots. I like These Lemon Crumb Bars , I like This Lemon Curd. A LOT., I like These yummy cookies and I also absolutely LOVE cheesecake as shown here . So give me a chance to combine the two and I’m one happy woman (notice I said woman and not girl :-p ) It uses white chocolate which my friend Bel says isn’t really chocolate at all, but that’s ok; I love her anyway. She loves pumpkin as much as I do so she can’t be ALL bad. White chocolate not being a flavor that shouts itself from the rooftop, it adds more of a creaminess and vanilla flavor to this rather than a pronounced in your face chocolate flavor. But creamy is never a bad thing. I like creamy. And lemon. And white chocolate. So yup, I like this cheesecake. Too much. Please come take it from me before I have to go back to my fat girl pants. Better yet, make it yourself, have no self control, eat far too much and then tell me about it so I can feel better. Misery loves company and all that rot.

This originally comes from Taste Of Home. I didn’t change much at all. I gave it a graham cracker crust cause I was feeling lazy and I added a touch more lemon juice. Otherwise, all Taste Of Home here.

Lemony White Chocolate Cheesecake

  • CRUST-
  • 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/3 cup butter, melted
  • FILLING-
  • 4 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened (could use low fat, but I wouldn’t recommend fat free)
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar
  • 10 ounces white chocolate, melted and cooled (please don’t use “white baking chips”. It’s fine in cookies but you really need to use higher quality white chocolate when using it melted)
  • 2 tablespoons flour
  • 2 tablespoons heavy cream (could use evaporated milk instead)
  • 3 tablespoons lemon juice
  • zest from one lemon (about 1 tablespoon)
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 4 eggs, lightly beaten
  • about 2 cups boiling water to put in oven for steam
  1. Combine crust ingredients and press into the bottom of a 9 inch springform pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes.
  2. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, beat together the cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Add in the rest of the filling ingredients except for the eggs. Beat until combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl a couple of times. Don’t add the boiling water please 😛
  3. Add the eggs, then beat on low speed just until combined. Remember, I’ve said it before, unless specifically instructed, you never want to overbeat a cheesecake batter. It adds air to the mix which can cause those unsightly cracks on top.
  4. Pour the batter into the crust.
  5. Put a pan (I just use a cake pan) into the bottom rack of the oven. Carefully pour the boiling water into it.
  6. Put the cheesecake into the oven, middle rack. Bake at 325 for anywhere from 65 to 85 minutes. Mine took about 80 minutes. The sides should be set but the center of the cheesecake should still be jiggly.
  7. Cool on a wire rack for about ten minutes, then unlatch the side of the pan and let it cool completely. Refrigerate at least 4 hours before cutting and to get good cuts, use a sharp knife dipped in very hot water.
  8. Serve with whipped cream and lemon peel garnish. Or just bury your face in it and inhale.


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Oops, I Did It Again

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Apple Pie Jam

I have a handful of canning recipes here on the blog. I have been an avid canner for about a decade or so now. I’m one of those people who is really picky on the canning rules/guidelines as well. When I see other sites/blogs where they are showing the results of their canning session and it has a jar only half filled or they have said something to the effect of “don’t worry about water bathing it; just invert the jars and it will seal just fine”, I shudder. Most of them, when inevitably lambasted about that (I am not the only picky canner in the world lol), they say something like “well, I’ve always done it that way and we haven’t died yet.” I always feel like saying “and therein lies the key word…. YET”. Like I have told my kids a bazillion times, you can do something stupid 1000 times and get away with it and it’s the very next time that gets you. I’ve often wondered how many “natural” deaths back in the day were from things like food poisoning/botulism.

My long winded rambling point there was practice safe canning. No, that doesn’t mean put a condom on your jars or make sure your apples have been monogamous :-P  It means, if you haven’t canned before or you have but you’re not sure you’re doing it quite right, go to the following site- Getting Started On Safe Canning and read it first.

Making sure you read the recipe correctly is always smart too. I know this for a good reason. Today, upon making this recipe; one that I have made quite a few times before actually- I wasn’t paying attention. Where it says to have 4 cups of apples, about 1 pound, I saw as have 4 pounds of apples. So there I was, looking down into a pot with 4 times the amount of apples I needed for a batch of jam. So what did I do? I went into frantic automaton mode. I divvied up the ingredients into separate batchs and made more than one batch of jam. Problem was, I only have one pot large enough to hold jars as I sterilize them or after canning so I was there for quite a while, making the jam, canning it, sterilizing more jars, making more jam, canning it… ey yi yi.Use me as your example of don’t get distracted while making jam. Thank God my family loves Apple Pie Jam cause we have a ton of it now hehe

So if you like apples, like jam and love the flavors inherent in apple pie ( apples, spices, raisins) you’ll love this. It makes a fantastic PB&J sandwich, i (and if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I’m not a huge PB fan so that’s saying something), is Heaven on a buttermilk biscuit, is wonderful spooned liberally over vanilla ice cream, great in thumbprint cookies, awesome on a spoon and then shoveled into your mouth. Erhmmmm, I’ve just heard about that last way… I’d never do that myself. Honest.

If you’ve never canned before but want to try it, this is a good recipe to try. It’s easy and the results are delicious. I promise you, if you can read and follow directions, you can can. It is NOT hard, contrary to what you may have heard. Just promise me to not listen to the people who say “just invert your jars; don’t worry about a water bath” or show photos of jars only half filled yet processed. There are reason for the canning rules. It’s to keep you and your family safe…and breathing.

Apple Pie Jam

  • 4 cups prepared fruit (about 1 lb granny smith or other tart apples)
  • 1 1/4 cups water
  • 1/2 cup raisins
  • 2 tbsps lemon juice
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon (I use a touch more)
  • 1/4 teaspoon allspice
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 box powdered fruit pectin
  • 1/2 teaspoon butter
  • 4 cups white sugar
  • 1 cup light brown sugar
  1. Sterilize jars in a boiling water bath. Keep at a low simmer while you prepare the jam. Pour boiling water over the lids and screw bands and let sit. Measure out your sugar and have it right next to where you’re cooking.
  2. Peel and core apples/ Finely chop. Add the water and raisins. Measure 4 cups into a large pot. Add spices and lemon juice.
  3. Stir the powdered pectin into the mixture. Add the butter. Bring the mixture to a full rolling boil (one that can’t be stirred away), stirring constantly.
  4. Stir in all the sugar. Return to a full rolling boil and let boil for one minute. Remove from heat and skim off any foam.
  5. Ladle quickly into your prepared sterilized jars. Leave a 1/8 inch headspace. Do NOT leave a large headspace. It causes the vacuum seal to not be as strong because there is too much oxygen left in the jar for it to draw out. Do not leave too little of a headspace because the jam can boil up into under the lid thus also causing a poor seal. Wipe down the rims of the jars with a clean damp hot washcloth to get any drips. Drips can cause bacteria to grow under the lid, thus possibly ruining all the jam inside. Put the lids and screw bands on the jars, finger tight. Don’t over tighten.
  6. Place jars in pot of boiling water (please buy some canning supplies including the thingamajigger (hope that’s not too technical of a term 😀 ) that lowers the cans down for you. Return water to a boil and process jars for a full ten minutes.
  7. Let jars cool, then check seals. If any of the lids didn’t seal, refrigerate them. Those that did seal can be stored in the pantry, same as any jars of jam you buy at the store.
  8. Eat. Enjoy. Thank me later. Or now.

Apple Pie jam…yummy! I know; boring photos but I was too tired to make them purty hehe

 

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Psssstttt…. Remember Me?

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9

Greek Yogurt Pumpkin Pie Parfait

 

Hey there everybody! Did you all have a good Summer? ready for Autumn? Me too. You back there in the corner saying “no, I want it to be 95 degrees still”… please leave. You scare me. 😛

I had to gasp a little bit when I saw that it had been almost 2 months since my last post. Sit back with a hot drink while I try to explain. In a nutshell… life just got a bit overwhelming and I needed to prioritize a little. Those of you who also blog can empathize when I say that at times you get so involved in the blogging world that the real one tends to fade away. And while that can be fun, it also isn’t healthy.

What also isn’t healthy is having a blog known for decadent treats and having to taste test all of it before you post lol. Mind you, I’ve always been good about not eating much of what I made for the blog but it was difficult having it around. The reason being, I was on a personal journey of my own to lose some of my excess weight. Have I succeeded you ask? Well, when I started I was a tight size 16 verging on 18. Now I’m more or less comfortable size 12 (depends on the brand of clothing). Almost 50 pounds of me gone with the wind…or the scale…or the Twinkies. Whichever 😛 Had I kept posting the things I normally made, I’m not positive I could have done this. Now however, I have the confidence to get back to work here.

Will everything I make now be low cal, healthy and boring? Hell no! I will still be posting decadent treats full of fat and calories. But… I will also be posting things that taste great but won’t make you need to pull out your fat girl pants.

What I am coming back with today is a mix of the two. Like I said up top, I’m ready for Autumn. To me, Autumn means pumpkin. Then I have a side of pumpkin and follow it up with some pumpkin to make it a nice rounded meal. 😀 Yeah, I kinda like pumpkin. I also like fitting into those size twelves. So that means that the decadent pumpkin treats have to be doled out carefully. Mind you, this isn’t exactly low cal. But neither is it a slice of pumpkin pie covered in home made whipped cream. And there is actually nutritional value in this. Go figure huh? Me… posting something semi good for you.

This also tastes amazing. It will take care of that pumpkin pie craving quite nicely at about 210 calories per serving. It’s also rich, creamy and decadent but made with Greek yogurt. I have this showing as one parfait but in truth that’s because I had no small glasses. This is easily enough for two people (thus the 210 calories). So go get some yogurt and open up a can of pumpkin. I think you’re going to like this.

Greek Yogurt Pumpkin Pie Parfait

  • 1 6 ounce carton vanilla Greek yogurt
  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar
  • 3 tablespoons canned pumpkin (NOT pie filling)
  • 1/3 cup granola (just use your favorite)
  • 3 tablespoons + one teaspoon light  non dairy whipped topping
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/8 teaspoon ginger
  • 1/8 teaspoon cloves
  • 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
  1. In a small bowl, combine the yogurt, brown sugar, pumpkin and 3 tablespoons of whipped topping by folding them together gently. Fold in the spices.
  2. In 1 regular sized or 2 small parfait glasses (or any glass…or bowl…or dog dish; up to you) sprinkle down half of the granola. Top with half the yogurt mixture. Top with more granola, holding back some for garnish if desired. Top with the remaining yogurt. Garnish with the remaining granola, the teaspoon of whipped topping and some cinnamon. Refrigerate for about an hour to soften up the granola.
  3. Dive in
  4. Put away your fat girl pants.

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It’s All Greek To Me

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I’ve mentioned before that I have a crappy appetite.  It’s hard for me to find foods that I really like but when I do I rarely venture far from them *Cough Twinkies and Cheetos Cough* (and yes, they ARE foods. Kind of.) Like a medium rare ribeye, potato wedges and roasted brussel sprouts will always, always always be my all time favorite dinner. Nothing, not even Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food will replace it.

You may have noticed that I have not been posting as much of my normal “OMG, if I eat this my arteries will harden and fall out of my body” type of recipes. That has been a symptom of the above issue. No, I’m not pregnant before anyone guesses that lol. But there HAS been something going on. If you “like” my facebook page, you may have seen an update here and there about exercise and calories (frightening from me I know, but you can take the mental blow. I have faith in you.). Well, about 7 or so weeks ago, I began a pretty frightening undertaking. And part of that included much less of those delicious artery hardening foods. You see, I finally got fed up with my weight. And as of today, I am now 30 pounds lighter than I was about 7 weeks ago with about another 30 to go. It hasn’t been easy because I stopped making (to avoid eating them) all the baked goods I love. Thus why all of you haven’t been getting posts filled with those foods. *Sobs in abject shame* I’M SORRY!!! I’ll try to post more of them!! Seriously, I will. I am now able to have some  faith in my own abilities to stay away from the foods I need to avoid. I also have enough faith now, since I have been doing this for almost 2 months and am 30 pounds lighter, to know that when I DO make the fattening foods, that I can eat a piece and not feel like a failure. It’s hard to explain the way my mind works and the mindset I had. With me, I have always been all or nothing. If I wanted to lose weight and ate something bad for me, that’s it… I was a total failure and I gave up. Not this time though. I have my cheat days (today is one) and I eat what I want then I get back on the proverbial diet bandwagon. And please don’t tell me to not call it a diet but a “lifestyle change”. I’m not that modern lol. It’s a diet. I’m fine with that. It’s just a word used to describe the changes I’ve made.

So today, for said cheat day, I made something that can be either quite good for you or somewhat not, depending on what you do to it before eating it. I absolutely love Greek food and one of the things I get at the fair every Summer is a Gyro. But a good Gyro, made with beef and/or lamb, is hard to do right in a home setting. I don’t like the ground meat ones so there’s where that all or nothing mentality came in. I couldn’t have a huge chunk of meat turning on a spit in my kitchen and one of those cool knives they use to cut the meat, I wasn’t going the beef/lamb route. So I used chicken.

Now is this authentic? Is the Greek government going to call me and give me an award for the best Chicken Gyro ever made? Nope. But is this based on “real” Greek food and does it have a flavor that won’t disappoint? Oh. My. Yes. It does. It is tangy from lemon juice, redolent of oregano, mint, dill and covered in Tzatziki Sauce and Feta cheese. Then, to kill that “good for you” idea, I shoved them in pitas. I mean, really… Gyros with no pita? I’m pretty sure that’s against the law. But it was a honey wheat one in my defense!!! Like one extra gram of fiber and I’m sure the word “grain” was on the package somewhere! *grins*

So c’mon. Get to cooking. Your family will love you and quite possibly erect a statue in your honor. Just make sure they wash their hands first. That sauce drips everywhere.

Don’t be put off by the long ingredient list. Most of it is for either the marinade or the Tzatziki, both of which go together very quickly.

Chicken Gyros With Tzatziki

  • 3 pounds boneless skinless chicken thighs
  • Marinade-
  • 2/3 cup good quality olive oil
  • 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
  • zest from 2 lemons
  • 5 (yes, you read that right) minced garlic cloves
  • 2 tablespoons Oregano (this is one recipe where I will recommend dried herbs, not fresh. The flavor is stronger generally speaking)
  • 1 tablespoon dried mint
  • 1 tablespoon dried dill weed
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons dried rosemary
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
  • 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
  • 1.5 tablespoons kosher salt (or to taste. I usually end up having to sprinkle more on the cooked chicken)
  • Fresh ground pepper to taste
  • zest from one orange
  • 1/4 cup fresh orange juice
  • Tzatziki Sauce-
  • 1 1/2 cups good quality Greek yogurt
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 3 cloves minced garlic
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground pepper
  • 1/2 cup sour cream (please don’t use fat free in this; it makes it watery)
  • 2 large cucumbers, grated (food processor works well) and then excess liquid squeezed out
  • 2 teaspoons dried dill (I have used both dried and fresh in Tzatziki. In my opinion, the dried works better because the fresh leaves an unpleasant “leafy” texture)
  • To Serve-
  • Pita bread or flatbread
  • Sliced red onions
  • sliced tomato
  • feta cheese
  1. Combine all the marinade ingredients in a large non metal bowl. Stir well to combine. Add in the chicken thighs and stir well to coat. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours and up to overnight.
  2. Meanwhile, while chicken marinates, make your Tzatziki.
  3. Combine the yogurt and sour cream. Add in the lemon juice, garlic, dill salt and pepper. Stir. Gently fold in the grated cucumber, then the olive oil. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours and up to 4. If marinating the chicken overnight, wait until about 2 to 3 hours before serving to make the sauce.
  4. Heat charcoal grill to a medium high heat. If using gas grill, I’m not an expert there but I would guess medium high there too.
  5. Remove chicken from marinade and grill over medium high heat (this could easily be done on an indoor grill pan too) until the chicken has reached an internal temp of about 155, about 4 minutes on each side.
  6. Let the chicken rest for about ten minutes, then serve in/with pita bread, onions and tomatoes and Tzatziki. Sprinkle feta on it. Eat, drip sauce. Enjoy. Write me fan mail.

Girl Scouts, Schmirl Scouts! Who Needs ‘Em?!

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25

Coconut Caramel Cookie Bars AKA Samoa Wanna Be Cookie Bars

I have mentioned before that I’m not too fond of coconut in baked goods. Yet I have noticed a fair amount of coconut recipes here in my blog. I’m not counting the coconut milk ones however because I adore coconut milk and would happily eat it straight form the can day in and day out if it wouldn’t leave me weighing as much as a semi. Yet I said something about not caring for coconut in this post for Chewy Coconut Lime Cookies and I used coconut here in these Oatmeal Coconut Raspberry Bars . I sure whine a lot about not liking it and then use it anyway. In my defense though, the ones with real coconut in them have it on top, not IN it. Coconut inside a baked good, I have said before, has, to me, the same appeal as finding a hair in my food.

Moving on… remember this Caramel Sauce that we made a few weeks ago? What do you mean, you never got around to making it!? Sigh. What am I going to do with you people? Now before you can get to making these amazing cookie bars, you have to make the caramel. If you had listened to me weeks ago, you would be all set for baking. But noooo…. nobody listens to Zathras! Bonus points if you know (without googling) where that line came from.

Well, that caramel sauce you forgot to make is being put to use today. A very very good, very rich very “omg, I want 16 of these right now” sort of use. My step daughter, who is visiting, said they exert a gravitational pull on her and she can’t stay away from the pan. I found the basic recipe for these on about.com. I really didn’t change much though any of you who have read this for a while know I can’t not change SOMETHING, usually something that makes recipes more caloric, higher in fat and working towards getting voted “Most Likely To Clog Your Arteries In One Bite”. So what did I change? I used home made caramel sauce… you know, the one you forgot to make *sticks my nose in the air and looks snotty* instead of jarred, I doubled the amount of coconut flavoring because the original amount was chintzy, I kinda, maybe, could have, might of, quadrupled (or more) the amount of chocolate chips, double the amount of the caramel sauce and used about an extra half cup of shredded coconut. WHAT!? Don’t judge me. It had to be done. It was a moral imperative!

These are like Girl Scout Samoa Cookies (or whatever they are called now) on steroids. They are way more…well…everything, including tasty. My husband is a major fan of Samoa cookies and I think this means I will be making these often. I have to admit it, I loved them too. They are rich and gooey…boy, are they gooey. Plus they have one heck of a dose of chocolate and the home made caramel sauce is awesome in these.

So git to cooking… though now you have to make the caramel sauce first, you doofus. Then come back and tell me how wonderful I am to have shared this recipe with you. I can take the heavy praise if you need to give it out. Don’t overcook these or the crust will get too crispy.

Coconut Caramel Cookie Bars AKA Samoa Wanna Be Cookie Bars

  • 1 cup unsalted butter, room temp
  • 1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon coconut flavoring (in the same aisle as the vanilla extract)
  • 2 cups flour
  • 2 cups quick cooking oats (not instant)
  • 2 cups chocolate chips plus another 1/2 cup for the top of the bars
  • 1 1/2 cups shredded sweetened coconut
  •  1 cup caramel sauce (preferably home made)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil and butter well or spray with cooking spray.
  2. Spread the coconut on a cookie sheet and toast until lightly browned, stirring every few minutes. Watch carefully; coconut can go from pale to burnt  very quickly. When it’s done, set aside.
  3. Place the softened butter and the brown sugar in a large bowl and beat well, until relatively light and fluffy. Add in the vanilla, coconut flavoring and egg. beat well.
  4. In a small bowl, combine the flour, oats, 2 cups chocolate chips, baking soda and salt. Stir to combine then add into the wet ingredients. Stir well to combine.
  5. Press the mixture into the bottom of the foil lined pan. Top with the extreme abundance of caramel sauce, then the shredded coconut. Top this with the extra 1/2 cup of chocolate chips.
  6. Bake at 350 until the bars are just barely set. The middle shouldn’t wiggle but should just feel barely firm when pressed. Don’t press too hard because molten caramel on your fingertip hurts. Don’t ask how I know this please.
  7. Let cool for about 15 minutes in the pan, then use the foil to lift the bars out of the pan to finish cooling on a rack. If they start to collapse onto themselves when you lift, let cool for a while longer.

Coconut Caramel Bar Cookies AKA Samoa Wanna Be Cookies

 

It’s Berry… Berry…Berry… Good

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31


This time of year you can find all sorts of yummy stuff in the store if you look. Mind you, this year I’m not sure what the selection will be like in say, a month or so thanks to the extremely dry weather. Where I live (Kentucky), they are saying that crops are in pretty poor shape. I know that for our garden, did we not water it every day, we’d have brown stumps. Our berry bushes and vines (not anywhere near where we can water at) are shriveled pieces of firewood now. So what do I do? I buy them… same as everyone else who isn’t fortunate enough to have (living) berries at home. And boy, do I ever buy them hehe. I am a sad portrait of a berry addict. When I eat raspberries, they are my favorite. Blackberries? Favorite. Blueberries? Favorite. Snozzberries? Favorite. Sorry. Willy Wonka moment there. Snozzberries really are delicious though. You should try them. Along with Twinkleberries. Ok, ok, I made that one up, but it would be a cool name for a berry wouldn’t it? I can see them now. They would be a vivid purple..and red..and blue…with pink stripes… and they would glow like stars during the night time. And they would taste like a mix of chocolate covered raspberries and marshmallow cream.

Erhmmmm, I’m done now. Obviously, I did NOT have enough fairy tales read to me as a child since I’m still making them up at 47 years old. Though, I gotta admit, a Twinkleberry sounds darned awesome.

Point of this dissertation? Heck if I know. Other than I like berries. Lots and lots of berries. I also like cooking with berries. Lots and lots of berries. So that’s what I did. I had recently seen a pin on Pinterest for a bread chock full of berries. I pinned it and will probably try it as written at some point, but yesterday I wanted to try something a little different than that. Practically everyone like chocolate and berries so that’s the route I took. If you don’t like chocolate and berries btw, please seek immediate help. You are far too troubled to be allowed to be unsupervised. I went to the queen of calories, Paula Deen, and she didn’t disappoint. I was surprised though. No butter in this recipe 😛 . But what I did was use her recipe for chocolate bread, simply using mini chips instead of regular (they don’t sink as much in bread batter), adding a gazillion tons of berries and upping the vanilla extract big time. Vanilla and I are bff’s from way back.

When you make this, we have already found that it is better the next day. It’s wonderful when first made, but the flavors blend overnight and the moistness increases. All in all though, I have to say that this is pretty darn good. The rich chocolate flavor and the pockets of tart berries combine into a heavenly treat. So, I say, as usual, c’mon. Get to cooking!

Triple Berry Chocolate Bread

  • 2 1/4 cups flour
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 3/4 cup cocoa powder (NOT hot chocolate mix… real cocoa powder)
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 cup vegetable or canola oil
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2 cups mini semi sweet chocolate chips
  • 1 cup fresh raspberries
  • 1 cup fresh blackberries
  • 1 cup fresh blueberries
  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour or spray with cooking spray 2 9 inch loaf pans.
  2. In a large bowl, combine your dry ingredients (not the berries or chips).
  3. Whisk in the wet ingredients (not the chips or berries yet…I’m making you wait *starts humming the song “Anticipation” 😛 ) Do NOT overmix or kittens will cry pitifully. Plus, your bread will be tough. But it’s the kitten part that makes me sad.
  4. Gently fold in the berries and chocolate chips.
  5. Pour batter evenly into the prepared pans.
  6. Cook at 325 for 60 to 75 minutes or until a skewer comes out with no loose crumbs on it. Let cool in pan for ten minutes then turn out onto a cooling rack to finish cooling. You can serve warm, serve that day, but like I mentioned above, it is better the next day if you can wait that long. if you can’t, I won’t judge. Much.

Is It Live Or Is It Memorex?

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Who else remembers that commercial? The line of course pertaining to the idea that you couldn’t tell (I am assuming everyone was dumb and had their eyes closed) whether or not something you were listening to was live or done on a Memorex cassette tape (those funny looking things that predate CD’s). Even then, I have to admit that I thought the premise was rather lame. Helloooooo. If there is not a sweaty “hair band” in front of me shaking their locks and belting it out (as they drink heavily, hit on all the women and quite possibly smoke pot onstage) as the walls and floors shake and everyone holds up Bic lighters, then it AIN’T live. I was poor so it probably wasn’t Memorex either but some crap quality store brand of cassette. Just sayin’
Point is, usually, it is pretty easy to tell the difference between the real thing and a heavily doctored up imposter. Hostess Ho-Ho’s? Yum. Little Debbies Swiss Rolls? Imposter. Coke? Real thing. Pepsi? Imposter (giggles as I imagine the Pepsi drinking crowd getting angry) Cartier Jewelry? Real. Anything worn (or body parts of) by Paris Hilton? Fake. You get the idea.
But sometimes… just sometimes… a fake can be almost as good as the real thing, just in a different way. Like this recipe here- Extra Crispy Oven Fried Chicken. It’s crunchy and crispity (yes, that is now a word because I said so), tender and juicy (that was already a word. Damn, that means I can’t make it into one) with all the flavor you expect from a good piece of fried chicken. What DON’T you get? A large portion of the fat grams and calories.  Mind you, I won’t say to you “Hey! You can eat this 3 times a day and lose weight! It’s better for you than celery!” but I will tell you that it cuts down on the fat appreciably, especially if you use boneless, skinless breasts. It also definitely tastes far better than celery. Then again, maybe you love celery. In which case, you’re probably reading the wrong blog. Chocolate? Real thing. Celery? IMPOSTER!!
This is extremely easy. Just get out the chicken (any part of the bird will do… except maybe the lips and testicles), and go cook.

Extra Crispy Oven Fried Chicken

  • 6 bone in, skin on chicken breasts (again, that’s what I used because it’s what we had. Use your favorite part. Just adjust cooking time for smaller pieces or dark meat)
  • 1/3 cup melted butter
  • 1/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 cups panko bread crumbs
  • 1 11/4 cups flour
  • 1 tablespoon garlic powder
  • 1 tablespoon onion powder
  • 2 teaspoons sage
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
  • 1 teaspoon ground chipotle pepper
  • 2 teaspoons good quality paprika
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons seasoned salt. (I use Janes Krazy Mixed Up Salt which is my go to seasoned salt. Has been for ages.) The range is broad because seasoned salts vary in saltiness. I use about 2 with the janes but with some that would be far too much.
  1. Combine the butter and the oil together in a large foil lined baking pan. Trust me on the foil part. tilt the pan back and forth to mix them together. Preheat your oven to 350.
  2. Mix the panko, flour and seasonings in a large bowl or gallon size ziploc bag.
  3. Wet each piece of chicken and dredge it in the flour mixture, pressing it into the chicken if needed (which it will be)
  4. Lay each piece as you dredge them, skin side down, into the prepared pan.
  5. Bake at 350 for approximately 25 minutes (again, adjust your cooking time depending on what part of the chicken you’re using. Boneless breasts will cook much quicker as will wings. Large pieces of dark meat will take longer. This is based on bone in, skin on breasts.
  6. Flip each piece of chicken over and continue cooking  about another 20 minutes or until the chicken has reached an internal temp of 165.
  7. Let rest in pan for about five minutes. Before serving, feel free to lay these on a paper towel lined plate to absorb some of the excess oil if you feel the need.

Product Of My Generation

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8

Chilled Lemon Dill Tuna Macaroni Salad

There are times when I know that I’m a dinosaur in the foodie world. I don’t always cook light and healthy, I’m not vegan, I don’t cook gluten free and I’m not out to reinvent the wheel cooking wise. And while I admire those who do all of those things, I kinda like it that way 😀 I am, as the titles says, a product of my generation. I was born in 1964, which by some lists makes me born in the last year of the Baby Boomers. It was back when women’s rights was still a fledgling moment, back when Civil Rights was (unfortunately) still not something that everybody liked. It was also back in the days when Vietnam was a country very few people had heard of. In 1964, there were really no hippies. There were “Beatniks”. The famed Jack Kerouac (much loved by said Beatniks as well as the hippies to come) was near both the end of his career and the end of his life. The Beatles were in the middle of their first world tour and on the day of my birth, The Kinks released the song “You Really Got Me”.  The St. Louis Cardinals won the world series and everyone watched it in black and white on TV’s that had long “Rabbit Ears” attached to the back of them.

People also ate differently back then. With exceptions, it was still the time period of mom stayed home and cooked three meals a day plus snacks and dad went to work. People were just starting to eat lighter but for the most part, creamy, heavy, fried, calorie laden foods were the norm. Jello salads were still all the rage and dad manned the bbq grill on the weekends while mom made the side dishes. No one would ever think of making either potato salad or pasta (macaroni) salad without a few gallons of mayo thrown in and approximately 500 calories per half cup serving. Dad would drink a Pabst Blue Ribbon with dinner and mom would clean up afterwards.

In other words, I really AM a product of my generation since we all know what I love to cook for this blog. Creamy, heavy, fried and calorie laden and Lord above knows I love my mayo.

But at times, even I try to lighten things up. At least a little bit. Like I’ve said before, if I actually ate much of many of the things I make on here, Paula Deen would be sharing her diabetes medication with me and I would have to be lifted with a crane. Everything in moderation right? It sucks but it’s one of those sad facts of life that if you eat 14 Twinkies in a row, you WILL regret it. And if you eat a tub of the typical pasta salad, you WILL end up with no room in your arteries for the blood to flow.

So give this one a try. It makes a great meal on it’s own, a tasty side dish (you can even omit the tuna if you want though I personally love it that way) and while I won’t claim that this is health food, it definitely doesn’t have a gallon of mayo in it. I’ve lightened it up with Greek yogurt and added flavor with lemon juice and zest as well as a boatload of fresh (and dried) dill weed. Also, this makes enough for a pot luck or a good amount of people so feel free to cut in half. Remember when you see the amounts of mayo and such, that this is for 12 ounces (uncooked) of pasta. Not as much as it seems and when the salad sits in the fridge for a while, it will soak up a good amount and you may need to add more at serving time if it seems too dry.

Chilled Lemon Dill Tuna Pasta Salad

  • 12 ounces elbow macaroni, cooked according to direction
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 2/3 cup chopped celery
  • 1/2 cup chopped green onion
  • 1/2 cup chopped red onion
  • 1 carrot, grated (can use more but I don’t like carrots very much)
  • 1/2 cup chopped green pepper
  • 2 teaspoons jarred pickled jalapenos (optional)
  • 1/3 cup sweet pickle relish
  • 1 cup (give or take) good quality mayo (preferably home made)
  • 1 cup good quality Greek yogurt
  • 1/2 cup Miracle Whip (if you hate Miracle Whip, use more mayo instead
  • 1 cup finely chopped fresh Dill weed
  • 1 teaspoon dried Dill weed (can up the dried to 2 tablespoons if you don’t have fresh)
  • zest of one large lemon
  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
  • 2 or 3(depends on how meaty you like it) 6 ounce cans GOOD tuna (NOT the stuff that looks like cat food. You want chunks, not mush), drained
  • salt and pepper to taste
  1. Cook your pasta according to package directions, adding the two teaspoons salt to the cooking water.
  2. While it cooks, combine the rest of your ingredients, except for the tuna, in a large non metal bowl. Stir well. Taste for seasoning and add more dill, salt and pepper if needed. I also usually end up adding more pickle relish because I am sadly addicted to the stuff. For the most part, the ingredient amounts in here are just guidelines. You may like more carrot, less green pepper, dill relish…etc etc
  3. Drain the pasta very well. You can even go so far as to pour it onto a cookie sheet and pat it dry with a paper towel.
  4. Add the pasta to the bowl of creamy ingredients and mix well. Let cool until just warm, about 10 minutes or so.
  5. Gently fold in the tuna.
  6. Chill. Serve.

 


Once Upon A Time… (Homemade Caramel Sauce)

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16

Home Made Caramel Sauce (Easier than you think. Honest!)

…I thought candy that came in a bag was the be all and end all of yumminess. I thought that Hershey bars were divine,  Lemon Heads were the best dessert ever (ok, I still love lemon heads. I admit it) and Kraft Caramels were the tastiest thing since…since…since…I dunno what, but I loved them. Mind you, don’t get me wrong. I still think there is a time and a place for all of those things. Hershey Bars are a wonderful late night “I’m reading a book and lazing in bed; leave me alone” treat, Lemon heads are…well…awesome any time of day or night and Kraft Caramels, while I no longer eat them plain, are good in a handful of dessert applications and great for give away on Halloween.

Then as I got more into cooking as I aged, I found a caramel sauce recipe that was simple and to the point. It was brown sugar, butter and cream. it was good and I used it for years.

That said however, there came a time when I wanted to expand my cooking knowledge and I got brave enough to try to make homemade caramels and caramel sauce (I was desperate for a caramel sundae) . I have never looked back since that day. And for those of you thinking “I could never make REAL caramel” I say only this. Yes. You can. If you have an IQ higher than that of the average eggplant (thus excluding my neighbor from this endeavor) and aren’t totally careless when it comes to cooking (you DO need to pay attention or you could end up very badly burned), you can make it. Don’t let “OMG, it’s cooked sugar and I’ve heard it can kill you if it touches you, it’s so hot!” scare you. I repeat…it’s not hard. I’m even going to include a few pictures so you can see what it should look like (approximately) at certain points in the cooking process.

So come on. Go get out a sturdy pot, some water, sugar, butter, vanilla and some heavy cream. That’s it. That’s all you need. No thermometer. No haz-mat suit. No extra fire insurance. Another reason you need to make this beyond it’s wonderful to eat straight off of the spoon? Because we will be using this later in some pretty darn awesome recipes. So shoo… go, young grasshopper and get sugar.

This makes 2 pint jars of sauce. Go ahead and make the full batch. I promise you; it will get used. And it will keep stored in the fridge for about 3 months.

Home Made Caramel Sauce

  • 2 cups water
  • 3 tablespoons corn syrup
  • 4 cups sugar
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  1. Pour the water and corn syrup into a large heavy bottomed pot. Yeah, that one you use to boil pasta in will do. When the cream is added to this, it is going to bubble furiously. You need a LARGE pot. I can not stress that enough.
  2. Pour the sugar into the middle of the pan, trying not to let it touch the sides any more than necessary.  Don’t stir it. No really. Don’t.
  3. Heat on medium high until the sugar has dissolved then turn the heat to high. You’re going to cook the sugar water mixture until it turns a wonderful shade of golden brown. It will take somewhere around 25 to 30 minutes. Also, it smells like toasting marshmallows as it cooks. Pretty yummy smelling lol.

    Sugar/water at 16 minutes cook time

  4. Again, as this cooks, don’t stir. It can cause sugar crystals to form/get into the mixture and leave you with a grainy end product.
  5. Meanwhile, while this cooks, combine your cream, vanilla and butter in a large measuring cup or spouted bowl.
  6. Heat in the microwave until it is hot but not boiling (the butter should be leaving a nice film on top but shouldn’t be fully melted). Set on the counter within reach of the pot.

    sugar/water at 23 minutes. Almost ready to add cream

  7. When mixture is golden brown, whisk in the cream mixture. It is going to bubble and sputter and scare the crap out of you. Even after having done this many times, it still makes my heart race when I add the cream cause of the reaction of the cream in the sugar. Just continue to slowly pour and whisk (if you have someone who can pour while you whisk, even better.

    Caramel sauce after the cream has been added. This is bubbling like it wants to escape the pot 😛

  8. Boil for about 2 minutes more. It will seem thin, but will thicken up appreciably when cold. Don’t keep cooking or you will end up with caramels, not caramel sauce. Not that this is a bad thing. If by chance you do (you’ll know if you go to get some out of the fridge and it’s solid instead of just very thick) you have 2 choices. You can just heat it every time you need to use it or you can heat it once, pour it into a heavily buttered 9 inch square pan, let it become about half firm in the fridge, cut it, then finish cooling it. Then you have some completely delicious caramels that you can eat as is, dip in chocolate, whatever.
  9. Let mixture come to room temp in the pan, then pour into jars and store in the fridge. I use pint canning jars.
  10. This is amazing on vanilla ice cream, in yogurt, over berries, in recipes calling for store caramel sauce or just off a spoon as a treat. Try it once; see how easy this is. You will never buy that unnamed brand of caramel sauce again.

    Really; it was an accident that so much got left in the pot. But then I couldn’t waste it now could I?

 

 

 


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But Yet I Love Him Anyway

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23

Baked Garlic Parmesan Wings

I love my husband dearly. He is the most wonderful man on Earth in my eyes. He is gentle, kind, loving, funny, has a level of intelligence that puts me to shame and is damned cute too.

Yet, if the Lord had wanted to pick someone more different than myself in the area of food tastes, he couldn’t have found such a man.

I love mushrooms. He says “Ick. Fungus.”

I love sushi. His fish better be baked or fried and with the rice on the side with gravy.

I love milk chocolate. He doesn’t much like sweets (so he says…until I bake) but his chocolate needs to be dark, preferably with orange.

I love steak. He prefers chicken or a hamburger.

I want my hamburger medium rare. His has to be no less than medium well.

I love brussell sprouts and hate carrots. He hates brussell sprouts and loves carrots.

I like ribs. He hates them.

I love fruit and veggies. Other than canned vegetables, getting him to eat fresh fruits or veggies is nigh near impossible.

Years of motherhood and never getting a hot meal has made me almost prefer room temp food. His food must be hot enough to scorch off your taste buds.

But the worst…. the absolute worst (well, other than the not liking sweets thing. That one is hard to handle.) is that my husband, my best friend, the man I will spend eternity with, will not eat chicken wings. Not even one bite. Says there isn’t enough meat on them. I’ve tried to show him the error of his ways with plump juicy wings but he still won’t try them.

Not even these wings I made tonight. Crispy, buttery, redolent of garlic and Parmesan cheese. Simple, easy, yet filled with flavor.

He.Wouldn’t.Even.Try.ONE.

Yet I love him anyway. In spite of these major flaws. Go figure. (Love you darlin’!! <3 )

So please. Make me happy. Make these wings. Eat them. Drip buttery garlicky goodness on yourself. And pity my husband. And pity me… knowing that I had to eat more wings than was good for me due to my husbands stubbornness and poor poor food choices. Sad. So so sad.

*Wipes grease from chin and sobs a garlic scented sob* Continue reading →