Some Things Are Just Meant To Be Together.

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It's really hard to make aslice of bread pudding look pretty. Sorry. 🙁

The best of them of course being my husband and I but that’s another story. 😛

But think peanut butter and jelly, bacon and eggs, Abbott and Costello, duck and orange sauce, gin and tonic, Scarlett and Rhett (though he put up with her crap, I’ll never know), Luke and Laura (even if she did go totally insane and he moved on), apples and caramel and on and on and on. I bet you could name quite a few classic pairs that are rarely seen one without the other. As a matter of fact, why not let me know ones you thought of here in the comments? I like getting recipe inspirations from where ever I can get them 😀

One of my favorite combos is cranberries and orange. I’m not sure what makes them pair up so well but they do. It’s like the fruit equivalent of Tai Babilonia and Randy Gardner. They can make it alone but oh my, when they’re together, it’s magic. Then if you add cinnamon to them, they make a fantastic ménage à trois *blushes at having seen the cranberries, oranges and cinnamon in such a compromising situation*

So yesterday I made the bread pudding that converted me to bread pudding. Well, other than those dry tasteless things that call themselves bread pudding the same way Milli Vanilli called themselves singers… they are sheer imposters. A GOOD bread pudding should be moist and creamy, almost like a dense custard and overflowing with the flavors of whatever was used in it; in this, that would be cranberries and oranges… and that cinnamon I mentioned *blushes again* This is my all time favorite bread pudding and it meets all of the criteria above. It’s great still warm but it really shines when chilled. It firms up and gets oh so creamy. So go get out one of those bags of cranberries you shoved in the freezer… I have a recipe that you can use them in w/out waiting until next Thanksgiving to make cranberry sauce. You can thank me later.

Warning- this is not diet food. I repeat; this is NOT diet food. Please back away from this recipe if you don’t want to gain 17 pounds in one sitting.

Cranberry Orange Bread Pudding

  • 6 extra large eggs
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 2 1/2 cupsheavy cream
  • 1/2 cup milk  (I have also used eggnog)
  • 1/4 cup butter , melted
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 tablespoon orange zest
  • 1/2 cup orange juice concentrate , non diluted
  • 1/4 teaspoonsalt
  • 1 1/2 loaves Kings Hawaiian Bread , all crusts removed and cut into 1/2 inch cubes (24 ounces, I just tear it into small pieces after i take the crusts off it makes for much less work)
  • 1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped cranberries
  • 1/2 cup orange marmalade
  1. In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs and sugar
  2. Add the milk and cream, melted butter, vanilla, o.j.,,orange zest, cinnamon and salt and whisk until well blended Add bread cubes and stir extremely well with a spoon
  3. Cover with plastic wrap and put into the fridge.
  4. After it has soaked 1 1/2 hours, remove from fridge & stir it well.
  5. Spray a 13 X 9 inch pan with cooking spray.
  6. Take pudding out of the fridge, stir well.
  7. Add cranberries and stir, mixing well.
  8. Pour half of the pudding into the prepared pan.
  9. With a spoon, put globs of the marmalade in rows up and down the pudding. (If you like marmalade, feel free to put extra; if you don’ like it at all, feel free to omit it).
  10. Carefully spoon rest of pudding into pan; it will be very full so be careful.
  11. Bake in a preheated 325 degree oven for approximately 50 to 70 minutes.
  12. Test for doneness by inserting a knife into the center of the pudding. If, when pulled out, there is no liquidy custard clinging to it and the pudding only has a very slight jiggle in the middle, it is done.
  13. Serve warm or chilled, but like I mentioned, chilled seems to be best with this particular bread pudding
  14. Since you’re going for broke with calories with this ANYWAY, I can attest to the fact that this is fantastic served in a puddle of cream.

Have You Ever Really Paid Attention To Some Food Words?

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Other than liver of course… we all know how I feel about that one. But I mean really… some names of foods are rather strange and in some cases, can even be somewhat off putting if you don’t know what they are.

Take what you all know are two favorites of mine. Yes, you know what’s coming. Twinkies and Cheetos. Wth? Cheetos at least gives one some idea of what one is eating by the use of “chee” though I guess they couldn’t bring themselves to actually call it cheese since even I am willing to admit that God alone knows what kind of cheese would leave your fingers stained orange for 3 weeks. But Twinkies? What the hell is a Twink that they then turned it into a Twink”ie”?

Then of course we have the much maligned “Spotted Dick” which in actuality is really a steamed pudding. But here in the states, where we have completely bastardized the English language, it has become a name worthy of the type of giggling that five year olds do at fart jokes. And No, I do not laugh at fart jokes or at the name Spotted Dick… I don’t, I swear it!! *Giggles quietly remembering the last fart joke I heard as well as how my husband and I titter every time we go down the international foods aisle and see the can of Spotted Dick*. Let’s not forget the brand of bread that proudly goes by the name of “Bimbo Bread”. I haven’t yet been able to bring myself to buy that. I’m afraid there will be cameras filming me as proof of my bimboness.

This brings me to the recipe for today. Now let’s make sure we’re straight on something. I love a good curd, be it a citrus curd to spread on a scone, a yummy Wisconsin cheese curd to either eat plain or fry up and pop by the dozen into my waiting mouth or ye olde curds and whey, aka cottage cheese in these parts. But the word is rather….disconcerting. Maybe it’s just me though… heck, it probably IS just me 😛 But something about the word, especially in respect to this recipe, doesn’t do justice to what a yummy food (and kind of) curds can be. So without further ado, please put your hands together and give a warm welcome to todays special… CLEMENTINE CURD!!!

This is a very sweet curd. It doesn’t have the tang that lemon curd does so be aware that it will be sweet with a heavy orange essence, not tart. It’s great on scones or muffins, mixed with sour cream or whipped cream as a dessert topping or my favorite way, straight off of the spoon 😀 You can sub any other type of orange for this but if it’s a large one rather than tiny like Clementines are, only use 4 or so.

Clementine/Vanilla Curd

  • 6 Clementines, zested
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 5 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup of fresh squeezed Clementine juice
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  1. In the bowl of a food processor, pulse together the zest and sugar until the zest if finely ground and well combined with the sugar
  2. Cream the butter and add the yummy smelling Clementine sugar. Mix until fluffy.
  3. Add the eggs, then add the juice and vanilla. Don’t beat this for long; just until combined.
  4. Pour into a medium saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until it is thickened and registers 175 degrees on an instant read thermometer.
  5. Remove from heat and let cool.

“Just One More Box Hon!”

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I’ve talked about my dad in here before.  He died in 2006 from complications due to diabetes after having lived next door to me for about 8 years.He was an ornery cuss at times and did things I know he regretted because he apologized many times over for them but he was my best friend nonetheless.

He was generous to a fault and man did he love his food, especially sweets. That man could inhale some sweets! I mean, really. He would buy a six pack of ice cream bars and eat them in one night. Or on Halloween, he would buy a few gazillion bags of candy, ostensibly for the trick or treaters but I still laugh over how the kids got all the smarties or dum dum suckers and somehow, there just HAPPENED to be 14 bags of “the good stuff”, aka mini Snickers and the like, left for him to eat. As a diabetic, he shouldn’t have been eating it at all, but he had no willpower when it came to candy. He would give me that wonderful little boy giggle he had, smile and tell me he would only eat a little this time. My dad was a wonderful mix of a wise man and a young boy all tucked into a six foot tall sweets loving body.

One of the things he totally loved was cherry cordials. OMG, could he eat those like they were going to be going off market any second! He would buy a ton of them when they were on sale at Christmas (as well as 97 other times during the year) and when I would pretend to glare at him as he shoved boxes in his grocery cart, he would laugh and say, “just one more box hon!”

Dad would have loved these bars. He and Russ, my husband, would have been fighting over them because they are one of Russells favorites among the baked goods that I make. Speaking of inhaling… Russ is a diabetic also and is pretty good about not eating the bad things but when I make these, all control goes out the windows. So I don’t make them often. When I do though, I quietly smile over the mental image I get of dad and Russ sitting down together to talk with some coffee and a plate of these Cherry Cordial Bars. I wish they’d met.

This recipe originally comes from food.com. I have made some changes over the years but not many.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Bars

  • 3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup light brown sugar, tightly packed
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2 teaspoons almond extract
  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 can cherry pie filling
  • 1 bag Dove Dark Chocolate And Cherry Swirl candies, coarsely chopped (can use the dark chocolate and Raspberry ones too when the others aren’t out, but the flavor will be different)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13×9 inch pan.
  2. In a large bowl, combine the butter and sugar. Beat until fluffy.
  3. Add in the eggs and extracts.
  4. Combine the flour and baking soda together and mix into the bowl of wet ingredients. The mixture will be thick.
  5. Pour in the cherry pie filling and mix well.
  6. Fold in the candy pieces. Spread mixture in the prepared pan.
  7. Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes or until light brown and the top springs back when touched.
  8. Let cool and cut into squares.
  9. This is a very moist bar, pretty much a cross between a cake and a bar cookie.

I Will Not Go Quietly Into That Dark Night

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You heard me darn it!!! I’ll fight and scream and kick and wail loudly if any tells me that it is time to stop using pumpkin in my cooking because Autumn is over. Give me Pumpkin or give me death. Ok, just give me more pumpkin.

Seriously though, I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never been one to cook by the seasons. I mean sure, we have more salads, fruits and veggies and grilled foods in the warmer months but that’s not because it’s trendy and seasonal (have I mentioned that rebellious I hate being a conformist thing?) but because it’s the only time of the year we can afford decent fresh produce and because there are constant sales on meat. That being said, I admit it; I make pumpkin cranberry bread in the middle of Summer as well as roast turkeys then (I have a slight turkey addiction) and I have been sighted like Bigfoot, grilling in January (hmmm; do you tihnk Bigfoot grills out?). I don’t know… it’s just always seemed silly to me to give up the foods I love because according to tradition, you don’t cook certain things when it’s cold or others when it’s hot. Mind you, I also admit that I can’t bring myself to make, say, a pecan pie unless it’s the holidays. Somehow that one seems meant for the holidays and ONLY the holidays.

So what do I have for you today? I have some yummy Pumpkin Cheesecake Streusel Muffins. They originally came from
Annies Eats . I think I’ve mentioned before that I absolutely love her blog. This lady has two kids, is also a doctor yet still finds time to keep up with a well written food blog and make things that leave me drooling. She puts me to shame.

I haven’t changed the original recipe a whole lot though I named them differently (seems only polite) and differed on a few ingredients as well as method. I’m sure her’s were a thousand times better but what is a recipe for but to put ones own style on it? No matter what though, I think you’ll love these. They are sweet and not overly spiced and are even better the next day. They’re a perfect breakfast or dessert muffin.

Pumpkin Cheesecake Streusel Muffins

  • Filling-
  • 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Muffin-
  • 3 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg (use freshly grated if you have it. It makes such a difference.)
  • 1 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • 2 cups canned pumpkin
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon maple extract
  • 1 1/4 cups vegetable or canola oil
  • Topping- (I actually used some left over streusel I had frozen)
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 5 tablespoons flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter, cold
  1. For the filling- Combine the cream cheese,powdered sugar, cinnamon and vanilla extract in a medium bowl and mix until smooth. Set aside while you make the muffins.
  2. Make your topping- In a small bowl, using a pastry cutter or fork, combine the topping ingredients until it resembles coarse crumbs. Set in the fridge until ready to use.
  3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Either grease 24 muffin cups or line them with paper or foil liners.
  4. In a medium bowl, combine your dry ingredients (flour through baking soda) and mix well.
  5. In a large bowl combine the remainder of the muffin ingredients (eggs through pumpkin). Mix well on medium speed.
  6. Dump your dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture and mix at low speed, just until combined. Remember; never over beat muffins or quick bread. You’ll get tough muffins with a lot of tunnels through them..
  7. Fill each muffin cup with just enough batter to cover the bottom. Then Then top each cup with a small spoonful of the cheesecake mixture. Fill the muffin cups with the rest of the batter. I ended up with 24 muffins and two mini loaves.
  8. Sprinkle each muffin with a small amount of the streusel topping.
  9. Bake at 350 degrees until golden brown and the tops don’t look moist, about 25 to 30 minutes. Turn out onto a rack to cool.

Hey Blackberry, How You Taste So Sweet

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…Hey blackberry, tell me what you see Tell me is it interesting Hey blackberry pay some attention to me Hey blackberry look at my bumblebee Hey blackberry you know he never stings And he only hums for me.

Now that you’ve read the title, I am sure you’ve figured out what this post is about, right?

You got it!!! It’s about LIVER!!!! Stuffed with Twinkies! Coated with Panko and deep fried.
Hmmm, how much do you want to bet that in a few weeks, you will be able to find a recipe for that somewhere on the web? Everything else in the world has been deep fried (I am fairly sure this is what happens to socks in the dryer. There is a secret chute and they are being taken to a 5 star restaurant somewhere and being served deep fried.), why not liver stuffed with Twinkies?

Darn it… now I want a Twinkie. Sans liver though.

Ok, before I gross everyone out completely, I should move on huh?

Quite a while ago, I printed out a recipe for Blackberry Pie Bars. I have seen the recipe in many places since then and many delicious sounding variations but the one I got came from here at Joy The Baker . They sounded utterly delicious and I love any excuse to make wholesome fruit slightly decadent hehe.

Finally…the last time I went to the store, I remembered to buy frozen blackberries. So today was the day for these. And I have to say… they’re amazing! Tender tart fruit mixed in a moist batter and topped with crumbs (I have a thing for crumbs. It’s a sickness.). You get a little bite of fruit, a bite of cake and some yummy crumbs (did I mention that crumb sickness thing?) in every bite. These are a little taste of Summer in the middle of Winter. The only thing I think I would do differently next time would be to take about another half cup of the crumbs and use them on top. The crust was a bit thick for my tastes and the topping a bit sparse.

So as I have said before, get to baking. You can thank me later. preferably with chocolate. Or Twinkies. No liver please.

Blackberry Pie Bars

  • Crust-
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter
  • Filling-
  • 4 large eggs
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon each of vanilla extract and almond extract
  • juice and zest from one small lemon
  • 2  (16-ounce) packages frozen blackberries, thawed and drained well
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar and salt.
  3. Cut the butter into chunks and cut it into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse crumbs.
  4. Reserve 1 1/2 cups. Pat the rest of the crumb mixture into a greased 13×9 inch pan.
  5. Bake for about ten minutes or until the edges have begun to get light brown. Set aside to cool for at least ten minutes.
  6. In another large bowl, beat the eggs. Add the sugar, sour cream, vanilla and almond extracts, lemon juice and zest. Gently fold in the drained blackberries. Sprinkle the reserved crumbs on top of the filling.
  7. Pour onto the cooled crust and bake at 350 degrees for about 50 minutes or until it is light golden brown.
  8. Let this cool for about an hour. I didn’t listen to those instructions at first and what I got out of the pan was a goopy, albeit tasty as all heck, mess. LET IT COOL! 😛
  9. Eat. Thank me. Thank Joy The Baker. Thank God for Blackberries 😀 hehe

 

You’re Such A Tart!

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I’ve always been astounded by how the English language has so many words that have multiple meanings.  I mean, think about it for a second. (Swiped the following from a homeschooling website 😛 )

  • crane: That bird is a crane./They had to use a crane to lift the object./She had to crane her neck to see the movie.
  • date: Her favorite fruit to eat is a date./Joe took Alexandria out on a date.
  • engaged: They got engaged on March 7th./The students were very engaged in the presentation.
  • foil: Please wrap the sandwich in foil./They learned about the role of a dramatic foil in English class.
  • leaves: The children love to play in the leaves./They do not like when their father leaves for work.
  • net: What was your net gain for the year?/Crabbing is easier if you bring a net along.
  • point: The pencil has a sharp point./It is not polite to point at people.
  • right: You were right./Make a right turn at the light.
  • rose: My favorite flower is a rose./He quickly rose from his seat.
  • type: He can type over 100 words per minute./That dress is really not her type.

See what I mean? And then we won’t even get into words with similar spellings but totally different pronunciations (rough, bough, dough, cough, through and so on and so forth). I swear, it’s all enough to make ones brain bleed. It’s a wonder that our children learn to speak and read at all. 😛

One of my favorites though is the word “tart” (it can refer to food after all so of course I like it hehe). It can mean that something is sour, can mean a woman who is a bit…erhmmm… free with her affections or it can be a word referring to a certain type of baked good. Since I am not cooking a Jezebel (another word for tart and yet another that can also be used in cooking 😛 ) and while I like foods that are sour, this isn’t sour, I must be making a baked good ehh? Hmmm, now I want to make a tart tart just because I’m weird like that.

Ok, enough of an English lesson for the day. Go push your brains back into your heads and clean up the blood spills. Then go get out all the ingredients for this tart and get to cooking. I promise; you will love this. Bacon, cheese, crispy crust and the over the top yumminess of caramelized onions all combine to make this stick your face in it and inhale good. I got the original recipe from The Cooking Channel. I’ve changed it some but not a ton. I added the Swiss cheese and some extra Parmesan as well as extra bacon, a shallot and the sour cream. Ok, so maybe I changed it more than I thought now that I read that.

Bacon, Cheese & Caramelized Onion Tart

  • 1 9 to 10 inch pie crust
  • 1 tablespoon butter
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 3 small onions, cut in half and then sliced into thin half circles
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 2 shallots, minced
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 teaspoon rosemary
  • 1 teaspoon thyme
  • 12 ounces bacon, cooked until crisp & crumbled
  • 1 cup ricotta cheese
  • 2 tablespoons sour cream
  • 1 egg yolk
  • 2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 inch tart pan. Line the pan with the pie crust (I admit to having used the Pillsbury refrigerator crusts), making sure to press the crust into all the edges.
  2. In a medium sauce pot, melt the butter and olive oil. Add the onions and cook over medium high heat, stirring often, until they are limp and slightly softened. Add the shallots and garlic
  3. Turn the heat down to low (about 3 on an electric stove) and cook the onions until they are brown and caramelized, about 20 minutes. Keep an eye on it because it can burn easily. Stir in the rosemary and thyme then set aside to cool.
  4. In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients.
  5. Spread into the pie crust
  6. Bake at 375 degrees for about 30 to 35 minutes, until the tart is firm and the top is nicely browned. Let cool before slicing or it will fall apart.

Ahem… Anybody Still Out There?

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I know I know… I disappeared for a little bit (believe me; my FoodBuzz rating shows that I have been gone for a week and a half. Erhmmm…ack?) and shouldn’t be asking you if you are still out there. Instead I should be begging your forgiveness for leaving right?

C’mon now… you know I love you all dearly but can you REALLY see me begging for forgiveness? 😛 Didn’t think so.

I had to leave for a while… honest. Personal issues (and we know I’m just full of issues hehe) plus my grown kids were coming home for Christmas and I was getting too caught up in things that weren’t as important as that.

But… I’M BACK! And I come bearing goodies.

Ok, no I don’t. But I come bearing a recipe for goodies. Do your own baking darn it. 😀

I know a lot of people do New Years Day Brunches so I come bearing a scone recipe. Please say scones in a lively sort of upper crust British accent. Or Scottish. Scottish is good too. I expect a perfect accent before you even attempt to make these.

I was originally going to make a scone with other dried fruits and I am sure I will get to that at some point or another. But today, chocolate possessed me. Surprise huh? So I made chocolate covered strawberry scones. But as my strawberries were dried and rather chewy. added a shot of amaretto to them to rehydrate them. Honest, it HAD to be amaretto… water would not have worked. *Looks innocent* Then I made a creamy strawberry butter to slather all over these bad boys. Or maybe they were girls. I’m not sure; I didn’t check. I tend to leave the gender of baked goods alone. I am big on respecting the privacy of my scones.

Be warned; these spread a lot. So if you like precise more crisp edges, don’t put these close because they will blend together. if you like soft edges however, place them about an inch apart. Either way, they aren’t the prettiest daintiest looking scones in the world but darn, do they taste good!

Chocolate Covered Strawberry Scones

  • 2 cups flour
  • 1/2 cup sugar (plus sugar to sprinkle on the top)
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 12 tablespoons (a stick and a half) of cold unsalted butter
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon almond extract
  • 1 4 ounce bag dried strawberries
  • 3 tablespoons amaretto
  • 1 cup dark or semi sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup strawberry preserves
  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Chop the dried strawberries and put them in a bowl with the amaretto. Set aside for about 15 minutes to soften.
  2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.
  3. Using a pastry blender, cut in the cold butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
  4. In a measuring cup, combine the cream, extracts and the eggs. Beat well,
  5. Pour the cream mixture into the flour and mix just until combined.
  6. Mix in the strawberries (leave behind any excess liquid) and the chocolate chips.
  7. Dump mixture onto a lightly floured board and pat into a 1/4 inch thick circle (or triangle or hexagon if that’s your thing). Using a 2 inch biscuit cutter, cut out the scones and place on a lightly greased baking sheet. Gently re-pat out the scraps and cut them. I got 12 scones and a teenie tiny baby scone from the dough.
  8. Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes or until they are golden brown.
  9. To make the strawberry butter, combine the 1/2 cup butter and 1/2 cup strawberry preserves. Beat until fluffy. Do NOT forget to let your butter soften well or you will end up with strawberry butter that has noticeable butter pieces in it, like in my photo. Oops.
  10. Serve with strawberry butter. Think to yourself that these may not be pretty, but darn, do they taste good! 😛

You Got Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter!

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Anybody else remember those extremely silly commercials from back in the day? You have one person walking somewhere with a jar of PB (like the person who posted the video asked, who walks around munching from a jar of peanut butter?) and another walking around with a chocolate bar. They crash, the foods collide and junk food magic is created, aka Reeses Cups.

 

 

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a huge peanut butter fan. I would go hungry before eating peanut butter cookies (I can’t even handle the smell of them cooking lol), I tend to omit the peanuts or PB in any recipes needing it and I eat a PB&J sandwich maybe twice a year. I DO however like Reeses Cups (and cinnamon raisin peanut butter but that’s a different post). They may be peanut butter but the taste is different. So when I saw the following recipe here on Big Red Kitchen , I knew I had to try it. Especially since I knew that in my family, it would be a hit. One of my sons is about like me when it comes to PB but the rest of them like it and my daughter in law would kill someone to swipe this from them Love you Tiffy!) 😛 .

As for those I know in the blogger community, Erin ,
Peabody and Lindsey , this is for you ladies who if I remember correctly are peanut butter fans. I know I am remembering correctly that Peabody shares my love for a certain brands cinnamon raisin peanut butter 🙂

The rest of you, if you like peanut butter or Reeses Cups, give this a try. It tastes amazingly similar to a pb cup yet is more fun somehow with the big chunks (ok, that’s just cause I’m a pig) and homey look of it. This is exceedingly simple to make…and way too easy to eat. 😛 The only thing I really changed from the original recipe was to use chocolate chips instead of candy coating because I don’t care for the somewhat fake flavor of coating.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bark

  • 2 1/2 pounds candy coating (or chocolate chips. (I used half milk chocolate, half semi sweet.
  • 1 pound peanut butter  (I used a full 18 ounce jar. I was NOT about to try and measure out a pound. I just used it all.)
  • 2 cups powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  1. Melt half the chocolate according to package directions.
  2. Spread it out to about 1/4 inch thickness on a lightly greased baking pan. The original called for parchment paper lined but over time (over 30 years of cooking. OMG, I’m freaking OLD!), I’ve learned what can go w/out the called for parchment and I  knew that since the chocolate would harden in the fridge and be able to be lifted off, it wouldn’t be needed.
  3. Set aside in the fridge.
  4. In a large bowl, combine the peanut butter, powdered sugar, butter and vanilla. Beat well. The mixture will be thick.
  5. Crumble this over the top of the first chocolate layer.
  6. Melt the remaining chocolate and pour it over the peanut butter layer. Spread it out making cutesy little swirls 😛
  7. Refrigerate this for at least a few hours or overnight until totally hardened.
  8. Break up in pieces.
  9. Store in the fridge.

Barking Up The RIGHT Tree

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I have a bone to pick with a few of you. Why you ask? Because if I get fat, it’s your fault. Yep; YOU and YOU and
YOU and
Even YOU .

All. Your. Fault.

You got me craving bark of some sort… any sort. If I could put the word bark in it, I’ve been craving it. Ok, maybe not tree bark. Or liver bark. Or a bark that’s worse than it’s bite. I don’t want anything that has the word worse in it. I’ll pass on all of those.

So what did I do today? I made two different kinds of bark. Chances are I will not be able to resist them because they are so damn good and I will need to get more fat girl pants.

And it’s your fault.

Aren’t you ashamed?

So, since I know you’re horribly ashamed of yourself, you need to make one or both of these and get fat with me. Then we can go out shopping together for fat girl pants and maybe stop and get some mall food. We all know how healthy THAT is.

Lemon Vanilla Bean Bark

I made this one because I absolutely LOVE anything lemon. My kids will be lucky to get any of this kind.

  • 2 bags (11 to 12 ounces) white chocolate chips
  • 1 vanilla bean
  • 1 bag Brachs Lemon Drops, crushed (put them in a ziploc bag and go at them with a meat tenderizer or a hammer)
  • 1 tablespoon solid shortening
  • 1 teaspoon lemon extract or 1/4 teaspoon lemon oil
  1. Slice your vanilla bean in half and scrape out the seeds (don’t throw out the bean. Put it in your sugar bowl and in a few days, you’ll have delicious vanilla sugar) and put them in a large bowl with the white chocolate chips.
  2. Melt the chips and the shortening in the microwave. Use one minute increments, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted and liquidy. Don’t over cook it or you’ll end up with a hard lump. Believe me; I’ve done that many times in the past. It’s extremely annoying to put it mildly.
  3. Working quickly, stir the crushed lemon drops and the lemon extract into the chocolate
  4. Plop the mixture onto a foil lined, parchment lined or VERY lightly greased baking sheet and spread it out.
  5. Put in a cold place (I put mine on my front porch) until it is hard. Break it into pieces and eat enough to need fat girl pants. If there is any left, store it in a cool place (front porches work great) in a ziploc type bag.

Rum Raisin Bark

I made THIS one because my favorite candy bar is one I can not find ANYWHERE *sobs*. It is a German one that I got addicted to when I lived in Germany. Many of you probably know of Ritter Sport bars. They can be found at a lot of large grocery stores. The problem is that they don’t seem to ever have the Rum, Trauben, Nuss one and I love it. It is a rum raisin chocolate with nuts. I omitted the nuts because I just wasn’t in the mood but you could probably add about 1/2 cup of chopped hazelnuts to this.

  • 1 12 ounce bag milk chocolate chips
  • 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips
  • 3 tablespoons solid shortening
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons rum extract
  1. In a large bowl, melt your chips and shortening in the microwave. Melt at one minute increments, stirring after each minute, until the chocolate is melted.
  2. Working quickly stir in the raisins and the rum extract.
  3. Spread on a foil lined, parchment lined or lightly greased baking sheet.
  4. Put in a cool place to harden then break into pieces.
  5. Eat a lot. Go get those fat girl pants. Sob. Eat more for comfort and get involved in a vicious cycle that only a woman could do.

Here Piggie Piggie!!

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I’m pretty sure that by now I’ve made it clear that I like pork… piggie… oinker… the other white meat… the… ok, I’ll stop now. But only because I can’t think of any other names for pork. Except for Wilbur.

Contrary to still popular belief, pork is not going to make your arteries clog up and run off screaming into the night (though I’d like photos if they do, please. That would be cool as hell to see. Just sayin’) nor does it need to be outrageously fatty NOR and this is the biggest nor (can a nor have a size?) does it have to be cooked until it is the texture of your shoe sole. I had been cooking mine to about 145 for many many years and was tickled to see that the pork people and the “we tell you what you are allowed to do with your food so that we don’t ship you off to a porkie re-education camp” people (hey, that’s a valid enough description) have started saying that I was right all along. I tihnk they were watching me and learned something is what it is *cough cough*

So for the longest time I had been wanting to try to make a stuffed pork loin but I was..well… chicken. I was afraid the process would be more trouble than it was worth, was afraid the stuffing would fall out and I would be left with hollow pork and was afraid I just wasn’t good enough.

But I did it. My slicing wasn’t very professional though in my defense my cheap arse knives didn’t help lol. And since the roast I used was quite large I could only roll it so much. Obviously, rolling meat that is thick is more difficult than rolling a thin piece of meat. (Am I the only one who is finding this whole train of thought rather disconcerting… almost obscene?)

But it was tasty as all git out (what the heck does that mean anyway?) no matter the thick pork (ok, now that DOES sound bad) or the poor cutting. And now that I’ve done it, I can only get better at it.

So give this a try. It tasted great (says the woman nibbling at a lukewarm piece of pork as I type this -and dripping everywhere) and for the most part, wasn’t difficult.

Fruity Rolled & Stuffed Pork Loin

  • 1 6 pound pork loin (If you use a smaller one, I’d leave the stuffing amounts the same)
  • 1 jar cranberry chutney (I got mine at whole foods a while back) or a can of whole berry cranberry sauce (If you use cranberry sauce, add about 1/4 cup of minced onions)
  • 2 small granny smith apples, chopped
  • 1 cup dried cherries
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 5 slices of bread, toasted and cubed
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon dried sage
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  1. Ok, the cutting part- First, to make it a bit easier, freeze your pork loin for about 30 minutes just to firm it up.
  2. Now rinse it off, dry it well then lay it out on a clean towel. Yes, you could use a cutting board but I am sure it will slide, making cutting more difficult.
  3. Lay the pork on it’s side and using a sharp knife (not a cheap wal mart one like I have lol) cut down through the roast ALMOST  to the bottom. Leave about a half inch edge.
  4. Lay the roast open as far as it will go. Using a sharp knife, again cut the thick side of the meat down to ALMOST the edge, leaving about a half inch edge.
  5. Do this until you can’t make another slice down. I did it twice with the large roast but probably could have done it three times had I been more sure of what I was doing so a smaller thinner roast would probably take two cuts.
  6. You will end up with a long more or less flat piece of meat. Lay it fully open and if necessary, pound it down to an even 1/2 inch or so thickness. Again, large roast; couldn’t really do this. Small one would be much easier. Cover meat and set aside.
  7. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  8. In a medium saucepan, mix the chutney, brown sugar, cherries and apples. Cook over medium heat until simmering and apples are starting to soften and cherries are swelling, about ten minutes
  9. Remove from heat and stir in the toast cubes. Let mixture cool for about 15 minutes.
  10. Spread fruit mixture over meat, leaving about a half inch border.
  11. Working from a short side, roll the meat up. Don’t roll too tightly or all your stuffing will end up leaking out.
  12. Tie the meat up in three or four areas with kitchen twine.
  13. Place in a foil lined 13×9 baking pan. Sprinkle with the herbs and spices and salt and pepper.
  14. Bake at 350 until a instant read meat thermometer stuck into the meat (NOT the stuffing) comes out with a temp of about 145 degrees, about 90 minutes (smaller roast; less time.)
  15. Let the roast sit for about ten minutes before slicing. NEVER cut a roast fresh out of the oven… all the juices will leak out. Letting meat rest insures that you have moister meat.
  16. Slice; drizzle with the pan juices and enjoy. Also… be proud of yourself. This wasn’t just making a box of mac and cheese. 🙂