Tag Archives: dessert

“Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”

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I love that quotation. Yogi Berra said that. The man spoke my heart! I love pie. Sweet pies, savory pies, custard, fruit, cream, fly guts (just checking to make sure you’re paying attention), citrus, chocolate. I love them all. Well, except for the fly gut one. You can have my share. Though, me being me, I am now wondering how teenie tiny fly guts would be if they even have guts similar to ours and if spiders make fly guts pie.

Yeah. Uh huh. Maybe it’s time for me to start looking into therapy again.

I have a few hundred favorites however. Apple crumb (I even love the Sara Lee Dutch Apple Crumb one), Key Lime (my favorite Summer pie) Lemon Meringue (reminds me of my dad), well, anything lemon (check back tomorrow for one of those), cherry , mincemeat….ok, I think you get the point. I like pie. And I’m pretty much an equal opportunity pie lover (hmmm, my mind can make even THAT sound obscene. Did I mention that therapy thing?).

So going on my last post’s idea of giving you recipes to get ready for Thanksgiving before you go and pick all the better bloggers recipes because they make foods that make me look like a three year old in the kitchen *sobs piteously*, so that you don’t have to wait until the last minute to figure out what you want to make, I bring you my favorite pie. All time favorite. I’m talking “eat this until it seeps out of my pores and I smell like dessert (Thinking about this, is this really a BAD thing?) and I fall into a coma yet again from too much sugar” favorite pie. I’m saying “I love this pie and if I put it on my Thanksgiving table and the kids eat it all before I get to it, I cry” type of favorite pie. I’m saying…. I’m rambling aren’t I?

Moving on… my favorite pie is Pecan Pie. Go figure… a woman who doesn’t really care that much for nuts and my favorite pie is Pecan. But it is. And this one in particular. I have been making this for many many years now. It originally came from The Fanny Farmer Baking Book (omg, if you ever want just ONE excellent baking cookbook, get this one. Amazon still carries it even though it’s over a 25 year old book. I love this cookbook and want mine buried with me.) and I really haven’t changed it TOO much other than to increase the filling by half to make it deeper and adding a little cream and more vanilla to the filling before baking it. Why? Because more than I love the caramelized sugary glazed pecans (remember that not THAT fond of nuts thing), I absolutely adore the goopy filling in Pecan pie. This one is rich and dark and wickedly delicious. If you have been looking for a great pecan pie recipe, look no further. Try this one. I suggest making it a day ahead of time and letting it cool, then refrigerating it. Then when you want to cut it, cut it cold, then heat each piece in the microwave if you want it warm. I suggest that for most pies actually. They are much easier to cut and you’ll rarely have that first piece that falls apart that is so common with baking pies. So give this a try. Then do what I do when I make this and say to heck with the calories and drown it in a puddle of warm unsweetened heavy cream. Hey, it’s like a twice a year thing!

Wickedly Rich Pecan Pie

  • 1 9 inch unbaked pie shell (use homemade or use store bought but make sure it is a DEEP shell. Crimp the edges up even higher if it is a store bought deep dish with low edges)
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 cup dark corn syrup
  • 1/2 cup light corn syrup
  • 3/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • 6 tablespoons melted butter
  • 3 tablespoons heavy cream
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/4 cups pecan halves or pieces (I use pieces; make the pie easier to cut and the nuts gets more glazed and caramelized)
  1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Beat the eggs with a whisk (don’t use an electric beater with this recipe. It adds too much air to the filling) in a large bowl until well blended.
  3. Add the corn syrups (btw, bottled corn syrup is NOT the same thing as HFCS. You may not want to stick a straw in the bottle and drink it but it’s fine to use if you’re someone who worries about HFCS.),  the brown sugar, the melted butter, cream and vanilla. Blend well.
  4. Stir in the pecans. I then let it sit for about ten minutes or so before I put it in the pie shell. It gives the pecans time to soak up the filling.
  5. Pour filling into pie shell.
  6. Bake the pie for 15 minutes then reduce the heat to 350 degrees and cook until the pie is done. When you can stick a thin knife in the center and not come out with liquid on it, it’s done. You want it to come out with little tiny bits of goopy filling on it. Pecan pie is pretty precise in how it should be cooked. Too little and it’s runny; too much and it gets granular. Depending on your oven, this will take from 30 to 40 minutes. If it is getting too brown, lightly cover the pie with foil to shield it.
  7. Let cool on rack, then refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. If you want it warmed, slice the pie and heat each piece individually in the microwave.
  8. Cover your slice in a puddle of heavy cream that makes your pie scream at you that it’s drowning.

Make Mine Extra Crispy Momma!

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Is there ANY way to take an appealing photo of a mish mash of warm fruit? Lol

I’ve mentioned my son Jordan a couple of times. He is my sweetheart and I don’t know what I’ll do when he grows up and moves away, though in all actuality the chances are that he never will though my prayers are for him to enjoy as much self sufficiency as possible. On the other side of the situation, there are times I want to send him to live with a band of roving Gypsies in Budapest. Depends on the day. Today I figured I’d keep him.

Jordan is 16, almost 17 but intellectually he will never be more than about 9 or 10 and some days less than that which is why I say that chances are he will always live with us. He has mild mental retardation, high functioning Autism, ADHD and a scope of other issues. Why? I don’t know. He is who and what he is and I love him dearly. He is getting ready to start his sophomore year of high school. Our hopes are that he can make it through without what are becoming far too frequent hospital stays. He gets overwhelmed in school and lashes out which inevitably leads to a hospital stay to try to get his meds adjusted.

Yet this same boy has inherited his mommas warped sense of humor though in him, it is more likely to come out via the worlds worst knock knock jokes or a high decibel giggle over the everyday strange happenings of life. He can one minute be playing “whee” with Joshie, my two year old son, as they both laugh hysterically at something only they get and the next he can be crying as if the world is ending because I have to throw out a pillow he has grown attached to and loves like, as he put it, “another family member”. Life with him is never boring and I never know what will come out of his mouth next. Like today. I was making a fruit crisp. he asked me what I was making and I told him. He “oooed” and “ahhhed” a bit and then looked at me and said “I like crisps. that’s like when we get KFC. make mine extra crispy momma! Just like chicken”. This led to an explanation where I told him that they weren’t quite the same things. This led to his disappointment and my feelings of guilt that I couldn’t make the fruit crisp extra crispy for him. 😛 After all that, he chose to have for dessert the cookies stuffed with frosting that I got for him and Zach (my 14 year old) at the store rather than have the utterly delicious made with love fruit crisp I made. Sheesh. Kids. 😀

Oh well. Maybe YOU’LL like the fruit crisp. I used five kinds of Summery fruits, sweetened it up and covered it all in a crispy buttery oatmeal crumb mix. Oh my gosh, this is good! The fruit wasn’t too sweet or too tangy and the crumbly topping just put it over the top. Try this one before all the fresh fruit is out of seasona nd costs more than your utility bills. You’ll love it!

Summer Fruits Oatmeal Crisp

  • 2 cups fresh rhubarb, chopped
  • 2 cups fresh blackberries
  • 2 cups fresh raspberries
  • 2 cups fresh blueberries
  • 2 cups fresh strawberries
  • 2 1/4 cups sugar
  • 1/3 cup quick cooking tapioca
  • 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup old fashioned or quick cooking oats
  • 2/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup cold unsalted butter, sliced into 8 pieces
  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
  2. In a large bowl, combine fruits, sugar, tapioca, 2 tablespoons flour, 1 teaspoon cinnamon and nutmeg. Toss well to combine.
  3. Pour into a greased 13×9 inch baking pan. You’re best off using a glass pan because metal pans can react with acidic fruits and give an off taste and color to cobblers and crisps. If I am making it for someone else, I use the disposable foil ones; they won’t do that.
  4. In another bowl, combine all the other ingredients (from the 1 cup of flour down), using a pastry blender to cut in the butter until it resembles coarse crumbs. Sprinkle this over the crisp.
  5. Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, then turn the heat down to 375. Cook for approximately 30 more minutes or until the topping is golden brown and the fruit is bubbly.
  6. I would say let cool before scarfing it down but I would be hypocritical since the serving in the photo was eaten by me in the space of ten minutes. Ummm…oops?

Have Rice Will… Kill All Nutritional Value In It

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I have heard a lot of people decry pudding as a boring dessert alternative. I completely disagree. Pudding is awesome darn it! Smeared all over… ok, wait, let’s change the tangent I was about to go off on there. My bad. :-P  Where was I? Pudding is awesome. When I was a kid back in the 60’s and 70’s (yes, I’m older than most other bloggers. I like to think that makes me wiser and smarter and more experienced and a better cook… and far cuter. Or something like that.) when most women were entering the work force for the first time, pudding meant the dry powder in a box mixed with milk because none of our mothers had the time to actually MAKE pudding home made. I have to admit to still having a certain fondness for the Butterscotch flavor. I still buy it as well as the newer types of pudding that have come out. The Jello Temptations are pretty darn good and are low calorie and Jello brands sugar free Creme Brulee Rice Pudding is…wait for it… “to die for” *grins cause you all know what I think of that phrase 😛 .

But rice pudding for me has always been a sort of comfort food and nothing beats home made. But… *sighs deeply*… being me, I am never content to leave well enough alone. Nooooooo… I have to mess with things I like to try and make more things I like. Like I did last night with rice pudding. Mind you, it worked. Quite nicely. But now I have a craving for regular warm rice pudding covered in a few pounds of Cinnamon (sorry Ann … I know you can’t do Cinnamon. But that’s why you should keep reading :-P). But until I decide to make that, this is a wonderful Summery alternative. If you like coconut (no coconut pieces in it cause I just don’t care for the texture as much as I love the flavor) and Pineapple, you should love this. Plus, if you want to lighten it, it can be done by using low fat coconut milk, lighter milk and light or fat free whipped topping instead of the heavy cream. The Greek yogurt in this adds a nice tang as well as some extra nutrition. All in all, while this isn’t exactly great for you (this IS me after all 😛 ), it’s certainly not BAD for you either if you use lighter ingredients. I hope you like it! There was no way to really photograph rice pudding to make it look exciting lol, but it sure does taste good 😀 This makes a lot so it could be cut in half if needed.

 Pina Colada Rice Pudding With A Greek Yogurt Twist

  • 4 cups cooked rice (I used leftover Basmati Coconut rice but any cooked rice would do. I actually think this would be better with plain white rice. )
  • 2 cans coconut milk (I used full fat cause the low fat tastes watery to me in all the brands I have tried but you could sub low fat)
  • 1 cup milk
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1 teaspoon coconut extract
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 20 ounce can pineapple chunks, well drained
  • 1 cup heavy cream, whipped or 1 1/2 cups whipped topping
  • 1 cup Greek yogurt (I used honey flavored because it was what I had on hand)
  1. In a medium heavy bottomed (preferably non stick) sauce pot, combine the cooked rice and the coconut milk. Stir well to mix. Over medium heat, bring the mix to a gentle boil stirring very often.
  2. Turn heat down to low (I had it on two) and cover. Cook the rice until all the liquid is absorbed, stirring frequently to prevent sticking. Mine took about 30 minutes.
  3. Pour mixture into a large bowl and cover and refrigerate until chilled, at least 2 hours.
  4. When rice is cold, mix the whipped cream (or whipped topping) with the Greek yogurt.
  5. Break up the rice pudding (it will be stiff) and fold the cream/yogurt mixture into it.
  6. Add the drained pineapple and mix well. Refrigerate until you’re ready to serve.

Muffin Overload Part One

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Ignore that mine are funny shaped. I am the poster child for overfilling muffin cups lol

My much loved husband has left until tomorrow. He is going to pick up his kids so that they can come here to visit for a couple of weeks. So in what I know is a totally misguided effort on my part, one that is doomed to failure because..well, I am going to be surrounded by 4 teenagers, one almost teen, a toddler and a grown man not known for neatness, I am trying to make some baked goods to wrap and store.

My hope is that 1) I won’t be constantly deluged with ardent cries of “Janet/momma/hon, I’m hungry… when’s dinner…dessert…breakfast…lunch…my 47th snack of the day”  if there are fairly healthy wholesome snackies around and 2) that maybe, just maybe, this can be a bit of a vacation for me too as opposed to my having to follow a bunch of almost grown up, one grown up and a little one around saying “Can you please pick that up/put that away/stop painting the cat pink/quit tying up your step brother/sister with duct tape” and variations on that theme. I know… I’m naive. I always have had a rather unhealthy preoccupation with rose colored glasses. 😛

But I am giving it the old college effort (yet another saying that when I contemplate it, I wonder where it came from. Isn’t a “college effort” something consisting of seeing how many beers you can chug in two minutes without throwing up? ). I made a few different kinds of muffins and am working on cookies.  I’m going to share the muffin recipes in a three part post series. Why? Because that way I don’t have to write one post the size of War And Peace 😀 So here is the first. Blueberry Cheesecake Muffins. Enjoy. Slather with butter or jam or honey or…or…liverwurst if that’s your muffin thing. 😛 This makes 26 to 30 muffins (remember, I’m cooking for the hungry mongrel hordes) but it should be easily halved. Or doubled. Or quadrupled…or Eightrupled (yes, I know that’s not a word but I liked the way it sounded). They are tender & moist with a yummy blueberry almondish flavor and a slight tang from the cream cheese.

Blueberry Cheesecake Muffins

  • 4 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 3/4 cups sugar
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 4 teaspoons almond extract
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup melted butter (unsalted please)
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
  • 2 1/2 cups fresh blueberries (could use frozen I would assume in the off season; just use them still frozen, not thawed)
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease 30 muffin cups or  line with paper or foil liners.
  2. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Stir well and set aside for now.
  3. In another large bowl,beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the eggs, lemon juice, vanilla extract and almond extract. Beat well.
  4. Add in the melted butter. Beat well. Add the milk and yogurt. yep; you guessed it. Beat well 😛
  5. Gently fold in the blueberries. Fill muffin cups 3/4 fill (do not do what I did and overfill them. Oops? and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until a nice golden brown. Cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Eat. Do that liverwurst thing. Just don’t tell me about it.

Let Them Eat Cake

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As you can see, I stink at decorating 😛

 

But if you let them eat cake, make sure you refrigerate it after frosting it. Why you ask? Oh, just go look at the picture at the bottom of the post and you’ll understand hehe. This is what happens to a butter based frosting when left in a warm kitchen for too long. All I could think of was “omg, I am SO glad I got the photos taken!” My husband has more than once paid me the supreme compliment of calling me the most laid back person he’s ever known but I’m not sure how laid back I’d have been if the only photos I had to show you were the last ones lol. Though I did die laughing when my son called me (my husband and I were out) to tell me the cake had “collapsed”. I figure it still tastes good and I’m sure not out to prove to all of you how perfect I am so I want you to enjoy the laugh too.

So do as I say not as I did in this case. REFRIGERATE THE CAKE!!!! And maybe don’t put quite as much frosting in between the layers as I did. 😀 Just eat it from a spoon because you are going to have extra frosting because I am feeling too lazy to refigure the math to cut down the amounts so that you don’t have too much frosting between your layers. Just give the kids a spoon or offer the neighbor some frosting. They won’t refuse; I promise 😀

Ok; moving on (hehe… I think those words are becoming my trademark. I can’t write them now without giggling. I’m not going to tell you that this is a quick fix cake or something to start when you need a quick dessert. But for a special occasion or just cause you want to treat your family, this is an excellent choice. It’s showy (especially if you are better at decorating than I am which isn’t difficult because I’m horrible at it), rich and moist and tastes great. But it DOES take time. You could use a box mix for the cake I would guess and it would work but I make no promises as to whether it would be as good.  The cake recipe comes from Food Network and the frosting is from me.

Chocolate Fudge cake

With

Chocolate Raspberry Butter Cream Frosting

  • CAKE-
  • 3 cups brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup canola oil
  • 3 eggs (bring to room temp)
  • 2 2/3 cups all purpose flour
  • 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 1/8 cups cocoa powder (unsweetened)
  • 1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam, melted (you will be using this after the cake layers have cooled and this is my own addition so feel free to omit if you want)
  • FROSTING-
  • 1/2 cup pureed and strained raspberries (2 pints got me the half cup and some extra raspberries for decorating)
  • 1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam
  • 3 sticks unsalted butter, softened
  • 3 cups semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 3 to 5 cups powdered sugar (will vary)
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon raspberry extract (optional; I didn’t think it needed it but wanted to post it for those who might like it)
  1. Cake- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour three nine inch cakes pans (I used Bakers Joy instead; the spray that has both oil and flour in it and it worked fine)
  2. In a large bowl, combine the brown sugar and oil. On low speed of your mixer, add the eggs. Set aside and mix together your flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda.
  3. In a measuring cup, mix your vanilla into your milk (yes; this recipe makes a lot of dirty dishes 😛 ) and set aside.
  4. Bring the water to a boil and pour over the cocoa and whisk until it is well blended and smooth.
  5. To the egg mixture, alternately add the flour mixture and the milk mixture, beginning and ending with the flour. Make sure to scrape the sides of the bowl off after each addition.
  6. At low speed, add in the cocoa mixture.
  7. Pour into the prepared cake pans and bake at 350 until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, about 20 to 25 minutes. When cake layers have cooled, remove from pan and refrigerate the layers while you make the frosting. If you have no room to put in the fridge, just cover and set somewhere cool.
  8. FROSTING-
  9. While cake layers cool, make your frosting. Melt the chocolate with the heavy cream in the microwave until chocolate is melted (about 1 1/2 minutes). Stir until smooth. Set in the fridge to cool down somewhat, about ten minutes. Don’t leave too long or it will harden back up.
  10. Beat the butter, raspberries, raspberry jam and vanilla extract until well blended. Beat in the chocolate mixture.  One cup at a time, beat in the powdered sugar, stopping at four cups.
  11. Refrigerate frosting mixture for one to two hours.
  12. When thoroughly cold, beat mixture at high speed until thick and fluffy. If not thick enough to be spreadable, add more powdered sugar, one cup at a time, beating well after each addition.
  13. Take melted jam and using a pastry brush, brush generously over two of the cake layers.
  14. Set one cake layer (one of the ones with with jam) on serving plate and frost generously (but…ummm… not too generously like I did lol). Carefully top with the other jammed layer and frost. Top that with the last layer and frost top and sides. The cake can now legally use the name “Mount Cakesuvius”. Decorate as desired.

 

Mount Cakesuvius after it exploded

Shakin’ Things Up A Bit

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If you look back through my blog, you’ll discover that I kinda like drinking. No, not that kind of drinking. Welllll, not often anyway. I’m too old and wimpy and can’t handle booze well. I start giggling like a 16 year old girl out on a hot date with the football team captain. Then I fall asleep. And drool.

But I mean… just…drinking. I am a tea addict and happy about it 🙂 I love pop even though I am aware of how bad it is for me. To my credit, I only consume about 2 cans worth a week usually. I also love milk shakes and any creamy drinks as evidenced by the key lime shake I have posted and the coconut mocha frappuccino wanna be I posted. I also don’t have them often because I’d like to keep my weight UNDER a ton. This is the same reason I don’t eat much of what I make for the blog as much as I’d love to because it’s yummy! If I did, we’d have to reinforce the bed frame. And the house. And quite possibly the earth. I’d tilt it off of its axis or something and we’d all end up on Venus with all of you giving me dirty looks.

But I can not tell a lie (just call me George). The shake that I made tonight? I drank it all. Well, almost. The boys are staying the night at friends across the street & Zach (my 14 year old) came in when I was drinking it & I kindly let him have the dregs from the blender. hey; there was enough left for him! And I was proud that I didn’t just tell him no and hide myself somewhere safe with the blender cuddled to my chest.

I had some raspberries and a peach that I needed to use up and the dessert Peach Melba popped into my head. But that was way more trouble than I felt like going to. I’m lazy; what can I say? I wanted my fruit and ice cream NOW dammit! So I made a shake! Yep. A nice creamy oh so bad for me shake. But wait! It has fruit in it… REAL fruit… not just fruit flavor and chemical dye number 3000. So I can tell myself that it’s good for me right?

This is nice and tart from the fruit (thus why you have to add a touch of powdered sugar or it’s TOO tart) and while I usually prefer really thick shakes, I was quite happy with the fact that this one isn’t so thick. It made it easier to drink quickly 😀

Peach Melba Shake

(Peach Raspberry)

  • 1/2 cup fresh raspberries
  • 1 medium peach,  chopped (about 1/2 cup)
  • 1/2 cup milk (soy milk, cream, whatever trips your trigger)
  • 1 cup peach ice cream or peach frozen yogurt (can sub vanilla)
  • splash vanilla extract
  • whipped cream and fruit for garnish
  1. Obviously this is pretty easy. Put it all in the blender and..well… blend 😛 then garnish with whipped cream and more fruit.
  2. This direction is for nothing. I just felt like it looked empty without more directions.
  3. This one too. Ok, that should be enough now. 😀


 

 

 

 


Ben Needs This Dessert Cause His Parents Are Mean

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Can't you just taste that oozing caramel now?

My son Joshie wanted me to read to him the other night. He brought out a book that we’ve had since my older kids were little. It’s called “Ben Finds A Friend.

This has got to be the most depressing children’s book ever written. Poor Ben is a lonely little boy who just wants a pet but the parents from Hell have excuses for every pet suggestion he brings to them. A dog? Nope; too messy and tears up the furniture (Hello? Obedience training anyone?). A cat? C’mon dad, how about a soft tiny purring kitty? No way Ben they scratch and bite and steal food from the refrigerator (Ummm… if that cat opens the fridge and gets food, teach the son of a biscuit to COOK darn it! You can make a mint! Frodo, the cooking kitty!) The picture then shows poor Ben walking off, looking totally dejected, shoulders slumped. I wanted to reach in there and give the kid a hug (and buy him a kitty).

So then he goes back to mom and asks for a Monkey. Hey, I want a Monkey too; I can understand the desire! I want a Monkey that I can name Stash and teach him to stand on a street corner to make money for me. But noooooo, mom says no to a Monkey too because they are dirty and messy and have fleas. The Evil Wench! So it was back to dad and asking for a parrot. Again; no. Even though Ben explained that they didn’t do any bad things or have any of the above mentioned bad habits, it was nil, nada, zilch on a fine feathered friend  cause dads response was that they screech and squawk and say terrible things. Ummm… they will only say terrible things if you TEACH them terrible things. Though in Bens defense, the parrot may end up saying “Mom and dad are evil parents who don’t let me know the joy and responsibility of raising a pet”. As for screeching, two words; CAGE COVER.

Then he wanted a Hamster. A small teenieeeee tinyyyyy Hamster that he could keep in his room and take care of. But Mommy Dearest said she doesn’t like hamsters because they sleep all day ( sounds like a good day to ME plus  mom, you cretin, the kid isn’t asking YOU to love on it and give it a name. HE wants it… duhhhh.) So he goes to his room where we find out he is sick and when the doctor (who does house calls) arrives, doc says Ben has a bug. The boy gets excited because he assumes it came to be a pet for him. Then he begins to daydream about having a pet…ANY PET *sobs for poor Ben*

So how does this ultimately end as you’re trying as a reader to figure out how to call fictional CPS for emotional neglect? The kid sees a Pigeon on his windowsill and asks mom for some bread crumbs for it. A PIGEON!  Poor little lonely Ben, who has no parental interaction,  has to settle for a wild smelly mite and vermin carrying Pigeon for a pet. WAHHHH!!!!!

Ben needs chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And since this book was written before sweet and salty caramel was around written and Ben is now grown (and needing massive amounts of therapy thanks to his parents) and probably doesn’t get new food treats in the asylum, I made a treat in Bens honor. This is a buttery shortbread crust covered in a sweet/salty sea salt homemade caramel that has been given a nice shot of rum (as was the creator of the recipe because I was so damn depressed over Ben) and then smothered in a thick chocolate ganache. This isn’t HARD to make but the caramel is a precise recipe and takes time. This also has to chill for hours so you need to pre-plan when you want to make this. But oh my; it’s worth it. Sweet, salty, caramelly (yes that is now a word. I said so.) , chocolatey and buttery with a nice crumbly crust. This makes extra caramel. Just store it in a covered container in the fridge and use it for anything you’d use caramel for…like eating it straight from the spoon.

Rum Infused Salted  Caramel/Chocolate Wedges

On A Buttery Shortbread Crust

  • SHORTBREAD CRUST-
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • splash of vanilla extract
  • HOMEMADE CARAMEL-
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
  • 2 cups heavy cream minus two tablespoons
  • 1 teaspoon vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons rum
  • CHOCOLATE GANACHE-
  • 1/2 cup semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • more sea salt for sprinkling
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. To make the crust, combine ingredients in a medium bowl. Mix until it is well blended and crumbly. Press down into a foil lined and greased 9 inch pie pan (you can also use a 8 or 9 inch square pan but I like the look of the wedges better). Bake at 350 until lightly browned around the edges, about 15 minutes. Set aside to cool.
  3. For the caramel- While the crust is cooking (don’t forget about it and burn it; I’ve done that lol) melt the 1/2 cup butter in a large saucepan. Add the sugar and sea salt and cook over medium high heat, stirring very often, until the mixture is a deep golden brown, anywhere from 7 to 12 or so minutes. The darker you get it (before you burn it lol) the more intense the caramel flavor is so if you want milder don’t cook as long).
  4. Add your vinegar and rum to your cream and add the mixture to the pan of sugar (do NOT stir). Cover the pan and let cook over medium low heat without stirring until most of the caramel bits dissolve, about 8 minutes or so.
  5. Uncover and whisk until sauce is slightly thick, deep brown and reduced to about 2 1/2 cups, stirring often. If there are still any caramel bits that haven’t dissolved, just fish them out with a slotted spoon. Then eat them; they are yummy!
  6. Let cool for about ten minutes then pour over the shortbread crust. Cover with foil and refrigerate for about an hour.
  7. FOR THE GANACHE-
  8. In a microwavable bowl, mix the chocolate chips and heavy cream. Melt at half power, stirring often, until mixture is smooth and thoroughly combined.  Let cool for about 3 minutes (no longer or it will firm up and become unspreadable and you’ll have to reheat it )
  9. Carefully pour over the caramel mixture and smooth. Sprinkle with more sea salt. Let this cool until the caramel has firmed up. This can take about 4 to 5 hours so plan ahead.
  10. Cut into wedges and serve with whipped cream (and maybe some of the extra caramel sauce if you’re really into excess.

Chocolate Is Our Friend

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This is creamy, silky, chocolately and as rich as a good quality piece of candy...but cold 😛

Well, it’s my friend anyway. Maybe it hates you. I don’t really know. But if it does, can you send it over to my house? I’ll buy it dinner and roses, say sweet things to it, then nibble at it’s silky neck. Man, why does every post I write lately have sexual undertones? What is UP with that? Maybe I just need more chocolate. Yeah, that’s it; more chocolate. Silky, sweet, creamy chocolate *stops to get a towel to wipe up the drool from the keyboard*

I’ve been told that I am a good albeit very random and tangential sort of a writer. I just can’t understand that. You mean all the careful hours of planning I put into each and every painstaking word doesn’t show? The care and love, the blood sweat and tears (and chocolate) I pour into every post I lovingly create for all of you isn’t immediately apparent? Me? Random?

Oooo, shiny thing!!! I’ll be right back.

I’m back. I still don’t understand that random tangential thing though. Hmmpphhh.

My husband, while he likes chocolate as much as any male, jokes (at least he tries to play it off as a joke; I know better.) that men simply don’t have the same hormonal response to chocolate that women do. I have often wondered but have been too lazy to research whether or not there may be some basis in fact for that. I mean, we all know that chocolate is considered a mood lifter due to the phenylephylamine in it which is the same hormone your body releases during those early “omg, I just have to see him! I haven’t seen him for seventeen minutes!” times of being in love. Not that I’m tangential but has anyone but me ever thought that while it might be interesting, it would also be extremely emotionally and physically tiring to stay in that initial “I’m in love and giddy and my heart is racing” phase forever? I think there are valid physiological and psychological reasons that dies down after a while and love becomes quieter.

Where was I? Oh yeah… chocolate and womens response to it. I can’t help but feel my husbands theory has some validity. Most women I know, when we’re having a bad day, we reach for a piece or twelve of chocolate. Men however reach for a beer and the remote (or go hide in the bathroom for half an hour under the guise of bodily functions. Ok, maybe that’s just my husband.) and would rarely if ever think of grabbing some chocolate to self sooth and relax. Oh well, future research territory here when I have another chocolate post 😛

Try this one. I can’t express how much your mood will be lifted. Especially if you just stick your face in it and inhale. What? Think of it as dessert and a facial at the same time. This is a bittersweet chocolate mousse that has been frozen. I added a little cinnamon and cayenne pepper to it but you can omit those if you must. I’ll try to forgive you. It looked naked however so I sliced up some strawberries, added a generous amount of honey and some fresh mint leaves and added those to serve with this heavenly chocolate delight. And whipped cream. Gotta have whipped cream. It’s the LAW. this dessert is beyond awesome and perfect for a dinner party or when you just want to be nice to your family (I.E. you spent too much money at Amazon or Bath & Body Works)

Frozen Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse

With

Honey Mint Strawberries & Whipped Cream

  • 7 ounces (approximately 1 1/4 cups) bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 2/3 cup heavy cream
  • 1/3 cup plus one tablespoon sugar
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper (optional)
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon bourbon or brandy
  • cocoa and powdered sugar for dusting
  • whipped cream
  • HONEY MINT STRAWBERRIES-
  • 1 lb fresh strawberries, capped and sliced
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint leaves
  1. Put the chocolate into a large bowl and set aside
  2. In a saucepan over medium heat, bring the cream, 1/3 cup sugar, cinnamon and cayenne to a gentle simmer.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg yolk and one tablespoon sugar. SLOWLY whisk in half the hot cream mixture. Return it all to the saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly until the mixture thickens, about five minutes. Do NOT boil.
  4. Pour the hot mixture over the chocolate. let sit for about 2 minutes. Slowly whisk in the butter, a little bit at a time and then add the vanilla and the bourbon. Whisk until the mixture is very smooth. If you can’t get all the chocolate to melt, you can heat it in 30 second increments on half power in the microwave to melt the chocolate more. Just do this with caution so you don’t burn the mixture.
  5. Spray a 8 or 9 inch bread pan with cooking spray then line it with plastic wrap.  Scrape the mixture from the bowl into the pan. Cover with more plastic wrap and freeze for at least six hours. This can be made well ahead of time and left frozen and well wrapped.
  6. Meanwhile, make your honeyed strawberries. All that entails is mixing the ingredients together and letting it sit for about 2 hours.
  7. To serve, uncover and invert the mousse onto a serving plate. Remove the plastic wrap. Dust with cocoa powder and/or powdered sugar. Garnish with the honeyed strawberries and whipped cream.
  8. Do that face sticking thing I mentioned. Remember… facial.

Literally melt in your mouth good

Blimey, That’s Limey!

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Key Lime Cheesecake Shake

Key Lime Cheesecake Shake

 

I know; not one of my better post titles. But darn it, I had to get the Lime part in there somewhere. I couldn’t just title it “Key Lime Cheesecake Shakes” now could I? How boring is that? Well, not the shake. The shake is… to use a phrase I completely hate… to die for.

Am I the only one that completely abhors that phrase btw? Seriously? You’re willing to die for it? If not, why say it? Just sayin’. I’d die for my kids, for my husband, for my God and for a few assorted friends. But a Key Lime Shake? Nahhhh. Ok, maybe. If it was THIS shake! I might also die for Cheetos and Twinkies but we all already know I have issues surrounding those two junk foods. I may die for a good steak or some sushi.

I think I’m gonna shut up now since I just buried all my reasons for disliking the phrase “to die for” Sigh. I need to learn when to be quiet and stick to my proverbial guns.

I will NOT die for liver though! Nope nope nope! Not gonna happen! See? I just proved that To Die For is a stupid phrase!!! Yay me!

Ummm, you’re waiting for a recipe aren’t you? I see you there… tapping your feet on the floor and telling me to shut up.  Be nice; I have six kids. I deserve patience. Or therapy. I haven’t figured out which. Hey! I had coffee today! I’m hyped on caffeine. Just please… don’t ask me what my excuse is every other day.

Fine, I’ll post the recipe. *shuffles feet, kicks the dirt and pouts then realizes that if I am kicking dirt sitting at my computer desk, I MAY want to vacuum*

KEY LIME CHEESECAKE SHAKE

With

“ADULT OPTIONS”

  • 3 cups good quality vanilla ice cream (half of 1 of those “I used to be half a gallon but am now only 1.5 quarts” containers)
  • 4 ounce cream cheese, softened & cubed (throw that bad boy in the microwave for 30 seconds even if it’s soft. You don’t want it hitting the ice cream and firming up any before it gets mixed)
  • 1/3 cup key lime juice (you can use regular Persian lime juice. this amount makes a nice tart drink. If you want more sweet than tart, cut the juice down to 1/4 cup)
  • zest from one small lime  plus more for garnish
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup milk or half and half (or you’re really feeling like being bad, use part heavy cream. I won’t tell.)
  • 2 tablespoons graham crackers crumbs, plus more for garnish
  • 2 shots lime vodka if making for adults (I say even if you don’t want to add the vodka, SAY you did when the kids ask. That makes a perfect excuse not to share 😀 )
  1. Dump everything in a blender. Blend. Drink. Make more. Drink. Make more. Maybe omit the vodka this batch so you don’t do something stupid like stick your fingers in the blender while it’s on because you want a taste. Not that I’VE ever done anything like that.
  2. Don’t you just love when I give you these oh so easy but “to die for” recipes? Please… do not die. I take no legal responsibility if you do. But if you plan to, leave me your cookbooks in your will. Thanks. 😛

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Just An Old Fashioned Girl At Heart

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Until you surround it with juicy fruits and some pillowy whipped cream it can seem....

Although I’m sure if my kids had their way, they would delete the fashioned part and just say that I am old. But what do they know? What’s the old saying? Youth is wasted on the young. 😛 Let us old farts be young…or something like that. If I think of a way to put that logically, I’ll get back to you. Until then, I guess I’ll just stay old and feeble minded .

Seriously though, I really am an old fashioned girl. It took me forever to join the 20th century and get a cell phone because I thought they were silly. For the longest time, I only had a 20 pound Tracfone. You know the kind. You had to pull up the antennae to get it to work and even then it only worked on alternating Tuesdays in months with J in them. I still haven’t joined the 21st century when it comes to phones. My phone may be smaller now but it doesn’t have any bells or whistles. I can’t use it to go onliine, I can’t play games on it, I can barely make calls on it half the time. But hey, it’s not 20 pounds! I’m getting there!

I’m old fashioned in other ways too. Ways that make my teen boys still at home roll their eyes and give me the “but the other kids get to!” routine way more than is probably good for my eardrums. I limit TV watching, they aren’t allowed to watch anything over PG unless I’ve seen it myself or know from a reputable source that it’s ok. They are only allowed on the computer one hour one day a week and then an hour and a half each weekend day or vacation day. I’m so cruel. It makes me happy. 😀

I’m pretty old fashioned in many ways when it comes to food too. I absolutely love the recipes I find online from fellow bloggers or cooking sites or what have you and am constantly needing a bib to sop up the drool over so many of the desserts posted. But when it comes to cake, I’ve never been a big cake eater. My vice has always been more along the lines of ice cream. So unless I am craving gooey frosting like I was the other day with the Caramel Cupcakes I made and posted here, I prefer a simpler cake. One that always works for me is pound cake. You can do so much with it. It’s good warm, it’s good cold. It tastes great plain and it can be fancied up and made oh so fattening by adding creamy sauces and sugared fruits. You can change the flavoring in it and get an entirely different cake from the same recipe. Bottom line, pound cake is, in my opinion, the best all around cake when you want a cake but don’t want either a whole lot of trouble making it or something over the top rich and goopy. The one I am posting here has been my go to pound cake for about 15 years now. It has a fine tender crumb and a nice crispy crust; the quintessential pound cake assets. With the lemon flavor I post here, it is a mild sweet NOT tart lemon flavor. If you want more flavor just make a glaze of lemon juice and powdered sugar. So get to cooking!  I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. 🙂 This is also excellent with the almond extract variation. In some ways, I almost prefer that one; depends on my mood. 🙂

SOUR CREAM POUND CAKE

  • 2 3/4 cups sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 4 teaspoons lemon extract or 1 tablespoon Almond extract if you prefer an almond flavored cake (yes, you read that right. Four. If you’re not wanting lemon, just omit it and the zest and juice.)
  • 6 eggs
  • 3 cups all purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • zest of one lemon
  • juice of half a lemon (again, omit the zest and juice if you’re not wanting lemon)
  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Generously grease and flour a 12 cup bundt pan. Or spray with cooking spray that has both oil and flour.
  2. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.
  3. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add vanilla extract, lemon juice and other extracts, if using.
  4. Combine the flour, baking powder, salt and lemon zest in a small bowl.
  5. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture, alternating it with the sour cream. Beat well after each addition.
  6. Bake at 350 for 55 to 70 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. A few teenie tiny baby crumbs are ok, but no loose batter and if’s it’s dripping, you may want to make sure you turned the oven on. 😀
  7. Let cool in the pan for ten minutes then invert onto a serving plate. Serve cold, serve warm, bury your face in the plate, smear it on your toes… whatever works. I won’t judge. 😀

...pretty unassuming can't it? But don't be fooled.