I’m not a big drinker when it comes to alcohol. A beer or a glass or two of wine every few weeks and the occasional vodka and lime-aid when I’m feeling nostalgic (my stepmother loved them back in the day), but straight hard liquor and I don’t get along. Except in my younger days, when we were all stupid about booze, I’ve never understood the drinking to get drunk idea. I mean really… who LIKES a pounding headache and hanging over the toilet for hours? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
One thing I do love however, is sweet creamy drinks. Kahlua and cream? I’ll take one! Baileys Irish Cream, straight up? Yep. It’s a weird “I love this in the middle of Winter” thing for me. The problem is affording the bottle. So, years back, I looked for and found about 900000 recipes for it. While it’s not exactly like Baileys, it’s a nice substitute when you either can’t afford the real thing or want something fresher and giftable. This can be poured into small flasks or bottles to make great stocking stuffers for the adults on your list. I’ve worked on this for years and now have it the way i like it. Feel free to change up some of the basics to appeal to you; less alcohol, more if you like a stiff drink, less or more chocolate of coffee, etc, etc, etc.
You also can’t get much easier than this recipe. Technically, you use a blender to mix it all up. but if you don’t have a blender, you could conceivably do this using a whisk. Just make sure you gets the eggs fully incorporated by adding liquids slowly and mixing well. Not matter how it’s done though, this takes five minutes. Tops. And the reward for that time is a really delicious creamy drink!
You know the drill… 🙂
Easy Homemade Irish Cream Liqueur
- 1 cup middle of the line whiskey (preferably Irish Whiskey if you want to be authentic. I have also used brandy at times to change it up. You could even use run if you’re feeling froggy)
- 1 14ounce can sweetened condensed milk
- 1 cup heavy cream
- 4 large eggs
- 1 teaspoon instant coffee powder
- 1 tablespoon chocolate syrup (something like Hersheys; the kind you would use in milk)
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon almond extract
- 1/4 teaspoon coconut flavoring
- Pour all ingredients into a blender.
- Cover and blend. See how easy that was?
- Keep stored, covered, in the refrigerator. Best served cold.
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I was playing with the editing setting and liked the glowing look here. It fits for drunk fruit 😀
I like drunk fruits. I like the way they giggle and the way they look at their hands like they have just discovered the most amazing thing since sliced bread (especially since it would be hard to slice said bread w/out the hands). I like the way their cheeks get all red and glowy looking when they have become drunk fruit. I like the way they lose all inhibitions and start talking a mile a minute and are no longer timid and shy.
Wait. Fruits don’t have hands do they? And they can’t slice bread. Nor do they giggle and I’m pretty sure that they have no inhibitions to lose. Sigh. I think…maybe…possibly that what I was describing is what happens when I get a hold of fruits that have been made drunk, i.e., shoved into a bottle of alcohol and left to get pickled… sloshed, tipsy…. totally and completely wasted.
But wouldn’t it be awesomeÂ if fruit could do all of those things?! It would probably be far more entertaining to watch a giggling talkative Apricot than it is when I am the one talking a mile a minute with red cheeks and looking at my hands like they are doing things that a disco ball can only dream of.
So in honor of drunk fruits…or a tipsy me; pick whichever makes you giggle more, I am sharing a recipe for a drunken Apricot. Many many of them as a matter of fact. And these little boogers appreciate it because they start out all dried and shriveled and end up looking like Meg Ryan after more collagen injections (can anyone please explain to me why she did that btw? ICK! She was cute before but now my apricots look better!).
I originally got this recipe off of food.com but have changed it quite a bit over the years. The bottle I have right now (it’s not the first I’ve made) is now over 2 years old and as smooth as a babies bottom. Ok, maybe equating the booze I’m trying to get you to drink with a baby tush isn’t the greatest analogy but you know what I mean 😀 Give this a try. the longer it sits, the smoother it gets. Just don’t be fooled; this packs a punch. The sweet mild taste can be deceiving. Believe me… I know. 😛
- 4 cups decent quality vodka
- 1 cup sugar
- rind from one small lemon
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
- 16 ounces dried apricots
- Mix the sugar with 1/4 cup hot water to dissolve it somewhat.
- In a large scrupulously clean bottle (I have used bottles I have found at yard sales, a large glass crock and what actually worked best was an empty gallon wine glass wine jug.), mix together all of your ingredients. Shake well and then cap or put lid on if using a crock.
- Store in a dark cool place for at least one week. Remember, the flavor will get more intense and the alcohol bite smoother the longer it sits so if you’d like to make this as say, gifts for Christmas, I’d say to start now to give it time to pick up flavors.
- You can strain this through cheesecloth if the little tiny bits of fruit in it annoy you aesthetically but to be honest, I’ve never bothered. There isn’t actual fruit in it and there is not even to notice. You can only see it in bright light like what these photos were taken in.
- Serve in SMALL glasses (lol) or use in baking. It goes wonderfully in an apricot pound cake.
If you look back through my blog, you’ll discover that I kinda like drinking. No, not that kind of drinking. Welllll, not often anyway. I’m too old and wimpy and can’t handle booze well. I start giggling like a 16 year old girl out on a hot date with the football team captain. Then I fall asleep. And drool.
But I mean… just…drinking. I am a tea addict and happy about it 🙂 I love pop even though I am aware of how bad it is for me. To my credit, I only consume about 2 cans worth a week usually. I also love milk shakes and any creamy drinks as evidenced by the key lime shake I have posted and the coconut mocha frappuccino wanna be I posted. I also don’t have them often because I’d like to keep my weight UNDER a ton. This is the same reason I don’t eat much of what I make for the blog as much as I’d love to because it’s yummy! If I did, we’d have to reinforce the bed frame. And the house. And quite possibly the earth. I’d tilt it off of its axis or something and we’d all end up on Venus with all of you giving me dirty looks.
But I can not tell a lie (just call me George). The shake that I made tonight? I drank it all. Well, almost. The boys are staying the night at friends across the street & Zach (my 14 year old) came in when I was drinking it & I kindly let him have the dregs from the blender. hey; there was enough left for him! And I was proud that I didn’t just tell him no and hide myself somewhere safe with the blender cuddled to my chest.
I had some raspberries and a peach that I needed to use up and the dessert Peach Melba popped into my head. But that was way more trouble than I felt like going to. I’m lazy; what can I say? I wanted my fruit and ice cream NOW dammit! So I made a shake! Yep. A nice creamy oh so bad for me shake. But wait! It has fruit in it… REAL fruit… not just fruit flavor and chemical dye number 3000. So I can tell myself that it’s good for me right?
This is nice and tart from the fruit (thus why you have to add a touch of powdered sugar or it’s TOO tart) and while I usually prefer really thick shakes, I was quite happy with the fact that this one isn’t so thick. It made it easier to drink quickly 😀
Peach Melba Shake
- 1/2 cup fresh raspberries
- 1 medium peach,Â chopped (about 1/2 cup)
- 1/2 cup milk (soy milk, cream, whatever trips your trigger)
- 1 cup peach ice cream or peach frozen yogurt (can sub vanilla)
- splash vanilla extract
- whipped cream and fruit for garnish
- Obviously this is pretty easy. Put it all in the blender and..well… blend 😛 then garnish with whipped cream and more fruit.
- This direction is for nothing. I just felt like it looked empty without more directions.
- This one too. Ok, that should be enough now. 😀
Key Lime Cheesecake Shake
I know; not one of my better post titles. But darn it, I had to get the Lime part in there somewhere. I couldn’t just title it “Key Lime Cheesecake Shakes” now could I? How boring is that? Well, not the shake. The shake is… to use a phrase I completely hate… to die for.
Am I the only one that completely abhors that phrase btw? Seriously? You’re willing to die for it? If not, why say it? Just sayin’. I’d die for my kids, for my husband, for my God and for a few assorted friends. But a Key Lime Shake? Nahhhh. Ok, maybe. If it was THIS shake! I might also die for Cheetos and Twinkies but we all already know I have issues surrounding those two junk foods. I may die for a good steak or some sushi.
I think I’m gonna shut up now since I just buried all my reasons for disliking the phrase “to die for” Sigh. I need to learn when to be quiet and stick to my proverbial guns.
I will NOT die for liver though! Nope nope nope! Not gonna happen! See? I just proved that To Die For is a stupid phrase!!! Yay me!
Ummm, you’re waiting for a recipe aren’t you? I see you there… tapping your feet on the floor and telling me to shut up.Â Be nice; I have six kids. I deserve patience. Or therapy. I haven’t figured out which. Hey! I had coffee today! I’m hyped on caffeine. Just please… don’t ask me what my excuse is every other day.
Fine, I’ll post the recipe. *shuffles feet, kicks the dirt and pouts
then realizes that if I am kicking dirt sitting at my computer desk, I MAY want to vacuum*
KEY LIME CHEESECAKE SHAKE
- 3 cups good quality vanilla ice cream (half of 1 of those “I used to be half a gallon but am now only 1.5 quarts” containers)
- 4 ounce cream cheese, softened & cubed (throw that bad boy in the microwave for 30 seconds even if it’s soft. You don’t want it hitting the ice cream and firming up any before it gets mixed)
- 1/3 cup key lime juice (you can use regular Persian lime juice. this amount makes a nice tart drink. If you want more sweet than tart, cut the juice down to 1/4 cup)
- zest from one small limeÂ plus more for garnish
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup milk or half and half (or you’re really feeling like being bad, use part heavy cream. I won’t tell.)
- 2 tablespoons graham crackers crumbs, plus more for garnish
- 2 shots lime vodka if making for adults (I say even if you don’t want to add the vodka, SAY you did when the kids ask. That makes a perfect excuse not to share 😀 )
- Dump everything in a blender. Blend. Drink. Make more. Drink. Make more. Maybe omit the vodka this batch so you don’t do something stupid like stick your fingers in the blender while it’s on because you want a taste. Not that I’VE ever done anything like that.
- Don’t you just love when I give you these oh so easy but “to die for” recipes? Please… do not die. I take no legal responsibility if you do. But if you plan to, leave me your cookbooks in your will. Thanks. 😛
I ALWAYS shake like this. It’s a natural thing for me. really; it is. *Cough cough*
I don’t much like coffee. I think I’ve mentioned that before. I’m a tea person at heart. But being the fair kind hearted person that I am, I’m always willing to make exceptions. So what exceptions do I make you ask? You were asking weren’t you? I like coffee if it has 4000 calories due to the flavored syrups, piles of whipped cream and various sprinkles. I mean seriously? Is there a reason to drink it any other way? It’s natural depths of flavors are brought out by all the other ingredients. At least that’s what I tell myself when I go to Starbucks and order a cafe mocha macchiato latte with 4 extra shots of espresso made with heavy cream straight from the cow, don’t hold the can of whipped cream and 2 extra cups of chocolate syrup please.
Recently, Starbucks has me hooked with the new Coconut Mocha Frappuccino. I can easily drink 4, ok, 12, maybe 23 of those bad boys in a row. Don’t worry; I keep an eye out for all the restrooms nearby. And the caffeine doesn’t bother me a bit. Just ask my husband. We were just talking about this last night as I slurped down one of my home made frappuccinos. It’s still considered slurping it down if you have your head buried in the glass licking out the remaining contents from the inside isn’t it? He told me I looked adorable with that caffeinated wild look in my eyes and whipped cream dripping down my chin. He still likes to bring up the day we got the police escort out of our local Starbucks after I had six Cinnamon Dolce Lattes in a row. I’ve never understood why the police were so upset. I was just trying to help clean out the blenders. And the counters. And the back room. And the other customers. As for my husband bringing it up with that funny look on his face, it’s not like the bail money set us back THAT much. I like to think of it as a bonding experience. For the life of me though, I can’t figure out why the closed sign is always up when I go near that place.Â When we reminisce about good times like that, my husbands smile looks forced. Go figure.
When we had to mortgage the kids however, I realized it might be time to figure out how to make my own Coconut Mocha Frappuccinos at home. We had to save the money plus the kids weren’t here to help me with the housework. So Idid. Because…well… that’s what I do. I create things that hopefully you like and you tell me how wonderful I am to have done so. At least it works that way in my day dreams.
This isn’t exactly like Starbucks (I love you Starbucks people!!!! Don’t be mad at me! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?) but it’s darn close and it doesn’t cost me five bucks. Which means I have five bucks extra to
waste spend at places like Amazon.Â That way, I can buy educational books like “How to beat your caffeine addiction in twelve easy cups”.
In the meantime however, I’ll go
lick out clean out the blender and you go make some of these. In theory it makes enough for two, but we all know better, don’t we?
By the way, anyone know if I have to keep paying the mortgage on the kids once they turn 18?
COCONUT MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO WANNA-BE
- 2 cups of ice cubes
- 1 cup milk (you can use whatever kind. We all know I used whole)
- 1/2 cup double strength coffee (just make half a pot of coffee using the amount of coffee you’d use for a full pot)
- 1/2 cup chocolate syrup
- 1 1/2 teaspoons coconut extract (found with the vanilla extract at the store) (I plan on getting some coconut syrup to try making this with)
- GARNISH-Â whipped cream, caramel syrup, chocolate syrup and coconut flakes
- Toss all the ingredients in the blender except for the garnish. Blend until …well… blended. garnish then drink. then make more. Then drink. Then make more. Then drink. Then come clean my house. Do you do windows?