Category Archives: Desserts

Don’t Mess With My Hydrogenated Oils, Man!

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I was feeling nostalgic today and remembering the good old days. You see, I’m an old fart compared to many of you. Quite possibly I could have been your mother. Oh my, I did NOT say that out loud did I? I was lying. I’m really only 29 and just have premature wrinkles and I color my hair gray on purpose. Ok, that’s a lie too. I really AM 46 (47 in August) but to my credit, I am a vampire who hates the sun (well, the hating the sun part is true anyway. I’m full of lies today ehh? 😛 ) and I don’t have a whole lot of wrinkles. There’s my motherly advice for today. Take care of your skin. We won’t discuss the gray hair part. Let’s just say that I love the word Loreal and leave it at that.

Moving on… I say that a lot don’t I? Can’t imagine why. Moving on (see? I said it again. I wonder how many times I can fit those words into one post.)… I was feeling nostalgic for things that were a part of my long ago past. NO, not dinosaurs and stone tablets… don’t be smart! I was feeling nostalgic for beef fat. Now haven’t I told you before that your face is going to freeze like that? Stop it right now or I’ll give you something to make faces over!

Back in the day, when you went to someplace like say McDonalds and ordered fries they were cooked in beef fat. They were also delicious and it was very easy to eat 15 packages of them in five minutes. It was also very hard to get a hold of an ambulance when you had a heart attack before your arteries were clogged with beef fat. But as you died, you could lick your lips and say “my, that was yummy! MEDIC!”

They also had pies. Not that crap they sell now and call pies. These weren’t baked. They were deep fried in pure fat, mannnnn! And O…M…G… they were good. Te outside got all bubbly and crisp and the inside..well, the inside made it up to approximately 3000 degrees and many people had to have tongue transplants because of it. If you ever run into someone with out a tongue who is past a certain age, if they could talk and tell you, they’d say it was due to a fried pie.

Damnnnnnnn, did I wander today. But you’re used to that by now right? What was I saying? Oh yeah, moving on (giggles*), I LIKE my fats. I LIKE my hydrogenated oils. they may kill me, but I’ll die of eating crispy goodness like this fried pie. These are so simple and very tasty. they come from dear old (and she IS heading towards old 😛 ) Paula Deen. I mean, it’s fried; you were expecting it to be from “Hungry Girl”? If Ms. Deen could have found a way to fit a few sticks of butter in this, I’m sure she would have. But barring that, she DID manage to stuff some pie crust with apples, sugar, cinnamon and butter and then deep fry it. I added the glaze to these myself because I wanted a glazed apple fritter effect. Try them. You must. For me and my nostalgia. Because you love me. 😀

Mini Fried Apple Pies

  • 1 4.5 to 5 ounce package dried apples
  • 2 cups water
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1/2 to 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 15 ounce package premade rolled pie crusts
  • 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil (more if needed to get an inch of oil in pot)
  • GLAZE-
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • enough apple juice to make a thin glaze
  1. Cook the apples in the water over medium low heat for about one hour or until water is cooked out and apples are tender.
  2. Add the butter, sugar and cinnamon and mix well. Let cool.
  3. Meanwhile, unroll your pie crust and using either a big biscuit cutter (or a glass like I did because my biggest biscuit cutter was still too small) cut rounds out of each pie crust. I got 7 from each with scraps that I was too lazy to reroll.
  4. Heat oil to 350.
  5. Place one tablespoon on each round. Moisten edge of the rounds with water then fold over to enclose filling. Seal well so they don’t pop open in the oil. Don’t ask me how I know that that can happen. I must have read it somewhere. Yeah, that’s it.
  6. Fry 3 to 4 pies at a time in the hot oil for about 2 minutes or until golden brown. Lay on a paper towel lines cookie sheet while you make glaze.
  7. Mix the powdered sugar with enough apple juice to make a thin glaze.  Dip each pie into the glaze and thoroughly coat it.
  8. Eat one. Then eat another. Then another. Erhmmm… moving on. HEH! I got it in one more time!


Ben Needs This Dessert Cause His Parents Are Mean

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Can't you just taste that oozing caramel now?

My son Joshie wanted me to read to him the other night. He brought out a book that we’ve had since my older kids were little. It’s called “Ben Finds A Friend.

This has got to be the most depressing children’s book ever written. Poor Ben is a lonely little boy who just wants a pet but the parents from Hell have excuses for every pet suggestion he brings to them. A dog? Nope; too messy and tears up the furniture (Hello? Obedience training anyone?). A cat? C’mon dad, how about a soft tiny purring kitty? No way Ben they scratch and bite and steal food from the refrigerator (Ummm… if that cat opens the fridge and gets food, teach the son of a biscuit to COOK darn it! You can make a mint! Frodo, the cooking kitty!) The picture then shows poor Ben walking off, looking totally dejected, shoulders slumped. I wanted to reach in there and give the kid a hug (and buy him a kitty).

So then he goes back to mom and asks for a Monkey. Hey, I want a Monkey too; I can understand the desire! I want a Monkey that I can name Stash and teach him to stand on a street corner to make money for me. But noooooo, mom says no to a Monkey too because they are dirty and messy and have fleas. The Evil Wench! So it was back to dad and asking for a parrot. Again; no. Even though Ben explained that they didn’t do any bad things or have any of the above mentioned bad habits, it was nil, nada, zilch on a fine feathered friend  cause dads response was that they screech and squawk and say terrible things. Ummm… they will only say terrible things if you TEACH them terrible things. Though in Bens defense, the parrot may end up saying “Mom and dad are evil parents who don’t let me know the joy and responsibility of raising a pet”. As for screeching, two words; CAGE COVER.

Then he wanted a Hamster. A small teenieeeee tinyyyyy Hamster that he could keep in his room and take care of. But Mommy Dearest said she doesn’t like hamsters because they sleep all day ( sounds like a good day to ME plus  mom, you cretin, the kid isn’t asking YOU to love on it and give it a name. HE wants it… duhhhh.) So he goes to his room where we find out he is sick and when the doctor (who does house calls) arrives, doc says Ben has a bug. The boy gets excited because he assumes it came to be a pet for him. Then he begins to daydream about having a pet…ANY PET *sobs for poor Ben*

So how does this ultimately end as you’re trying as a reader to figure out how to call fictional CPS for emotional neglect? The kid sees a Pigeon on his windowsill and asks mom for some bread crumbs for it. A PIGEON!  Poor little lonely Ben, who has no parental interaction,  has to settle for a wild smelly mite and vermin carrying Pigeon for a pet. WAHHHH!!!!!

Ben needs chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And since this book was written before sweet and salty caramel was around written and Ben is now grown (and needing massive amounts of therapy thanks to his parents) and probably doesn’t get new food treats in the asylum, I made a treat in Bens honor. This is a buttery shortbread crust covered in a sweet/salty sea salt homemade caramel that has been given a nice shot of rum (as was the creator of the recipe because I was so damn depressed over Ben) and then smothered in a thick chocolate ganache. This isn’t HARD to make but the caramel is a precise recipe and takes time. This also has to chill for hours so you need to pre-plan when you want to make this. But oh my; it’s worth it. Sweet, salty, caramelly (yes that is now a word. I said so.) , chocolatey and buttery with a nice crumbly crust. This makes extra caramel. Just store it in a covered container in the fridge and use it for anything you’d use caramel for…like eating it straight from the spoon.

Rum Infused Salted  Caramel/Chocolate Wedges

On A Buttery Shortbread Crust

  • SHORTBREAD CRUST-
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • splash of vanilla extract
  • HOMEMADE CARAMEL-
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
  • 2 cups heavy cream minus two tablespoons
  • 1 teaspoon vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons rum
  • CHOCOLATE GANACHE-
  • 1/2 cup semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • more sea salt for sprinkling
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. To make the crust, combine ingredients in a medium bowl. Mix until it is well blended and crumbly. Press down into a foil lined and greased 9 inch pie pan (you can also use a 8 or 9 inch square pan but I like the look of the wedges better). Bake at 350 until lightly browned around the edges, about 15 minutes. Set aside to cool.
  3. For the caramel- While the crust is cooking (don’t forget about it and burn it; I’ve done that lol) melt the 1/2 cup butter in a large saucepan. Add the sugar and sea salt and cook over medium high heat, stirring very often, until the mixture is a deep golden brown, anywhere from 7 to 12 or so minutes. The darker you get it (before you burn it lol) the more intense the caramel flavor is so if you want milder don’t cook as long).
  4. Add your vinegar and rum to your cream and add the mixture to the pan of sugar (do NOT stir). Cover the pan and let cook over medium low heat without stirring until most of the caramel bits dissolve, about 8 minutes or so.
  5. Uncover and whisk until sauce is slightly thick, deep brown and reduced to about 2 1/2 cups, stirring often. If there are still any caramel bits that haven’t dissolved, just fish them out with a slotted spoon. Then eat them; they are yummy!
  6. Let cool for about ten minutes then pour over the shortbread crust. Cover with foil and refrigerate for about an hour.
  7. FOR THE GANACHE-
  8. In a microwavable bowl, mix the chocolate chips and heavy cream. Melt at half power, stirring often, until mixture is smooth and thoroughly combined.  Let cool for about 3 minutes (no longer or it will firm up and become unspreadable and you’ll have to reheat it )
  9. Carefully pour over the caramel mixture and smooth. Sprinkle with more sea salt. Let this cool until the caramel has firmed up. This can take about 4 to 5 hours so plan ahead.
  10. Cut into wedges and serve with whipped cream (and maybe some of the extra caramel sauce if you’re really into excess.

Chocolate Is Our Friend

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This is creamy, silky, chocolately and as rich as a good quality piece of candy...but cold 😛

Well, it’s my friend anyway. Maybe it hates you. I don’t really know. But if it does, can you send it over to my house? I’ll buy it dinner and roses, say sweet things to it, then nibble at it’s silky neck. Man, why does every post I write lately have sexual undertones? What is UP with that? Maybe I just need more chocolate. Yeah, that’s it; more chocolate. Silky, sweet, creamy chocolate *stops to get a towel to wipe up the drool from the keyboard*

I’ve been told that I am a good albeit very random and tangential sort of a writer. I just can’t understand that. You mean all the careful hours of planning I put into each and every painstaking word doesn’t show? The care and love, the blood sweat and tears (and chocolate) I pour into every post I lovingly create for all of you isn’t immediately apparent? Me? Random?

Oooo, shiny thing!!! I’ll be right back.

I’m back. I still don’t understand that random tangential thing though. Hmmpphhh.

My husband, while he likes chocolate as much as any male, jokes (at least he tries to play it off as a joke; I know better.) that men simply don’t have the same hormonal response to chocolate that women do. I have often wondered but have been too lazy to research whether or not there may be some basis in fact for that. I mean, we all know that chocolate is considered a mood lifter due to the phenylephylamine in it which is the same hormone your body releases during those early “omg, I just have to see him! I haven’t seen him for seventeen minutes!” times of being in love. Not that I’m tangential but has anyone but me ever thought that while it might be interesting, it would also be extremely emotionally and physically tiring to stay in that initial “I’m in love and giddy and my heart is racing” phase forever? I think there are valid physiological and psychological reasons that dies down after a while and love becomes quieter.

Where was I? Oh yeah… chocolate and womens response to it. I can’t help but feel my husbands theory has some validity. Most women I know, when we’re having a bad day, we reach for a piece or twelve of chocolate. Men however reach for a beer and the remote (or go hide in the bathroom for half an hour under the guise of bodily functions. Ok, maybe that’s just my husband.) and would rarely if ever think of grabbing some chocolate to self sooth and relax. Oh well, future research territory here when I have another chocolate post 😛

Try this one. I can’t express how much your mood will be lifted. Especially if you just stick your face in it and inhale. What? Think of it as dessert and a facial at the same time. This is a bittersweet chocolate mousse that has been frozen. I added a little cinnamon and cayenne pepper to it but you can omit those if you must. I’ll try to forgive you. It looked naked however so I sliced up some strawberries, added a generous amount of honey and some fresh mint leaves and added those to serve with this heavenly chocolate delight. And whipped cream. Gotta have whipped cream. It’s the LAW. this dessert is beyond awesome and perfect for a dinner party or when you just want to be nice to your family (I.E. you spent too much money at Amazon or Bath & Body Works)

Frozen Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse

With

Honey Mint Strawberries & Whipped Cream

  • 7 ounces (approximately 1 1/4 cups) bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 2/3 cup heavy cream
  • 1/3 cup plus one tablespoon sugar
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper (optional)
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon bourbon or brandy
  • cocoa and powdered sugar for dusting
  • whipped cream
  • HONEY MINT STRAWBERRIES-
  • 1 lb fresh strawberries, capped and sliced
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint leaves
  1. Put the chocolate into a large bowl and set aside
  2. In a saucepan over medium heat, bring the cream, 1/3 cup sugar, cinnamon and cayenne to a gentle simmer.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg yolk and one tablespoon sugar. SLOWLY whisk in half the hot cream mixture. Return it all to the saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly until the mixture thickens, about five minutes. Do NOT boil.
  4. Pour the hot mixture over the chocolate. let sit for about 2 minutes. Slowly whisk in the butter, a little bit at a time and then add the vanilla and the bourbon. Whisk until the mixture is very smooth. If you can’t get all the chocolate to melt, you can heat it in 30 second increments on half power in the microwave to melt the chocolate more. Just do this with caution so you don’t burn the mixture.
  5. Spray a 8 or 9 inch bread pan with cooking spray then line it with plastic wrap.  Scrape the mixture from the bowl into the pan. Cover with more plastic wrap and freeze for at least six hours. This can be made well ahead of time and left frozen and well wrapped.
  6. Meanwhile, make your honeyed strawberries. All that entails is mixing the ingredients together and letting it sit for about 2 hours.
  7. To serve, uncover and invert the mousse onto a serving plate. Remove the plastic wrap. Dust with cocoa powder and/or powdered sugar. Garnish with the honeyed strawberries and whipped cream.
  8. Do that face sticking thing I mentioned. Remember… facial.

Literally melt in your mouth good

Who Says This Flavor Combo Is Just For Christmas?

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I think it has already become obvious that I like drinks. No no not alcoholic drinks though I have been known to imbibe at times. On a side note related to that, the women my husband works with (he is an R.N. so mainly works with women) told him recently when I was talking to him at work and said for him to tell them that I would have a beer for them (they were working late) that I “didn’t look like a drinker”.  Huh? Now I love these ladies to death so if you’re reading this, know that it tickled me to no end to hear that but…. HUH???? What does a drinker look like anyway? 😛 I feel like next time I want to have a drink (tonight) I need to get on a wife beater t-shirt, lots of eye make up and burp and cuss a lot. Wait… I know people like that. Never mind. 😀 But seriously, what does a drinker look like anyway? Obviously not middle aged and middle income with long hair that has more gray than I like to admit to and a really laid back way of dressing (translate- jeans and t shirts or nightgowns if I can get away with it). I have always gotten the “sweet” label but darn it, I can cuss and drink with the best of them!!! So long as they don’t say anything stronger than darn it and don’t drink anything too high of a proof or I’ll end up on the floor…or giggling madly because my hand looks funny. I’m really ruining my own case here aren’t I? Sigh.

Moving on…or back…or sideways, whichever it was, I like drinks. Cold drinks, hot drinks, warm drinks, room temp drinks (am I the only one who prefers my pop room temp?). I am a very poor eater at the best of times but I am a fairly big drinker (now that sounds bad. I can see it later… “Yeah Janet said right there in her blog that she has a drinking problem! No, really, she did! She said she is a big drinker!”) and like most people, I am even more so in hot weather. I still drink my hot tea but I like to shake it up a bit. Hmmm, now that I’ve said shake, I can move onto the recipe. Wow, was that a lame segue or what!?

I have never been much on the you can/should/must/it’s the law/only eat some things during certain times of the year idea. When I want something, other than seasonal berries that cost more than a house payment during the Winter, I want it now. I don’t want to wait six months for it to be the “right” time to eat it. Today, I wanted chocolate mint. That is typically a combo one sees the most during the holidays and I’m not sure why. Especially when you can be having it in this delicious shake. And boy, do I mean delicious. Being the poor eater that I am, I will probably not eat dinner tonight because I am too busy slurping this shake down as I type this. But I think it’s worth it 😀 Frosty mint, vanilla ice cream and sweet chocolate . Oh my. This is yummy. So get out the blender; go buy some York Peppermint Patties and vanilla ice cream (and some peppermint schnapps and creme de cacao if you want an adult version) and get to blending this one. Enjoy!

York Peppermint Pattie Milk Shake

  • 3 snack sized York peppermint Patties (plus one more for garnish)
  • 1/2 cup cold milk
  • 2/3 cup vanilla ice cream
  • 2 tablespoons chocolate syrup
  • a few drops mint extract (optional)
  • 1/2 shot each peppermint schnapps and creme de cacao if making an adult version
  1. Put it all in the blender.
  2. Blend.
  3. Garnish with the extra peppermint pattie, whipped cream and more chocolate syrup
  4. Drink.
  5. Wasn’t that easy?

 

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This Has Not A Darn Thing To Do With The Recipe :-P

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These are thick & fudgy & oh so chewy with frosting that isn't too sweet. Oh my....

 

But it’s a funny story and I wanted to share it. Why? Because I am not in possession of working brain cells today and I couldn’t think of a story that would segue into Malted Milk Ball Brownies easily 😛 .

I wrote this years back. Yes… it’s true 😀

Who needs fillings? I have glue!

Last night I was, well, rather buzzed. Ok ok I was pretty well blitzed. Well, I have some herbal supplement drops I take every day. At about 9pm, I drunkenly realized I hadn’t taken then yet. In a fit of alcohol induced responsibility to my body, I went to go take them.

Just like most people, I can walk through my home in the dark with no problem. I know the path; I do it often. So when I went to get the drops out of my purse, I didn’t bother with a light. I grabbed my purse off the bathroom floor and got the drops out by feel. Or so I thought. I shook the bottle feeling like such a good girl that I was remembering to take them, hiccuped a few times, then experimentally shook the bottle. Then shook it again because I was SURE I had had more than that in there.

But, being the drunken fool that I was, I just assumed I had used more than I thought so I opened the bottle and tipped it up over my mouth. Not much was coming out so I squeezed harder… then harder. Suddenly some spark ignited in a few sober cells in my brain and I turned on the light and looked at the bottle. I had just squirted a half a bottle of Nail Glue (Super Glue) in my mouth.

“OMG… ACKKKKK… I’m gonna glue my tongue to my teeth!!!”, I screamed as I turned the water as hot as it would go after flinging the culprit glue behind me. I started gulping hot water trying to dissolve the glue before it glued my wiggly thingy in my throat to my tongue or something. Yes, I know it’s called a Uvula but wiggly thingy is more fun. I grabbed my toothbrush and practically killed myself trying to brush my Esophagus and stomach lining. Screw my glue coated teeth. I had visions of my throat sticking to itself and dying on my bathroom floor with my uvula stuck to my tongue. I had no intention of the legacy I left my kids being a headline on the 11 o clock news saying “A local woman died tonight after she drank super glue and her wiggly thingy got attached to her esophagus and she choked to death.”

After I calmed down and realized I wasn’t going to die of glue poisoning or a glued throat, I started laughing. Only in MY life could this happen. Never again will I look for ANYTHING when I’m buzzed.

My teeth feel funny. How do you get super glue off your teeth???

On that note, today I made brownies for you. Not just any brownies though; these are stuffed with chocolate chips and many many chunky pieces of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls. then to add insult to high blood sugar injury, I added a thick creamy malted milk buttercream and garnished it with more Whoppers. Now unless you have the sugar tolerance of say… a five year old (I.E. could eat a full five pound bag of sugar with no problem and ask for more) cut these small. They are rich… they are sweet… they are darned awesome if I do say so myself. Enjoy! 🙂 These are loosely adapted from a Cooks Illustrated brownie recipe.

Malted Milk Ball Brownies

With

A Malted Milk Butter Cream Frosting

  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup chocolate flavored malted milk powder (find with the nestles quik and hot cocoa mixes and such)
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons boiling water
  • 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
  • 1/2 stick (1/4 cup) melted butter
  • 2/3 cup oil
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour (am I the only one who calls it “all porpoise flour? Ummm…don’t answer that)
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips (use good quality ones)
  • 2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely crushed (leave the chunks decent sized; you want to bite into the brownies and get some nice flavor from the chunks of candy :-)  )
  • FOR THE FROSTING- (we’re making this easy {but still delicious} today)
  • 1 can butter cream frosting
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  • 2/3 cups malted milk powder
  • malted milk balls for garnish
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil and spray lightly with cooking spray.
  3. Whisk together the cocoa, malted milk powder and boiling water.
  4. Add the unsweetened chocolate and whisk well until the chocolate is melted.
  5. Whisk in the melted butter and oil then the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla. Whisk in the sugar. Stir in the flour and salt.
  6. Fold in the chocolate chips and crushed malted milk balls.
  7. Bake at 350 until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the middle (make sure you’re not hitting a chip) comes out mostly clean. A little bit of loose crumbs is fine but it’s not done if it comes out gooey and/or liquidy. They took 45 minutes in my oven.
  8. For the frosting, mix all the frosting ingredients together and beat well for 2 to 3 minutes to make sure the malted milk powder is dissolved. this is a fairly thin frosting so if you want it thicker, make it while the brownies are cooking or cooling and refrigerate it to firm it up.
  9. Frost brownies and garnish with more malted milk balls.

Not the fanciest decorating job but I had a two year old who wanted to do it 😀

I Yam What I Yam

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Once upon a time, there was a large basket of potatoes. They were your standard potatoes; nothing special and they knew it. Buried down deep in the basket was one lone potato that nobody liked. He was….different. He was a funny orange color and not white, red or brown like they were. So they teased him a lot. He got called “orange eyes” and “sweet baby” and they would never let him play in any reindeer games until Santa Claus apologized to him. Wait. Scratch that. Wrong story. They would never let him play potato games. Every time they played “count the green spots” or “hide your eyes” they ignored him.

Why didn’t they like him though? Because he was special. He could do things that they couldn’t do. He also had a much higher vitamin k amount in him but being lovers of Cheetos and Twinkies, they didn’t care too much about that. Wait. Scratch that too. That’s me that is the Twinkie and Cheeto lover. My bad.

Moving on. They didn’t like him because they were stuck in the same old ruts and they knew it. Mashed, fried, baked, boiled. Mashed, fried, baked, boiled. YAWNNNNNNN.

But not Mr. Sweet Potato.  He was the only one in the basket capable of being made into the treat I am sharing with you today. Try taking a russet potato and frying it and then sprinkling it with cinnamon/sugar and dunking it in a warm bath of marshmallow brown sugar cream cheese dip. Not too appetizing huh? So one day Mr. Sweet Potato stood up and decided that he wasn’t going to take it any more. he was going to speak up. So he stood up (as well as any potato can stand up; he was kinda wobbly) and he cried out “Accept me for who I am!!! I YAM WHAT I YAM!!!”

Ok, so none of that really happened. But it seemed like a damn good lead in to today’s recipe. Today I made fried sweet potato chips coated in cinnamon sugar and served with a creamy sweet marshmallow cream cheese dip. Who doesn’t love chips and dips right? This is just putting a new, sweet and tasty spin on the idea. My daughter in law, who says she hates sweet potatoes, can’t stop eating these so I think that means they are a roaring success 😀 Give them a try. They would be a perfect dinner side dish, a late night snack, a great dish for a BBQ or a wonderful way to get kids to eat high in nutrients sweet potatoes. They are…wait for it… to die for. ARGHHHHH!!! No they aren’t. They aren’t. They aren’t!!! Shame on me for using that phrase!!! 😛

CINNAMON SUGAR SWEET POTATO CHIPS

WITH

A CREAMY BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON MARSHMALLOW DIP

  • 3 sweet potatoes, thinly sliced
  • vegetable or canola oil
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • FOR THE DIP-
  • 1 10 ounce bag Kraft Cinnamon Bun Marshmallows (can sub regular marshmallows; just add more cinnamon)
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 4 ounces cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 2/3 cups heavy cream
  1. In a large pot, heat about 2 inches of vegetable oil to 350 degrees.
  2. Fry the sweet potato slices, small batches at a time, until cooked, crispy and golden brown.
  3. For the dip, combine dip ingredients in a medium microwave safe bowl.
  4. Cook for 2 minutes on high. Stir to mix then cook in 30 second increments if needed, until smooth and creamy.
  5. As each batch of potatoes finishes, let cool for about 2 to 3 minutes, then shake in a bag with the sugar cinnamon mixture until well coated.
  6. Pour dip into a serving bowl and serve with chips.
  7. These don’t hold great. They are ok cold but as any fried potatoes do, they soften up and lose their crispness so you’re better off not making them far ahead of serving time 🙂

Blimey, That’s Limey!

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Key Lime Cheesecake Shake

Key Lime Cheesecake Shake

 

I know; not one of my better post titles. But darn it, I had to get the Lime part in there somewhere. I couldn’t just title it “Key Lime Cheesecake Shakes” now could I? How boring is that? Well, not the shake. The shake is… to use a phrase I completely hate… to die for.

Am I the only one that completely abhors that phrase btw? Seriously? You’re willing to die for it? If not, why say it? Just sayin’. I’d die for my kids, for my husband, for my God and for a few assorted friends. But a Key Lime Shake? Nahhhh. Ok, maybe. If it was THIS shake! I might also die for Cheetos and Twinkies but we all already know I have issues surrounding those two junk foods. I may die for a good steak or some sushi.

I think I’m gonna shut up now since I just buried all my reasons for disliking the phrase “to die for” Sigh. I need to learn when to be quiet and stick to my proverbial guns.

I will NOT die for liver though! Nope nope nope! Not gonna happen! See? I just proved that To Die For is a stupid phrase!!! Yay me!

Ummm, you’re waiting for a recipe aren’t you? I see you there… tapping your feet on the floor and telling me to shut up.  Be nice; I have six kids. I deserve patience. Or therapy. I haven’t figured out which. Hey! I had coffee today! I’m hyped on caffeine. Just please… don’t ask me what my excuse is every other day.

Fine, I’ll post the recipe. *shuffles feet, kicks the dirt and pouts then realizes that if I am kicking dirt sitting at my computer desk, I MAY want to vacuum*

KEY LIME CHEESECAKE SHAKE

With

“ADULT OPTIONS”

  • 3 cups good quality vanilla ice cream (half of 1 of those “I used to be half a gallon but am now only 1.5 quarts” containers)
  • 4 ounce cream cheese, softened & cubed (throw that bad boy in the microwave for 30 seconds even if it’s soft. You don’t want it hitting the ice cream and firming up any before it gets mixed)
  • 1/3 cup key lime juice (you can use regular Persian lime juice. this amount makes a nice tart drink. If you want more sweet than tart, cut the juice down to 1/4 cup)
  • zest from one small lime  plus more for garnish
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup milk or half and half (or you’re really feeling like being bad, use part heavy cream. I won’t tell.)
  • 2 tablespoons graham crackers crumbs, plus more for garnish
  • 2 shots lime vodka if making for adults (I say even if you don’t want to add the vodka, SAY you did when the kids ask. That makes a perfect excuse not to share 😀 )
  1. Dump everything in a blender. Blend. Drink. Make more. Drink. Make more. Maybe omit the vodka this batch so you don’t do something stupid like stick your fingers in the blender while it’s on because you want a taste. Not that I’VE ever done anything like that.
  2. Don’t you just love when I give you these oh so easy but “to die for” recipes? Please… do not die. I take no legal responsibility if you do. But if you plan to, leave me your cookbooks in your will. Thanks. 😛

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Have I Mentioned That I love Berries And Chocolate?

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I love them separately, I love them together. I do so love them on a plane, I would happily chow down on them on a train. I would eat them with a goat (but he better not try to get any) I would eat them near a moat. I will so eat them sam I am. I would eat them in a can. Ok, maybe not that last part but my rhyming skills are rusty.

Ok, now that my Dr. Seuss moment is over, I really do love berries. And chocolate. And berries and chocolate together. I look forward to Spring/Summer every year for one reason only since I hate the heat. I can get berries inexpensively (and corn on the cob but that’s another story.)

I wanted to make something with fruit for today (Memorial Day) but I just wasn’t up to something that took a lot of work or, since I wanted something my two year old (and grandkids) could eat, something that was too messy.

I decided to make a bar cookie with fresh Strawberries. Then the wonderful thought occurred to me to use chocolate too because I mean really, is there anything better than a chocolate covered strawberry? Except maybe chocolate and raspberries.

I ended up with a mildly sweet shortbread style crust with a juicy creamy chocolate covered strawberry center topped by crumbs and more chocolate. While my recipe is fairly different, I want to give a shout out to the lovely hostess of  Can You Stay For Dinner for the inspiration.

So if you want a nice bar cookie to take with to a BBQ tonight, this one will work for you. It would also be great as a weeknight (or weekend) dessert for your family or the best idea of all, just as one of those go hide in the closet and whimper pitifully if anyone comes near and tries to take them from you style sweets.

Enjoy!! Have a great Memorial Day!

CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRY BARS

  • CRUST-
  • 1 cup softened butter (2 sticks)
  • 2 cups flour
  • 2/3 cup powdered sugar
  • FILLING-
  • 1 lb container fresh strawberries, capped and thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup strawberry preserves (I actually ended up using a 1/4 cup strawberry and a 1/4 cup Raspberry but you can use what you like)
  • 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 12 ounce bag chocolate chips
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Lightly grease a 13×9 inch pan.
  3. Combine flour, butter and powdered sugar until you have pea sized crumbs.
  4. Pat 2 cups of the crumb mixture into the bottom of the greased pan. Set the rest aside.
  5. Bake the crust for ten minutes or until a very light golden brown around the edges.
  6. Meanwhile, gently fold your sliced strawberries together with the preserves.
  7. In a small bowl, mix half the bag of chocolate chips with the sweetened condensed milk and microwave on high in 30 seconds increments, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.
  8. Carefully spread the strawberry mixture on top of the hot crust. Then pour the chocolate/milk mix on top of the berries and spread. Sprinkle that with the reserved crumbs and the other half of the bag of chocolate chips.
  9. Bake at 350 for about 30 to 35 minutes or until the center is set.
  10. Let cool, preferably in the fridge for a couple of hours. But just letting it cool and attacking it works too.

 

Just An Old Fashioned Girl At Heart

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Until you surround it with juicy fruits and some pillowy whipped cream it can seem....

Although I’m sure if my kids had their way, they would delete the fashioned part and just say that I am old. But what do they know? What’s the old saying? Youth is wasted on the young. 😛 Let us old farts be young…or something like that. If I think of a way to put that logically, I’ll get back to you. Until then, I guess I’ll just stay old and feeble minded .

Seriously though, I really am an old fashioned girl. It took me forever to join the 20th century and get a cell phone because I thought they were silly. For the longest time, I only had a 20 pound Tracfone. You know the kind. You had to pull up the antennae to get it to work and even then it only worked on alternating Tuesdays in months with J in them. I still haven’t joined the 21st century when it comes to phones. My phone may be smaller now but it doesn’t have any bells or whistles. I can’t use it to go onliine, I can’t play games on it, I can barely make calls on it half the time. But hey, it’s not 20 pounds! I’m getting there!

I’m old fashioned in other ways too. Ways that make my teen boys still at home roll their eyes and give me the “but the other kids get to!” routine way more than is probably good for my eardrums. I limit TV watching, they aren’t allowed to watch anything over PG unless I’ve seen it myself or know from a reputable source that it’s ok. They are only allowed on the computer one hour one day a week and then an hour and a half each weekend day or vacation day. I’m so cruel. It makes me happy. 😀

I’m pretty old fashioned in many ways when it comes to food too. I absolutely love the recipes I find online from fellow bloggers or cooking sites or what have you and am constantly needing a bib to sop up the drool over so many of the desserts posted. But when it comes to cake, I’ve never been a big cake eater. My vice has always been more along the lines of ice cream. So unless I am craving gooey frosting like I was the other day with the Caramel Cupcakes I made and posted here, I prefer a simpler cake. One that always works for me is pound cake. You can do so much with it. It’s good warm, it’s good cold. It tastes great plain and it can be fancied up and made oh so fattening by adding creamy sauces and sugared fruits. You can change the flavoring in it and get an entirely different cake from the same recipe. Bottom line, pound cake is, in my opinion, the best all around cake when you want a cake but don’t want either a whole lot of trouble making it or something over the top rich and goopy. The one I am posting here has been my go to pound cake for about 15 years now. It has a fine tender crumb and a nice crispy crust; the quintessential pound cake assets. With the lemon flavor I post here, it is a mild sweet NOT tart lemon flavor. If you want more flavor just make a glaze of lemon juice and powdered sugar. So get to cooking!  I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. 🙂 This is also excellent with the almond extract variation. In some ways, I almost prefer that one; depends on my mood. 🙂

SOUR CREAM POUND CAKE

  • 2 3/4 cups sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 4 teaspoons lemon extract or 1 tablespoon Almond extract if you prefer an almond flavored cake (yes, you read that right. Four. If you’re not wanting lemon, just omit it and the zest and juice.)
  • 6 eggs
  • 3 cups all purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • zest of one lemon
  • juice of half a lemon (again, omit the zest and juice if you’re not wanting lemon)
  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Generously grease and flour a 12 cup bundt pan. Or spray with cooking spray that has both oil and flour.
  2. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.
  3. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add vanilla extract, lemon juice and other extracts, if using.
  4. Combine the flour, baking powder, salt and lemon zest in a small bowl.
  5. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture, alternating it with the sour cream. Beat well after each addition.
  6. Bake at 350 for 55 to 70 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. A few teenie tiny baby crumbs are ok, but no loose batter and if’s it’s dripping, you may want to make sure you turned the oven on. 😀
  7. Let cool in the pan for ten minutes then invert onto a serving plate. Serve cold, serve warm, bury your face in the plate, smear it on your toes… whatever works. I won’t judge. 😀

...pretty unassuming can't it? But don't be fooled.

Boredom Is REALLY The Mother Of Invention

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I think all the things we take for granted were discovered out of boredom, not out of necessity.  Did we NEED electricity? Nope. Did we NEED phones? Nope. Did we NEED cars? Nope. Did we need Twinkies and Cheetos? Ok, maybe we needed those. I do anyway. Life would be hell without my Cheeto fix. Dipped in hot sauce and/or blue cheese dressing. I know. Strange. But it’s good darn it!

Boredom works in cooking too. Buffalo chicken wings, brownies, Twinkies , God knows how many things came about because the creator was bored with cooking things the normal way and wanted something different.

Well, today I wanted something different. And while it won’t be as earth shaking as Twinkies or Cheetos cause I mean, really, can ANYTHING match those two, it turned out pretty yummy.

Years and years ago, I learned how to make a Caramel flan. I always got a kick out of how quickly the melted sugar would harden up. Yes, I realize I’m easily amused. But the transformation from a solid to a liquid back to a solid again, albeit one that tasted completely different, was strangely fascinating to me. So for the longest time I had been wanting to play around with caramelized sugar. Not caramel sauce though that ended up in this recipe too… just the sugar. But my worry was wasting a bunch of sugar and it not working.  A couple months ago one of my favorite bloggers, Culinary Concoctions By Peabody, did it with
These delicious cookies and since I now knew it could be done, I knew I would be trying it sooner or later.

Today was the day. But I didn’t want cookies. I wanted cupcakes with a creamy “OMG, how much sugar did you put in this” type of frosting. So I made a cupcake with the finely ground caramelized sugar. When you make this, be ready; the sugar doesn’t immediately dissolve into the butter the way regular sugar does. It clumps up. Just keep beating. You will still have some clumps after the batter is completely made but that’s actually ok. When the cupcakes are done, you will have these slightly dimpled cakes with small bits of caramelized sugar and those bits give a nice caramelly burst of flavor. The cupcakes themselves aren’t overly sweet but the frosting makes up for that 😛

If you have never worked with caramelized sugar before, be careful. This is dangerously hot when liquid and stays that way for a while.

CARAMEL CUPCAKES WITH A CARAMEL BUTTER CREAM

  • For the Caramelized Sugar-
  • 2 cups granulated white sugar
  • For the cupcake-
  • 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups finely ground caramelized sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • For the frosting-
  • 3/4 cup Smuckers Caramel Sundae Syrup
  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 4 cups powdered sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1) For the caramelized sugar, first, line a cookies sheet with foil and set aside. Then take the 2 cups sugar and pour into a heavy bottomed medium saucepan. Over medium heat and never leaving the stove, cook the sugar. When you start, it will start to lump up. That’s fine. It will smooth out as it melts. Stir every ten seconds or so to expose all the sugar to heat. When it starts to melt, just continually gently stir & turn your heat down to about 4. This isn’t a quick process but if you have the heat too high the only thing you’re going to end up with is a scorched pan and a really nasty smelly mess of burnt unusable sugar. When it is all melted and a nice golden brown color (be careful here. It can go from golden brown to burnt in a heartbeat), carefully pour it out onto the foil lined pan. Set it aside somewhere not reachable by small hands and let it cool.

2) Once it is cool, break it up into large chunks. Eat some :-P.  Save some for garnishing the cupcakes. Put the chunks into a food processor bowl and process until it is finely ground.

3) For the cupcakes- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 14 muffin cups. Or use cupcakes liners because you are smart and don’t want to have to scrub a muffin pan 😀 . In a small bowl, combine your flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.

4) Put your butter and sugar into a large bowl. Beat until well blended. Remember, it’s going to look clumpy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each one. Add the extracts.

5) Add half the flour mixture, beat well, then add in half the milk. Repeat.

6)Pour the batter into the lined cupcake pan.

7) Bake at 350 for 19 to 21 minutes or until the top is firm and a nice golden brown. Let cool in the pan that is set over a wire rack for five minutes then take out and let cool thoroughly on a wire rack.

8)For the frosting- Beat  butter and caramel syrup (I wanted to use the ground caramelized sugar in here too but I realized that it wouldn’t work after I saw the way it clumps since it can’t bake back out in frosting.) until creamy. Add in the vanilla and the powdered sugar and beat until thick and creamy. Spoon or pipe onto the cupcakes. Garnish with the slivers of hard sugar you held back and more caramel syrup.

 

 

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