Don’t Mess With My Hydrogenated Oils, Man!

 

I was feeling nostalgic today and remembering the good old days. You see, I’m an old fart compared to many of you. Quite possibly I could have been your mother. Oh my, I did NOT say that out loud did I? I was lying. I’m really only 29 and just have premature wrinkles and I color my hair gray on purpose. Ok, that’s a lie too. I really AM 46 (47 in August) but to my credit, I am a vampire who hates the sun (well, the hating the sun part is true anyway. I’m full of lies today ehh? 😛 ) and I don’t have a whole lot of wrinkles. There’s my motherly advice for today. Take care of your skin. We won’t discuss the gray hair part. Let’s just say that I love the word Loreal and leave it at that.

Moving on… I say that a lot don’t I? Can’t imagine why. Moving on (see? I said it again. I wonder how many times I can fit those words into one post.)… I was feeling nostalgic for things that were a part of my long ago past. NO, not dinosaurs and stone tablets… don’t be smart! I was feeling nostalgic for beef fat. Now haven’t I told you before that your face is going to freeze like that? Stop it right now or I’ll give you something to make faces over!

Back in the day, when you went to someplace like say McDonalds and ordered fries they were cooked in beef fat. They were also delicious and it was very easy to eat 15 packages of them in five minutes. It was also very hard to get a hold of an ambulance when you had a heart attack before your arteries were clogged with beef fat. But as you died, you could lick your lips and say “my, that was yummy! MEDIC!”

They also had pies. Not that crap they sell now and call pies. These weren’t baked. They were deep fried in pure fat, mannnnn! And O…M…G… they were good. Te outside got all bubbly and crisp and the inside..well, the inside made it up to approximately 3000 degrees and many people had to have tongue transplants because of it. If you ever run into someone with out a tongue who is past a certain age, if they could talk and tell you, they’d say it was due to a fried pie.

Damnnnnnnn, did I wander today. But you’re used to that by now right? What was I saying? Oh yeah, moving on (giggles*), I LIKE my fats. I LIKE my hydrogenated oils. they may kill me, but I’ll die of eating crispy goodness like this fried pie. These are so simple and very tasty. they come from dear old (and she IS heading towards old 😛 ) Paula Deen. I mean, it’s fried; you were expecting it to be from “Hungry Girl”? If Ms. Deen could have found a way to fit a few sticks of butter in this, I’m sure she would have. But barring that, she DID manage to stuff some pie crust with apples, sugar, cinnamon and butter and then deep fry it. I added the glaze to these myself because I wanted a glazed apple fritter effect. Try them. You must. For me and my nostalgia. Because you love me. 😀

Mini Fried Apple Pies

  • 1 4.5 to 5 ounce package dried apples
  • 2 cups water
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1/2 to 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 15 ounce package premade rolled pie crusts
  • 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil (more if needed to get an inch of oil in pot)
  • GLAZE-
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • enough apple juice to make a thin glaze
  1. Cook the apples in the water over medium low heat for about one hour or until water is cooked out and apples are tender.
  2. Add the butter, sugar and cinnamon and mix well. Let cool.
  3. Meanwhile, unroll your pie crust and using either a big biscuit cutter (or a glass like I did because my biggest biscuit cutter was still too small) cut rounds out of each pie crust. I got 7 from each with scraps that I was too lazy to reroll.
  4. Heat oil to 350.
  5. Place one tablespoon on each round. Moisten edge of the rounds with water then fold over to enclose filling. Seal well so they don’t pop open in the oil. Don’t ask me how I know that that can happen. I must have read it somewhere. Yeah, that’s it.
  6. Fry 3 to 4 pies at a time in the hot oil for about 2 minutes or until golden brown. Lay on a paper towel lines cookie sheet while you make glaze.
  7. Mix the powdered sugar with enough apple juice to make a thin glaze.  Dip each pie into the glaze and thoroughly coat it.
  8. Eat one. Then eat another. Then another. Erhmmm… moving on. HEH! I got it in one more time!


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32 thoughts on “Don’t Mess With My Hydrogenated Oils, Man!

  1. ::sigh:: I remember the days of McD’s fries done in animal fat before the vegetarians had a cow (pun intended) and made them change. Those were the best. I also remember the apple pies and you’re right. They were very different than the cardboard stuff they serve today.

    Thank you for the walk down memory lane and for these beauts from Paula. They look fantastic and I think the glaze is a perfect addition.

  2. Mmmmm… beef fat…
    There is a local group from which I am planning on taking a lard rendering course later this year (I missed the one that was offered this spring). If all goes well, I’ll start using that in some recipes. Studies lately regarding saturated/trans/misc. fat in lard are… well, fascinating.
    Thanks for the recipe – I love “Aunt” Paula! They look delicious (do you need a taste tester???????).
    http://decadentphilistines.blogspot.com

    • Ooo, I’ll be looking forward to seeing the recipes for that and would love to hear about the class.

      I’d say yes on the taste tester if it weren’t for the fact that my piggy family finished them off lol. I got ONE.

  3. You definitely couldn’t be my mother. I’m even older than you are.
    I’ve never tried making pie, or even mini fried ones, but I did make mine ones in one of those little sandwich grills. Kinda cute, even cut it in to triangles as it cooked.

    • You’re older than me? WOOHOO!!! I mean…erhm… I didn’t know that.

      I used to have one of those sandwich grills. I loved the sandwiches it made but I hated cleaning the son of a biscuit and trying to get gunk out of the lil’ decorative crevices. I eventually threw it out when it became a public health hazard

      • Mine didn’t have much in the way of decorative bits. All it did was toast and squish. The size matched the cheap bread – you know, square slices – and cut it in half diagonally. I bought it for my son so he could make his own grilled cheese before he was big enough for the stove and real cooking.

    • Why thank you Hester 🙂 And yeah, I worked at McDonalds many moons ago and I worked the McNugget/Pie station for a while (this was just after nuggets had come out if that tells you how long ago lol) and I LOVED those things…. deep fried death 😀

  4. I can feel my arteries hardening just reading the recipe. That said, I reluctantly agree. My Southern gramma would be proud to know that I keep lard in the house specifically for pies and to poison vegetables.

  5. I see the past tense in the first comment. With that big plate of them I would have thought there was some left for sharing. I guess that speaks for itself. Yum!
    Regarding your age-tell everyone that you are as young as the breeze and old as the mountains-that will confuse them.

    • Hi Alisa:-) And isn’t that the truth…. fried crust fill with fruit… what could be better 😀 Now slow your heart rate and go make some hehe

  6. They look delicious! I’d have to omit the cinnamon….allergies! BTW – you and I are a month apart in age! Nice to have us “seasoned” chicks stick together!

  7. Those look scrumptious. I wonder if I could make them from apple pie filling instead of dried apples… maybe add a little nutmeg, cloves and a maple glaze. And you could only be my mother if you were pregnant at 13.

    • You could definitely use apple pie filling. I plan on the next batch I make using cherry pie filling
      And nope, no babies for me at 13 lol. First was when I was 21

  8. Yeah Mickey D’s isn’t what it used to be. Those pies and fries were delicious. I’ll try your version, but I’m only trying it for you! (As I cough and clear my throat)

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