This Has Not A Darn Thing To Do With The Recipe :-P

These are thick & fudgy & oh so chewy with frosting that isn't too sweet. Oh my....

 

But it’s a funny story and I wanted to share it. Why? Because I am not in possession of working brain cells today and I couldn’t think of a story that would segue into Malted Milk Ball Brownies easily 😛 .

I wrote this years back. Yes… it’s true 😀

Who needs fillings? I have glue!

Last night I was, well, rather buzzed. Ok ok I was pretty well blitzed. Well, I have some herbal supplement drops I take every day. At about 9pm, I drunkenly realized I hadn’t taken then yet. In a fit of alcohol induced responsibility to my body, I went to go take them.

Just like most people, I can walk through my home in the dark with no problem. I know the path; I do it often. So when I went to get the drops out of my purse, I didn’t bother with a light. I grabbed my purse off the bathroom floor and got the drops out by feel. Or so I thought. I shook the bottle feeling like such a good girl that I was remembering to take them, hiccuped a few times, then experimentally shook the bottle. Then shook it again because I was SURE I had had more than that in there.

But, being the drunken fool that I was, I just assumed I had used more than I thought so I opened the bottle and tipped it up over my mouth. Not much was coming out so I squeezed harder… then harder. Suddenly some spark ignited in a few sober cells in my brain and I turned on the light and looked at the bottle. I had just squirted a half a bottle of Nail Glue (Super Glue) in my mouth.

“OMG… ACKKKKK… I’m gonna glue my tongue to my teeth!!!”, I screamed as I turned the water as hot as it would go after flinging the culprit glue behind me. I started gulping hot water trying to dissolve the glue before it glued my wiggly thingy in my throat to my tongue or something. Yes, I know it’s called a Uvula but wiggly thingy is more fun. I grabbed my toothbrush and practically killed myself trying to brush my Esophagus and stomach lining. Screw my glue coated teeth. I had visions of my throat sticking to itself and dying on my bathroom floor with my uvula stuck to my tongue. I had no intention of the legacy I left my kids being a headline on the 11 o clock news saying “A local woman died tonight after she drank super glue and her wiggly thingy got attached to her esophagus and she choked to death.”

After I calmed down and realized I wasn’t going to die of glue poisoning or a glued throat, I started laughing. Only in MY life could this happen. Never again will I look for ANYTHING when I’m buzzed.

My teeth feel funny. How do you get super glue off your teeth???

On that note, today I made brownies for you. Not just any brownies though; these are stuffed with chocolate chips and many many chunky pieces of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls. then to add insult to high blood sugar injury, I added a thick creamy malted milk buttercream and garnished it with more Whoppers. Now unless you have the sugar tolerance of say… a five year old (I.E. could eat a full five pound bag of sugar with no problem and ask for more) cut these small. They are rich… they are sweet… they are darned awesome if I do say so myself. Enjoy! 🙂 These are loosely adapted from a Cooks Illustrated brownie recipe.

Malted Milk Ball Brownies

With

A Malted Milk Butter Cream Frosting

  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup chocolate flavored malted milk powder (find with the nestles quik and hot cocoa mixes and such)
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons boiling water
  • 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
  • 1/2 stick (1/4 cup) melted butter
  • 2/3 cup oil
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour (am I the only one who calls it “all porpoise flour? Ummm…don’t answer that)
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips (use good quality ones)
  • 2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely crushed (leave the chunks decent sized; you want to bite into the brownies and get some nice flavor from the chunks of candy 🙂  )
  • FOR THE FROSTING- (we’re making this easy {but still delicious} today)
  • 1 can butter cream frosting
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  • 2/3 cups malted milk powder
  • malted milk balls for garnish
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil and spray lightly with cooking spray.
  3. Whisk together the cocoa, malted milk powder and boiling water.
  4. Add the unsweetened chocolate and whisk well until the chocolate is melted.
  5. Whisk in the melted butter and oil then the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla. Whisk in the sugar. Stir in the flour and salt.
  6. Fold in the chocolate chips and crushed malted milk balls.
  7. Bake at 350 until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the middle (make sure you’re not hitting a chip) comes out mostly clean. A little bit of loose crumbs is fine but it’s not done if it comes out gooey and/or liquidy. They took 45 minutes in my oven.
  8. For the frosting, mix all the frosting ingredients together and beat well for 2 to 3 minutes to make sure the malted milk powder is dissolved. this is a fairly thin frosting so if you want it thicker, make it while the brownies are cooking or cooling and refrigerate it to firm it up.
  9. Frost brownies and garnish with more malted milk balls.

Not the fanciest decorating job but I had a two year old who wanted to do it 😀

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49 thoughts on “This Has Not A Darn Thing To Do With The Recipe :-P

  1. That is a funny story-and people make fun of me because I stare at my food before every bite. I just want to make sure it does not change since my last bite-that is how people eat foreign things! The brownies look delicious! Great tasty pic-buzzed it

    • Tina, I don’t stare at my food but I definitely have my quirks too. Food can’t touch and I have to eat one thing at a time, finish it and then move on -P
      Thanks for the compliment and thanks for the buzz 🙂

  2. Okay Janet, this tops my pickle juice/laptop incident from yesterday!! I think we can all learn a lesson from this. The brownies look absolutely amazing!!!

  3. So, um, what a great diet plan eating super glue might be, eh? Geez, girl, you got lucky. I’ve glued my fingers together before and it was horrible. I can’t imagine having that gunk in my mouth.

    The only positive thing would be eating something like those brownies right afterwards and having it get stuck in your mouth so you had to keep tasting them. It works in theory at least.

  4. I think the “no looking for anything while drunk” is the best plan ever. I’m not sure how you’d get it off your teeth either. And I don’t want to know what it tastes like.

    I do want one of those brownies though. I’d be in serious danger with a whole pan of them in my house.

    • Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Lol.
      As for the brownies, I have managed to only have ONE bite from one thus far so that I could describe them but they are calling my name loudly. This is why I give most of what I make to the neighbors ;-D

    • Thanks Erin. Though when it comes to the glue, I am sure there are many who would be thrilled had my mouth gotten glued shut 😀

  5. Oh my gosh that story is hilarious! I’m so glad you shared it- I almost fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Hopefully those brownies took care of the glue on your teeth because they look and sound absolutely dreamy!

  6. These have my name written all over them; I love malted milk balls. I almost felt bad laughing at your story – thank goodness you only got a bit in your teeth!

  7. One of my favorite candies of all times. These look great! I love malted milkshakes too, maybe I can wash a brownie down with one (now that’s a sugar high). As for your drunken display…I couldn’t help but laughing and thinking of that show 100 Ways To Die (on Spike TV)- this would have made the cut for sure. I had a monkey glue experience…didn’t realize the stuff expanded and as I glued a table back together got it all over my hands…couldn’t pry fingers apart for days…couldn’t even dial up the 800 help line. Happy you survived the experience and were able to post this great brownie recipe 🙂

    • I think I just went into a sugar coma thinking about a shake with these brownies hehe
      I had to giggle over the image of you trying to dial the phone with your fingers glued together lol

  8. That story is hilarious!! I would have freaked out too and thought that my throat would glue shut!! Well I’m glad that nothing terrible happened and that you were able to make an share these brownies with us! I love malted milk balls, so this is right up my ally. They sound amazing!

    • I think I peeked down my throat five million times in the days after just to make sure everything was ok 😛
      Thanks for the compliment on the recipe 🙂

  9. Gosh, that was so funny. It was good that you panicked cause if you were calm you would close your mouth, probably for good. Lovely brownies. Sweet and sticky is good for masking the feel of super glue on your teeth.

  10. I’m giving you a virtual high 5 for sharing this gut busting story. I don’t know if I would’ve had the nerve. Thank you for making my sides hurt from laughing and for the sugar high I got looking at your pictures. You’re the man, er woman!

  11. You really crack me up! A friend of mine experienced something like this. After a party we attended, some of my friends stopped by to have some coffee, one of them was really wasted, but he somehow managed to stand up and said he wanted to make the coffee. Next thing you know he was cursing and washing his mouth.turns out he scooped iodized salt instead of sugar in his cup. It was really funny. And just like that he was sober 🙂

    • Ahhh, just what my hammish ego loves to hear; that I made someone laugh 😛
      I would have loved to have seen that with your friend lol. My kids tried to do that to me (salt instead of sugar in the cup) one April Fools day. I ruined their fun though by taking a drink and managing not to make a face and then saying that this was the best tea I had ever had

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