Product Of My Generation

Chilled Lemon Dill Tuna Macaroni Salad

There are times when I know that I’m a dinosaur in the foodie world. I don’t always cook light and healthy, I’m not vegan, I don’t cook gluten free and I’m not out to reinvent the wheel cooking wise. And while I admire those who do all of those things, I kinda like it that way 😀 I am, as the titles says, a product of my generation. I was born in 1964, which by some lists makes me born in the last year of the Baby Boomers. It was back when women’s rights was still a fledgling moment, back when Civil Rights was (unfortunately) still not something that everybody liked. It was also back in the days when Vietnam was a country very few people had heard of. In 1964, there were really no hippies. There were “Beatniks”. The famed Jack Kerouac (much loved by said Beatniks as well as the hippies to come) was near both the end of his career and the end of his life. The Beatles were in the middle of their first world tour and on the day of my birth, The Kinks released the song “You Really Got Me”.  The St. Louis Cardinals won the world series and everyone watched it in black and white on TV’s that had long “Rabbit Ears” attached to the back of them.

People also ate differently back then. With exceptions, it was still the time period of mom stayed home and cooked three meals a day plus snacks and dad went to work. People were just starting to eat lighter but for the most part, creamy, heavy, fried, calorie laden foods were the norm. Jello salads were still all the rage and dad manned the bbq grill on the weekends while mom made the side dishes. No one would ever think of making either potato salad or pasta (macaroni) salad without a few gallons of mayo thrown in and approximately 500 calories per half cup serving. Dad would drink a Pabst Blue Ribbon with dinner and mom would clean up afterwards.

In other words, I really AM a product of my generation since we all know what I love to cook for this blog. Creamy, heavy, fried and calorie laden and Lord above knows I love my mayo.

But at times, even I try to lighten things up. At least a little bit. Like I’ve said before, if I actually ate much of many of the things I make on here, Paula Deen would be sharing her diabetes medication with me and I would have to be lifted with a crane. Everything in moderation right? It sucks but it’s one of those sad facts of life that if you eat 14 Twinkies in a row, you WILL regret it. And if you eat a tub of the typical pasta salad, you WILL end up with no room in your arteries for the blood to flow.

So give this one a try. It makes a great meal on it’s own, a tasty side dish (you can even omit the tuna if you want though I personally love it that way) and while I won’t claim that this is health food, it definitely doesn’t have a gallon of mayo in it. I’ve lightened it up with Greek yogurt and added flavor with lemon juice and zest as well as a boatload of fresh (and dried) dill weed. Also, this makes enough for a pot luck or a good amount of people so feel free to cut in half. Remember when you see the amounts of mayo and such, that this is for 12 ounces (uncooked) of pasta. Not as much as it seems and when the salad sits in the fridge for a while, it will soak up a good amount and you may need to add more at serving time if it seems too dry.

Chilled Lemon Dill Tuna Pasta Salad

  • 12 ounces elbow macaroni, cooked according to direction
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 2/3 cup chopped celery
  • 1/2 cup chopped green onion
  • 1/2 cup chopped red onion
  • 1 carrot, grated (can use more but I don’t like carrots very much)
  • 1/2 cup chopped green pepper
  • 2 teaspoons jarred pickled jalapenos (optional)
  • 1/3 cup sweet pickle relish
  • 1 cup (give or take) good quality mayo (preferably home made)
  • 1 cup good quality Greek yogurt
  • 1/2 cup Miracle Whip (if you hate Miracle Whip, use more mayo instead
  • 1 cup finely chopped fresh Dill weed
  • 1 teaspoon dried Dill weed (can up the dried to 2 tablespoons if you don’t have fresh)
  • zest of one large lemon
  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
  • 2 or 3(depends on how meaty you like it) 6 ounce cans GOOD tuna (NOT the stuff that looks like cat food. You want chunks, not mush), drained
  • salt and pepper to taste
  1. Cook your pasta according to package directions, adding the two teaspoons salt to the cooking water.
  2. While it cooks, combine the rest of your ingredients, except for the tuna, in a large non metal bowl. Stir well. Taste for seasoning and add more dill, salt and pepper if needed. I also usually end up adding more pickle relish because I am sadly addicted to the stuff. For the most part, the ingredient amounts in here are just guidelines. You may like more carrot, less green pepper, dill relish…etc etc
  3. Drain the pasta very well. You can even go so far as to pour it onto a cookie sheet and pat it dry with a paper towel.
  4. Add the pasta to the bowl of creamy ingredients and mix well. Let cool until just warm, about 10 minutes or so.
  5. Gently fold in the tuna.
  6. Chill. Serve.


Once Upon A Time… (Homemade Caramel Sauce)

Home Made Caramel Sauce (Easier than you think. Honest!)

…I thought candy that came in a bag was the be all and end all of yumminess. I thought that Hershey bars were divine,  Lemon Heads were the best dessert ever (ok, I still love lemon heads. I admit it) and Kraft Caramels were the tastiest thing since…since…since…I dunno what, but I loved them. Mind you, don’t get me wrong. I still think there is a time and a place for all of those things. Hershey Bars are a wonderful late night “I’m reading a book and lazing in bed; leave me alone” treat, Lemon heads are…well…awesome any time of day or night and Kraft Caramels, while I no longer eat them plain, are good in a handful of dessert applications and great for give away on Halloween.

Then as I got more into cooking as I aged, I found a caramel sauce recipe that was simple and to the point. It was brown sugar, butter and cream. it was good and I used it for years.

That said however, there came a time when I wanted to expand my cooking knowledge and I got brave enough to try to make homemade caramels and caramel sauce (I was desperate for a caramel sundae) . I have never looked back since that day. And for those of you thinking “I could never make REAL caramel” I say only this. Yes. You can. If you have an IQ higher than that of the average eggplant (thus excluding my neighbor from this endeavor) and aren’t totally careless when it comes to cooking (you DO need to pay attention or you could end up very badly burned), you can make it. Don’t let “OMG, it’s cooked sugar and I’ve heard it can kill you if it touches you, it’s so hot!” scare you. I repeat…it’s not hard. I’m even going to include a few pictures so you can see what it should look like (approximately) at certain points in the cooking process.

So come on. Go get out a sturdy pot, some water, sugar, butter, vanilla and some heavy cream. That’s it. That’s all you need. No thermometer. No haz-mat suit. No extra fire insurance. Another reason you need to make this beyond it’s wonderful to eat straight off of the spoon? Because we will be using this later in some pretty darn awesome recipes. So shoo… go, young grasshopper and get sugar.

This makes 2 pint jars of sauce. Go ahead and make the full batch. I promise you; it will get used. And it will keep stored in the fridge for about 3 months.

Home Made Caramel Sauce

  • 2 cups water
  • 3 tablespoons corn syrup
  • 4 cups sugar
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  1. Pour the water and corn syrup into a large heavy bottomed pot. Yeah, that one you use to boil pasta in will do. When the cream is added to this, it is going to bubble furiously. You need a LARGE pot. I can not stress that enough.
  2. Pour the sugar into the middle of the pan, trying not to let it touch the sides any more than necessary.  Don’t stir it. No really. Don’t.
  3. Heat on medium high until the sugar has dissolved then turn the heat to high. You’re going to cook the sugar water mixture until it turns a wonderful shade of golden brown. It will take somewhere around 25 to 30 minutes. Also, it smells like toasting marshmallows as it cooks. Pretty yummy smelling lol.

    Sugar/water at 16 minutes cook time

  4. Again, as this cooks, don’t stir. It can cause sugar crystals to form/get into the mixture and leave you with a grainy end product.
  5. Meanwhile, while this cooks, combine your cream, vanilla and butter in a large measuring cup or spouted bowl.
  6. Heat in the microwave until it is hot but not boiling (the butter should be leaving a nice film on top but shouldn’t be fully melted). Set on the counter within reach of the pot.

    sugar/water at 23 minutes. Almost ready to add cream

  7. When mixture is golden brown, whisk in the cream mixture. It is going to bubble and sputter and scare the crap out of you. Even after having done this many times, it still makes my heart race when I add the cream cause of the reaction of the cream in the sugar. Just continue to slowly pour and whisk (if you have someone who can pour while you whisk, even better.

    Caramel sauce after the cream has been added. This is bubbling like it wants to escape the pot 😛

  8. Boil for about 2 minutes more. It will seem thin, but will thicken up appreciably when cold. Don’t keep cooking or you will end up with caramels, not caramel sauce. Not that this is a bad thing. If by chance you do (you’ll know if you go to get some out of the fridge and it’s solid instead of just very thick) you have 2 choices. You can just heat it every time you need to use it or you can heat it once, pour it into a heavily buttered 9 inch square pan, let it become about half firm in the fridge, cut it, then finish cooling it. Then you have some completely delicious caramels that you can eat as is, dip in chocolate, whatever.
  9. Let mixture come to room temp in the pan, then pour into jars and store in the fridge. I use pint canning jars.
  10. This is amazing on vanilla ice cream, in yogurt, over berries, in recipes calling for store caramel sauce or just off a spoon as a treat. Try it once; see how easy this is. You will never buy that unnamed brand of caramel sauce again.

    Really; it was an accident that so much got left in the pot. But then I couldn’t waste it now could I?




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But Yet I Love Him Anyway

Baked Garlic Parmesan Wings

I love my husband dearly. He is the most wonderful man on Earth in my eyes. He is gentle, kind, loving, funny, has a level of intelligence that puts me to shame and is damned cute too.

Yet, if the Lord had wanted to pick someone more different than myself in the area of food tastes, he couldn’t have found such a man.

I love mushrooms. He says “Ick. Fungus.”

I love sushi. His fish better be baked or fried and with the rice on the side with gravy.

I love milk chocolate. He doesn’t much like sweets (so he says…until I bake) but his chocolate needs to be dark, preferably with orange.

I love steak. He prefers chicken or a hamburger.

I want my hamburger medium rare. His has to be no less than medium well.

I love brussell sprouts and hate carrots. He hates brussell sprouts and loves carrots.

I like ribs. He hates them.

I love fruit and veggies. Other than canned vegetables, getting him to eat fresh fruits or veggies is nigh near impossible.

Years of motherhood and never getting a hot meal has made me almost prefer room temp food. His food must be hot enough to scorch off your taste buds.

But the worst…. the absolute worst (well, other than the not liking sweets thing. That one is hard to handle.) is that my husband, my best friend, the man I will spend eternity with, will not eat chicken wings. Not even one bite. Says there isn’t enough meat on them. I’ve tried to show him the error of his ways with plump juicy wings but he still won’t try them.

Not even these wings I made tonight. Crispy, buttery, redolent of garlic and Parmesan cheese. Simple, easy, yet filled with flavor.


Yet I love him anyway. In spite of these major flaws. Go figure. (Love you darlin’!! <3 )

So please. Make me happy. Make these wings. Eat them. Drip buttery garlicky goodness on yourself. And pity my husband. And pity me… knowing that I had to eat more wings than was good for me due to my husbands stubbornness and poor poor food choices. Sad. So so sad.

*Wipes grease from chin and sobs a garlic scented sob* Continue reading

Dem Bones

Zesty Sticky Thai Spareribs

I’ve never been a sun worshiper. I was always content with (ok, slightly vain of)  my very pale, snow white, not too wrinkled complexion. When I was a kid, the trend was to rub baby oil on yourself and go outside and quite literally fry your skin to reach a skin tone that hopefully wasn’t lobster red but nice and golden brown. Few succeeded but they all kept trying anyway, burn after burn after burn. About the only time in my life I’ve ever had a tan instead of the burn I usually get after 32 seconds exposed to sunlight…just call me Vampirilla was when I was a little kid and always outside and when I lived in Houston for a year and swam every day. Sun bathing as a hobby never interested me. My tans were EARNED… either playing or swimming

Now at 47, relatively wrinkle free (I usually get guessed as being late 30’s, early 40’s due to lack of sun damage and I love it lol), things seem to have changed. Hello wrinkles here I come! As many of you know, we moved late last year. The home we bought sits on ten acres of land and we have a pool. Not a huge Olympic in ground pool, but a pool nonetheless. Well, part of having ten acres means upkeep. I mow a large portion with the push mower every week (my husband does the larger portion on the riding mower) plus we now have a huge garden to take care of. Add in pool maintenance (being in the pool floating on a floatie counts as maintenance. Really. I’m…er….making sure there are no bugs in the pool) and other out doors things and I have found myself outdoors a LOT. For a while I burned every time but now I have a rather respectable tan.

Beyond all of that however, I’ve come to realize that the sun has this weird thing called heat. And that this heat, for a woman who has suffered from arthritis since in my 20’s (virus gone awry, settled in my joints) feels damn good on my old middle aged bones. So I find myself spending more time outside for that reason and in the process accumulating more wrinkles tan. I haven’t been this tan since I was 13. But heat is good. Bones like heat. Yes, yes they do. Precious precious heat. My precious.

Sorry. I was having a very warped Lord Of The Rings moment there. GEEK ALERT!

Bones really do like heat however. Not just mine; all bones. Look at the photo above. Don’t those bones look like they enjoyed the heat to you? If not, I can tell you that we certainly enjoyed what the heat DID to said bones hehe. I had 2 racks of spareribs I was making (my daughter & her family were coming over) and wanted to do something different with each rack. You’ve probably noticed by now that when I make pork, I tend to go for Asian flavors a lot of the time. They and pork just go so well together. I used a Thai Seasoning blend from my favorite spice company, The Spice Hunter . That mixed with other ingredients for a spice rub then a few times glazing it with a fantastic (if I do say so myself) thick and spicy sauce made these out of this world.

So as I always say… give these a try. You won’t be disappointed. Also, yes these are made in the oven. I wasn’t in the mood to die of heatstroke using the grill when I could be floating in the pool 😛 Nor are they cooked in the crockpot (I don’t care for them that way as they get too soft) nor are they covered and cooked for 50 hours at 10 degrees (same reason). They are cooked at a reasonable temp for a fairly small amount of hours compared to many recipes and they turn out tender as can be, yet still slightly crispy. Best way next to grilling. Trust me.

Sticky Zesty Thai Seasoned Glazed Spareribs

  • 1 5 lb (approximate) rack of spareribs
  • Spice rub-
  • 4 tablespoons Spice Hunter Thai Seasoning Blend
  • 2 teaspoons garlic powder
  • 2 teaspoons onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon curry powder
  • 1 teaspoon finely crushed anise seeds
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1 tablespoon seasoned salt (preferably a low sodium version)
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • Sauce-
  • 1/2 cup ketchup (this is more just for a touch of flavor & to have a base to start from)
  • 1/4 cup soy sauce (again; preferably low sodium)
  • 2 heaping tablespoons red curry paste
  • 1 cup apricot preserves
  • 2 tablespoons sriracha sauce (amount optional but at least use SOME or I’ll cry)
  • 1/4 cup sweet Thai chili sauce (use your favorite brand)
  • 3 tablespoons hoisin sauce
  • 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
  • 3 tablespoons plum sauce
  • zest and juice of one lime
  • zest and juice of one orange
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a large baking pan with heavy duty foil….more than once. Again; trust me. Nothing worse than trying to clean a pan with stuck on sauce of any kind.
  2. Lay the ribs down flat in the pan. In a small bowl, combine all the rub ingredients. Sprinkle them evenly over the ribs. Rub them in well into the surface of the meat. Let stand for at least 15 to 30 minutes.  (unless it is unbearably hot in your house. Refrigerate them if so).
  3. Bake at 350 for about 1.5 to 2 hours or until a fork/knife/spork/large sword/stuck into the meat shows that they are tender but not quite done. You should be able to pull on the meat and it come apart but you don’t want it falling off of the bones. This isn’t a pot roast.
  4. While they are baking, in a large pot, combine all of your sauce ingredients except for the orange zest and lime zest. Zests have better flavor if added at the end of cooking in a food like this.
  5. Bring to a gentle boil over medium high heat, stirring constantly. When it comes to a boil, reduce heat to medium low and let simmer for about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. Add in the zest and stir. Turn off the heat and set aside. Reserve some of the glaze (about a cup) to use as dipping sauce later.
  6. When ribs are tender, glaze with the sauce. Turn heat down to 325 degrees. Cook for 15 minutes, then glaze again. Do this two more times for a total of 4 times glazing and another hour cooking.
  7. Take the ribs out and let rest for about 10 minutes before cutting. Serve with the reserved glaze.
  8. Make sure you have lots of napkins

Please Keep The Blue Box Away From Me

Caramelized Onion & Bacon Mac & Cheese


My kids are pretty normal kids when it comes to food tastes. Normal as in they prefer simple foods like hot dogs that have ketchup and mustard on them and nothing else. Whereas when I eat a hot dog, that bad boy better be covered in onions, sauerkraut, relish, cheese, ketchup and spicy mustard. Plus, it had better be Oscar Mayer or Nathans, not “Joes Brand Hot Dogs.,..made with all beef lips”. They like ice cream, but are perfectly content eating the container of vanilla I bought last year and forgot about, that has now gotten horribly freezer burned (“there isn’t anything wrong with this ice cream, momma”). When I eat ice cream, it usually has some weird name and bigger price tag as well as a much higher fat content 😛

It’s the same with mac and cheese. My boys (and sadly, my husband too hehe) are perfectly content with mac and cheese from the little blue box. Or even worse, from a box that has the store brand name on it and is made with something that may or may not have had intimate relations with real cheese about 15 generations back. On the days when I don’t feel like cooking, boxed mac and cheese and hot dogs is considered a wonderful, gourmet meal. Obviously, none of my kids are going to grow up and try to emulate James Beard. Though, in their defense, my three older and moved out kids all seem to have inherited my “cooking gene” and love to cook as well as experiment with food that goes beyond beef lip hot dogs.

So last night, when I made the following mac and cheese, I knew that the adults would like it (my daughter and her family were over) as well as my 2 year old grandson Lukas (Lukie… hey, we’re in the south. If a name can be changed and made to end in “ie”, we’ll do it). He will eat anything. I try to put the cats up when he is visiting… and cardboard…and his uncles…and…well, you get the point. He is the rare child who isn’t picky. The reactions were about what I expected, especially from Zachie (see?) my 15 year old. “Ewwww, I might have eaten it if you hadn’t put those onion “things” in there.” From Jordan (hard to put an “ie” on the end of his) “Whet ate the brown things in there, momma?”. From Joshie, “I don’ wanna eat, momma”. Gee, never would have guessed that was coming *rolls eyes*. From Lukie, <insert gobbling, slurping noises here>.

Personally, I thought it was pretty darn tasty and I will definitely be having leftovers tonight for my own dinner. So what was this, you ask? Well, it wasn’t blue box, that’s for sure. I made a wonderful creamy cheese sauce and mixed in a good amount of caramelized onions and enough bacon that our arteries are probably still screaming in pain even now. This was rich and creamy without being overwhelmingly so. The onions added a nice caramelized nutty sort of flavor and the bacon mixed with the cheese sauce and the macaroni was just heaven on a spoon. Yes, I used a spoon, not a fork. I didn’t want to miss any of the sauce.

You really need to try this. The sauce whips up quickly and is based on one I found on Martha Stewart’s web site and with no powdered cheese in sight. Tender pasta, creamy gooey cheese, meaty bacon and nicely browned onions. I mean really… what more do you need? Except maybe ice cream with a high fat content for dessert. Continue reading

This Little Piggie Went To Market

Sesame Ginger Garlic Pork Loin Chops (Ignore that toddler finger in the photo lol)

This little piggie went into my tummy.

When I was a kid, my imagination was just as active as it is now. And no, my parents never put me into much needed therapy hehe. But when I would hear that old rhyme, I always imagined piggies, dressed in cute knee length dresses, pushing a shopping cart through Jewel with little piggie kids being freely allowed to throw packs of Twinkies and ice cream into the cart. Because piggie parents are cool like that. I also always felt sorry for the little pig that stayed home. WHY did he stay home? Was he in trouble? Too busy reading Charlottes Web? Eating roast beef? As to that, do pigs eat roast beef? My mind would envision him with plate, napkin around the neck and snout buried deep into his food.

Yes. I was a strange strange child. Continue reading

Me Old. You Younger. Ugh *Beats Head With Club*

Chewy Coconut Lime Cookies

I’m 47 years old. I’ll be 48 in August. A bit longer in the tooth than the vast majority of food bloggers. And non food bloggers. And much of the population of the Earth. And many outlying planets.

Erhmmm, moving on. I’m older than you. And you. And you. And…oh God, not you… you’re older than God. Get your glasses and Geritol!

Did I mention that moving on thing? Yeah. Sorry. Let’s try that again.

My frame of reference in many ways is far different than that of many of the food bloggers. When they were born, I was in high school. When they were in high school, I was married with at least one kid. So musical tastes, books in some cases, movies, TV shows, etc etc, are going to be far removed from those of many. Sometimes, this leads me to feeling pretty darn out of the loop lol. People will mention books, songs, TV shows, movies, what have you that either I have never heard of or have no interest in because it’s just too young for me. In explanation to anyone who may think I am being snooty there, not at all. I grew up when there were 5 TV channels, as well as movies being a lot…tamer, for lack of a better word. So a lot of the more wild movies (musicians, songs, TV shows ) turn me off. I’m 47 going on 95 😛

But I’ve always loved how some of the above things cross generational boundaries with no problem. I mean, 27 or 47, you’ve heard of the show “Little House On The Prairie”. You’ve heard of and probably jokingly head bang along with the song “Bohemian Rhapsody”. You’ve heard of the movie “Gone With The Wind”. Am I right?

And this song coming up here is one that I think everybody knows for one reason or another. Maybe you’re old like me and remember when the song came out originally (Harry Nilsson sang it). Maybe you first heard it sung by The Baja Men or when Kermit The Frog sang it on the Muppet Show 😀 (I love the Kermit version hehe) But finding someone who has never heard at least the key parts of it would be difficult, methinks.



So whenever I make anything that has Lime and Coconut in it, this song comes into my mind and I find myself singing it (and wanting a nice Caribbean drink) as I cook. And since the lime coconut combo is a favorite of mine, I sing this often enough that I should probably be put away somewhere safe. With padded walls. And cable TV in my room. And nice sleepy meds. And someone bringing me my food. Hell, this is starting to sound good. Sign me up! Continue reading

I Think My Kids Need Yeast Interventions

Buttery Yeast Rolls

I swear… I don’t starve my boys. Or at least not daily. Only on alternating Tuesdays and in months with a Y in it.. Generally speaking though, I actually allow them to eat. You would never know it though when I make something yeast risen. I can put it in the oven and come out and find the three of them huddled around the oven, drool sizzling on the glass door as they stare at whatever is in there and ask me “is it done yet? How bout now? NOW? Awwww mannnn… NOWWWW???!”. It’s the cooking version of “are we there yet!?” Thank God 3 of my kids are grown and moved… there wouldn’t be enough room around the oven and I would probably have to call in The National Guard to prevent bloodshed.

So when I made these yeast rolls the other night, I was prepared. I put on my riot uniform and hoisted up my bulletproof shield. I put up cement barriers all around the kitchen, had 911 pressed into my phone ready to press send and had a nice bottle of something high in alcohol at hand to calm my nerves. Then I got to work.  After a few hours, a new bottle of high octane hooch, as well as a few cans of food for the guard dogs and there they were. Hot, buttery, yeasty, “omg, I am gonna fight the kids for these” Buttery Yeast Rolls.The original recipe called for rolling the dough out and cutting it into crescents and yep, they were adorable looking. But…. I was soooo not feeling that ambitious. So I made regular rolls from these instead but with the added twist of a schmear (I love that word) of butter inside the roll before cooking. The original called for smearing the rolled dough with butter and then cutting it into the crescents. I got to the smearing part and got impatient; thus the making it into regular butter filled rolls part. What can I say? I was lazy. Continue reading

Oink. Oink I say. Oink.

Spicy Sweet Southwestern Pork Chops

I have mentioned before that we love pork in our household. I’ve mentioned it more than once actually. because…well… we love pork. Or at least, I love pork and my family is forced to follow along in my cloven footprints because of it. I have posted quite a few porky recipes in here (especially when one considers that I am primarily a baking blog… pork cookies anyone? A nice baked pork and rice pudding perchance?) with one of my personal favorites being My ode to Anthony Bourdain . I’m still waiting for him to leave his wife and come find me and take us all (my husband and kids have to come too…) away to live in fatty pork sin.

Last night I was talking to my brother about my and Russ’s future plans for our land here. We hope to someday have animals, including raising a pig or two a year. The problem would arise at slaughter time. After I got the pig out of our bed where it would be ensconced watching old Porky Pig cartoons, took back the TV remote and box of Twinkies from it, I would be lost. I’d be sitting there with my knife…ax…machete…spoon (hell, I don’t know what I’d use to kill a poor innocent piggy!) bawling hysterically, asking the pig to please do me a favor and just fall on the knife…spork…spoon…ax… and make it easier. Truthfully though, when we get to the point of slaughter, we’d have to send them out to someone because unless it was a case of the poop hitting the fan world wide, and we HAD to do it, neither my husband nor I are the slaughtering types. Continue reading