I Do Not Have A Caffeine Problem

I ALWAYS shake like this. It’s a natural thing for me. really; it is. *Cough cough*

I don’t much like coffee. I think I’ve mentioned that before. I’m a tea person at heart. But being the fair kind hearted person that I am, I’m always willing to make exceptions. So what exceptions do I make you ask? You were asking weren’t you? I like coffee if it has 4000 calories due to the flavored syrups, piles of whipped cream and various sprinkles. I mean seriously? Is there a reason to drink it any other way? It’s natural depths of flavors are brought out by all the other ingredients. At least that’s what I tell myself when I go to Starbucks and order a cafe mocha macchiato latte with 4 extra shots of espresso made with heavy cream straight from the cow, don’t hold the can of whipped cream and 2 extra cups of chocolate syrup please.

Recently, Starbucks has me hooked with the new Coconut Mocha Frappuccino. I can easily drink 4, ok, 12, maybe 23 of those bad boys in a row. Don’t worry; I keep an eye out for all the restrooms nearby. And the caffeine doesn’t bother me a bit. Just ask my husband. We were just talking about this last night as I slurped down one of my home made frappuccinos. It’s still considered slurping it down if you have your head buried in the glass licking out the remaining contents from the inside isn’t it? He told me I looked adorable with that caffeinated wild look in my eyes and whipped cream dripping down my chin. He still likes to bring up the day we got the police escort out of our local Starbucks after I had six Cinnamon Dolce Lattes in a row. I’ve never understood why the police were so upset. I was just trying to help clean out the blenders. And the counters. And the back room. And the other customers. As for my husband bringing it up with that funny look on his face, it’s not like the bail money set us back THAT much. I like to think of it as a bonding experience. For the life of me though, I can’t figure out why the closed sign is always up when I go near that place.  When we reminisce about good times like that, my husbands smile looks forced. Go figure.

When we had to mortgage the kids however, I realized it might be time to figure out how to make my own Coconut Mocha Frappuccinos at home. We had to save the money plus the kids weren’t here to help me with the housework. So Idid. Because…well… that’s what I do. I create things that hopefully you like and you tell me how wonderful I am to have done so. At least it works that way in my day dreams.

This isn’t exactly like Starbucks (I love you Starbucks people!!!! Don’t be mad at me! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?) but it’s darn close and it doesn’t cost me five bucks. Which means I have five bucks extra to waste spend at places like Amazon.  That way, I can buy educational books like “How to beat your caffeine addiction in twelve easy cups”.

In the meantime however, I’ll go lick out clean out the blender and you go make some of these. In theory it makes enough for two, but we all know better, don’t we?

By the way, anyone know if I have to keep paying the mortgage on the kids once they turn 18?


  • 2 cups of ice cubes
  • 1 cup milk (you can use whatever kind. We all know I used whole)
  • 1/2 cup double strength coffee (just make half a pot of coffee using the amount of coffee you’d use for a full pot)
  • 1/2 cup chocolate syrup
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons coconut extract (found with the vanilla extract at the store) (I plan on getting some coconut syrup to try making this with)
  • GARNISH-  whipped cream, caramel syrup, chocolate syrup and coconut flakes
  1. Toss all the ingredients in the blender except for the garnish. Blend until …well… blended. garnish then drink. then make more. Then drink. Then make more. Then drink. Then come clean my house. Do you do windows?
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32 thoughts on “I Do Not Have A Caffeine Problem

  1. I can only have my coffee loaded with syrups..chocolate..whipped cream..cookie crumbs…sausages…whatever is nearby really. Ill have to try this

  2. I too am a tea drinker, but every now and then these drinks call me names, then I have to show them who’s boss!! Great alternative for a quick fix!

  3. I loove coffee! And i also loove tea!! My heart likes both, i love my coffee during breakfast and my tea during tea time!! But i am sure i can change for a day or two and take this wonderful frapuccino for my tea time!! Looks fantastic!

  4. I used to be obssessed with this Frap! I used to have it all the time when I went back to Hawaii- I’m glad they brought it over to the rest of the US finally… But now I can make it at home- for cheaper and probably healthier too!

  5. This looks awesome! I often keep a pitcher of cold coffee in the fridge with just sweetener and milk in it but I’m going to make this next time instead.

    • oooo, I never though of keeping ready sweetened coffee available. You could prolly use it for this and it would still turn out

  6. Yes, we all know better 😉 Coffee is one of my main food groups, so this is right up my alley! I never even tried one of these at Starbucks, but I’ll bet yours is even better! Looks fantastic!

  7. I’ve got to stop reading your posts when the puppy is napping. I laugh so hard it scares her! I’ve spent most of my career working in large NY ad agencies and a lot of them have in-house coffee bars. They actually hire barristas and make all these mocha frappa latte things (I don’t drink any coffee at all). The cost is only $1 since the agency subsidizes the rest. I wonder how long you’d last there… 🙂

  8. When I was in Jr High the Mocha-Coconut Frap was a special edition item on the Starbucks menu; it was the first frap I ever had and I was hooked. I sucked them down at every turn. Then, I started making them everyday when my mom stopped driving me to Starbucks 🙂 I love this!
    I’m also thankful that you can now make the treat lightened up and a bit sugar-free. Glad you made this recipe; it made me smile!

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