Category Archives: Desserts

Got Milk….Erhmmm… Eggnog?

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You know how everyone waits for the Thanksgiving/Christmas/Holiday season? How people sing cheerful songs all day long and are all happy and everyone gives everybody else big hugs and makes cookies and candy and goodies to give to charities and begin to lead lives of voluntary poverty so that they can help others? Then, to make it even better, they all give home made gifts that are just oozing with love and seasonal chipperness?

Yeah… me neither. But it sounds really good doesn’t it?

That’s why I don’t wait for any of those things. The cynic in me won’t let me. I HOPE for it, I try to live it (except for that home made gift thing. I suck at crafts. You’d be better off getting a “Turkey Hand” from my 3 year old.) but I don’t expect it.

What I do expect however is Eggnog. Yep; eggnog. I cringe when I see stores setting up Christmas decorations/supplies/foods the day after Halloween ( or before in many cases) but I am that person standing in front of the dairy case leaving behind copious amounts of drool when I see them stocking up the refrigerated eggnog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know; I could make home made eggnog and it would taste different better and would be fresher and not have preservatives. Yada yada yada. I LIKE preservatives. They are why I am 47 and have the skin of a 10 year old in old pictures of me taken when I was 5. I LIKE that fake overly thick texture that clogs up your arteries  throat and leaves you needing a drink of water. It’s yummy darn it! Yummy I say! Go… right now. Drink a gallon or six of eggnog and tell me that you don’t feel all bloated Christmasy and happy.

Seriously. I love the stuff. Wait all year for it. Well, that and Culvers Pumpkin Pie Shakes.

I also like to use it in baking. It is great in cookies and fudge and pot roasts* and cakes and muffins and sushi*. It gives everything a great flavor and starts them doing all that chipper singing and s***.

I was going to make eggnog muffins today and I still may do that in the near future. Any excuse to get my eggnog fix. But as I was pulling out ingredients I decided that I wanted to do something different. Yeah, I know. Me. Something different. Whoda thunk it? I also wanted to make something that was easy and quick so that it was a treat you could make on the fly and add to goody trays without having to put a lot of time into it. So the following cupcakes are what I came up with. Yes, they use boxed cake mix. Shoot me. I said when I made this blog that I was NOT the type to turn up my nose at convenience products. IF they are good. And the majority of cake mixes these days are pretty freaking good.

So give these a try. They are amazingly simple. They are also moist and tender with the flavor of spice and eggnog and the frosting puts them over the eggnoggy (yes, that is now a word. I said so.) top. Then put a straw in the bottle of eggnog and slurp away. I won’t judge. Laugh maybe, but not judge.

Eggnog Spice Cupcakes With Eggnog Buttercream

  • 1 box Duncan Hines Spice Cake Mix (use a white or yellow cake and increase the spices by half if you want a cake with more eggnog flavor and less spice cake flavor.)
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon rum extract
  • 1 1/3 cups refrigerated eggnog
  • 1/3 cup vegetable or canola oil
  • Buttercream frosting-
  • 4 cups powdered sugar
  • 2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, room temp
  • 6 tablespoons eggnog (may take more or less; add slowly)
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  1. Preheat oven to 350. Line 21 cupcake tins with liners or grease well.
  2. Beat all the cupcake ingredients in a large bowl for five minutes until well blended and creamy. Stick a finger in there and taste it, then worry about Salmonella.
  3. Bake at 350 until cupcakes are cooked through, about20 minutes. Tops should be browned and spring back when lightly touched.
  4. Cool in pan for a minute or two then turn out onto a rack to finish cooling.
  5. While they cool, make frosting.
  6. Beat all frosting ingredients in a large bowl until well mixed, creamy and the grittiness of the powdered sugar is gone. This will take about 8 minutes or so. Add the powdered sugar slowly. If too thin, add a bit more sugar. If too thick, add more egggnog.
  7. Frost. Eat. Moan in eggnoggy ecstasy.

*You don’t really think I use it in pot roast and sushi do you? Geez, I draw the line SOMEWHERE! Nobody in their right mind would use it in sushi…… just in the sushi dipping sauce 😛

Same Theme, Different Yummy Recipe

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I know I know, I just did a recipe for a cake… and it too had apples in it. But I can’t help myself!!!! It’s Fall and apples are in season and they are totally delicious this time of year and they go so well with spices and cake and and and… you love me and will forgive me for being a wee bit repetitive. I just know you will!

You will won’t you? You’re not currently changing your bat channel are you?

Get back here young lady!! Erhmmm, no, I wasn’t meaning to insult your manhood sir. Though I’d like you to stay too. Yes, I know your wife thinks you are very manly.Yes, those are wonderful biceps. Sir, put your shirt back on please.

My husband is manlier though. He carried a tree out of our forest today. All by himself. One handed. He even grunted and said “Ugh. Me man, you woman. Cook me a whole Elk, wench”. Ok, no he didn’t and if he had, I probably would have beaned him upside the head with one of the heavy branches I was toting. I’d have made a terrible submissive cave woman. I’d have been the cavewoman berating her hubby for not killing a larger Mammoth. “Whadda ya mean, your spear broke!? I’ve said time and time again that you don’t pay attention to spear upkeep and this was gonna happen! Now what am I gonna do with this tiny 1500 pound Mammoth!? All the OTHER husbands get bigger ones! How can I show my face at the Junior Cavewomans League NOW?!”

But really… he carried a tree. Maybe it wasn’t big but I was impressed. I even swooned a little and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t from his pit smell.

Then I came home and cooked Mammoth  this cake. He deserved it. For the tree thing, not the smelly pits. And cause he likes apples. See? It’s all HIS fault I’m posting another apple cake. It had nothing to do with the fact that I like spice cake and had apples I needed to use up.

Seriously though (I hear you saying “yeah, right, Janet. YOU? Serious?) this is yummy! I told all of you that I was going to post things for your Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Day of Any Worship/ whatever/ table and so I am. I mean, I’m the first person to go grabbing a Pecan or Pumpkin pie or twelve and eating every bite as I growl at anyone who ventures near me but I wanted to give you some choices that aren’t necessarily the normal holiday fare. This fits that bill quite well.  It’s a one layer spice cake that is redolent of Autumn and makes your house smell fantastic. It has a layer of caramelized apples on top a la upside down cake. It’s then served with the caramel that you didn’t use for the apples. Can we say “OMG”?

This isn’t hard to make at all. I’ve made it a gazillion times over the years. The hardest part is the homemade caramel and slicing all the apples. I don’t know about you but I HATE slicing apples. It’s a testament to my love for desserts like this that I do it at all. It’s originally a recipe from Epicurious.com and I haven’t really changed it a whole lot. I’ve added more spice and added a bit of vegetable oil because originally the cake was a bit dry. Otherwise, it’s the same recipe they have up. If you like apples, caramel and spice cake you sooooo have to try this.

Winter Spice Cake With Caramelized Apples

  • 13 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
  • 6 medium Golden Delicious apples (about 2 1/4 pounds), peeled, cored and cut into 6 wedges
  • 4 tablespoons plus 1 3/4 cups sugar
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
  • 2 1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger
  • 3/4 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Spray bottom of 9-inch-diameter springform pan with cooking spray. Line bottom of the with foil; spray foil. Wrap outside of pan with foil. Wonder why you didn’t take stock in a foil company.
  3. Melt 3 tablespoons butter in large nonstick pan over medium-high heat. Add apples; sprinkle with 1 tablespoon sugar.
  4. Sauté apples until almost tender and beginning to brown, about 6 minutes. Sprinkle with 3 tablespoons sugar. Wonder why you didn’t take stock in a sugar company.
  5. Increase heat to high and toss until sugar melts and apples are deep brown, about 4 minutes. Pour apple mixture onto large plate (do not clean skillet; you want all that apple and buttery goodness).
  6. Melt 4 tablespoons butter in same skillet over medium-high heat. Add 3/4 cup sugar and cook until mixture is deep golden brown, stirring often, about 7 minutes (mixture will be grainy). Add cream and vinegar (do not stir).
  7. Cover skillet, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer without stirring until most of caramel bits dissolve, about 8 minutes.
  8. Uncover and whisk until sauce is slightly thick, deep brown and reduced to generous 1 cup, about 3 minutes longer. Pour caramel sauce into small saucepan.
  9. Spread 3 tablespoons caramel sauce over bottom of prepared pan. Arrange apple wedges side by side, rounded side down, in caramel in 2 purty overlapping circles.
  10. Sift flour and next 6 ingredients into a medium bowl.
  11. Beat 6 tablespoons butter, 3 tablespoons oil and 1 cup sugar in large bowl to blend (mixture will be grainy). Beat in eggs 1 at a time, then vanilla and 1/4 cup of the caramel sauce.
  12. Beat in half of dry ingredients, then sour cream, then remaining dry ingredients.
  13. Spoon batter evenly over apples.
  14. Bake cake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 1 hour 15 minutes.
  15. Cool cake in pan 5 minutes.Cut around cake; remove pan sides. Cool cake 15 minutes longer.
  16. Place platter atop cake; invert cake onto platter. Remove pan bottom and foil. Replace any dislodged apples. Rewarm remaining caramel sauce. Serve cake warm or at room temperature with sauce.

 

I Have A Confession To Make

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Darn turkey was trying to eat my cake!

You ready for this? I’m hoping that none of you leave and never speak to me again because this is a big one.

*Takes a deep breath*

Ok, here goes.

I’m glad Halloween is over! Glad!! Glad I say!!

There!! I said it!!

*Sobs uncontrollably and hides under a blankie, peeking out to see how many of you left*

You’re still here!? To quote my three year old, “Awesome, dude!”

I really am though. Beyond the candy, as a holiday it really doesn’t do much for me. I get tired of trying to catch something decent on TV and only finding scary movies and things titled “The Exorcism of The Three Legged Emu That Ate Manhattan”. I find myself longing for Thanksgiving and Christmas movies and TV shows. I also get tired of every food product being based on the idea of how gross can we make this? Mind you, I get/got a kick out of seeing how creative my fellow bloggers can be with Halloween treats and some sounded amazingly good but I was aching for something that was homey and cozy and Autumnish.

Like I said though, the candy part? Yeah, I can deal with that. Especially the day after sales when you can snag 73 pound bags of assorted Hershey products for less than the national debt. I grab those bad boys and save them to put in Christmas stockings and pray that the kids don’t really notice the Halloween wrappers. Honest… I really do save them. Ok, most of them. There usually aren’t many any Kit Kats left. But who can blame me!? I mean… it’s KIT KATS!!!

With just two teens and a three year old at home, there wasn’t any trick or treating. I figure Joshie can start going when he starts school. I’m mean that way. Plus, he is pretty timid and I really didn’t want to carry him as he clutched me in traumatized fear and then had nightmares for a year or twelve.

So I’ve moved on. I’m back to loving the idea of cozy Autumn style dishes; things that can be served to the family or maybe put on the table when Thanksgiving comes around which is getting here quicker than I’m ready for. So today I made an awesome (awesome, dude!!) caramelized apple pound cake. This is an older recipe that I only slightly adapted from Food & Wine magazine and it’s a bit more time consuming than things I usually make but it’s well worth it. I added a cider & ginger apple compote to this and it works wonderfully to add that extra pizzazz to the cake. I also didn’t use their glaze because it just sounded too sweet and heavy.

Cider Caramelized Apple Pound Cake

With An Cider, Apple & Ginger Compote

  1. Cake-
  2. 2 cups apple cider
  3. 3 cups white sugar
  4. 1 1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
  5. 1 1/2 pounds granny smith apples, peeled, cored and sliced thin
  6. 3 cups cake flour
  7. 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  8. 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  9. 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  10. 1/2 teaspoon cloves
  11. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  12. 1/4 teaspoon baking soda (yes, you read that right)
  13. 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  14. 6 large eggs
  15. 3/4 cup sour cream
  16. Compote-
  17. 1 20 ounce package refrigerated glazed apples (the kind that is by the ready made meals)
  18. 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  19. 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  20. 1/2 cup apple cider
  21. 2 tablespoons crystallized ginger
  22. 1/3 cup heavy cream
  23. Glaze-
  24. 2 cups powdered sugar
  25. 1/4 to 1/3 cup apple cider (will vary depending on how thick or thin you want your glaze)
  • In a large saucepan, boil the 2 cups apple cider over high heat, stirring occasionally, until reduced to 1/2 cup. Add 1 cup of the white sugar to it and cook over moderately high heat until it is a dark amber color.
  • Take pan off the heat and add in the 2 tablespoons of butter. Add the peeled and sliced apples and cook over medium high heat until the apples are tender and translucent and most of the cider syrup is absorbed. Set the apples aside and let cool.
  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 12 cup bundt pan (I used Bakers Joy spray- I love that stuff!).
  • Sift together the flour, spices and salt.
  • In a large bowl, beat the 1 1/2 cups butter until creamy. Add the remaining 2 cups of sugar and the vanilla and beat until light and fluffy.
  • Add the eggs one at a time. beat well after each one.
  • Add the dry ingredients a third at a time, alternating adding it with adding the sour cream.
  • Stir half a cup of the batter into the apples to lighten them up a bit, then stir the apples into the rest of the batter.
  • Pour the batter into your prepared pan and smooth it out. Bake for 70 minutes or until the top is dry and cracked or a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean.
  • Let cool in pan for about 20 minutes then turn it out onto a rack to cool completely.
  • When cool, whisk the glaze ingredients together and drizzle over the cake… or just eat it with a spoon. WHAT?! Quit looking funny at me!
  • To make the compote-
  • In a medium saucepan, mix all the ingredients except for the cream. Bring to a simmer, stirring frequently and cook until the cider has been absorbed. make sure to stir this often or it WILL stick. Don’t ask me how I know this *cough cough*. When pretty much all of the cider is absorbed, stir in the cream. Heat JUST until the cream has warmed up; don’t boil it.
  • Serve the cake with a nice dollop of the compote on top.
  • Say yum.

Taking a decent picture at 2am with no natural light (obviously) & a point & shoot camera is pretty impossible. Sigh.

‘

Dum Dum Suckers!? Awwww, mannnn!

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This is an entry from my old non foodie journal. Just thought I’d share. Yes, still me, still insanely silly 😀

My son Zach went trick or treating last year. He was a werewolf…again. He has a fascination with them. I haven’t decided if I simply need to hide the cats during a full moon, wonder if he is Lon Chaney reincarnated or just get him therapy. Zach constantly bemoans the fact that he hasn’t yet grown enough body hair to make a Spyhnx Cat happy much less a werewolf.

I still remember when I found him and his older brother Jordan in the bathroom cutting each others hair and trying to super glue it to their faces. After I stopped laughing and wiped my eyes, I had to figure out a way to get the hair and the glue off their faces. I was tempted to just leave it there and let them go to school looking like the bastard love children of Tiny Tim and The Bearded Lady but the mental image of myself trying to explain to the Child Protection Services why my sons were covered in glued on hair made me think better of it.

Moving on. My father, who died in April of ’06, loved Halloween. Ok, so he was a diabetic who loved any excuse to eat candy but he did adore Halloween. Every year we went through the same routine. I would take him shopping and he would buy six or seven of the HUGE bags of candy. You know the kind; the ones with enough in them to feed either a small third world country or Nicole Ritchie on a binge. Most would be the mini chocolate bars with one or two bags of Smarties and Sweet-tarts. I would nag him about not needing so much because we lived in a rural area where we are lucky (or blessed depending on your viewpoint) to get ten kids coming to the door. He would say that what didn’t get eaten he could give to my kids *snorts… uh huh*.

Come Halloween, an hour after trick or treating would start, I would invariably find him sitting in his lawn chair, candy wrappers around him as he dozed in the blissful dreams of a mini diabetic coma and dreamt of Kim Novak hand feeding him Nestles Crunch bars. He would be surrounded by neighborhood cats and dogs sniffing through the wrappers trying to find some crumbs of forbidden chocolate heaven. I am fairly sure he alone was responsible for quite a few animals dying a sugar induced death. The children loved him though. Where else could they go and grab handfuls of candy without the watchful eyes of an (awake) adult telling them to not take more than one or two?

Every year, the day after Halloween, he & I would go through the kids bags. Ostensibly it was to sift through it and get rid of anything iffy. In reality though it was to take all the good stuff and then when the kids asked where it went to, to point the sticky finger at each other. Last year, the popular item seemed to be Dum Dum Suckers. Lots and lots of Dum Dum suckers. I tried for months to figure out what to do with all. There are only so many times one can serve Dum Dum Roast for dinner with a side of Mashed Dum Dums before the family refuses to eat. Now I just sneak them in like most mothers do Spinach. “Here you go honey… eat your Dum Dums first then I’ll get you some nice chicken… c’mon it looks sooo good doesn’t it? You used to love the Cream Soda flavor”.

I had to laugh when Zach got home with his goodies. He dumped the bag out, got the most disappointed look on his face, turned to me and said “dum dum suckers?! Awww man”!!! My father was surely laughing himself silly as Kim fed him Snickers bars and Three Musketeers.

Dum Dum Au Gratin anyone???? I’ll share.
Ahhh dad, Halloween just isn’t the same without you this year.

In honor of Halloween, I have made a Pumpkin Souffle. I couldn’t resist making a delicious Maple/Brown Sugar Whipped Cream to go with it because…well, because I’m me 😛

This is sooooo good! And contrary to popular belief, not hard at all. Yes, your souffle will fall. It’s supposed to. You have to be quick to serve them but even if they collapse before you get them to your family or guests, they will NOT care. I promise. They will be too busy moaning in ecstasy. So try this. because I said. And because it’s something a little different in the pumpkin arena. And because it’s insanely good.

Pumpkin Pie Souffle With Maple Brown Sugar Whipped Cream

  1. Maple Whipped Cream-
  2. 1 cup heavy cream
  3. 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup (not Mrs. Butterworths… as good as she may be)
  4. 1 tablespoon dark brown sugar
  5. 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  6. Pumpkin Pie Souffle-
  7. 6 egg whites, room temp
  8. 3/4 teaspoon cream of tartar (do NOT omit. It helps stabilize the egg whites)
  9. 6 egg yolks, room temp
  10. 1/2 cup sugar plus extra for coating souffle dishes
  11. 1/2 cup canned pumpkin puree (NOT pie filling)
  12. 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  13. 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger (leave Maryann, Gilligan and The Professor alone)
  14. 1/4 teaspoon cloves
  15. 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • Heat oven to 375 degrees.
  • Make your Maple Whipped Cream-
  • Add the maple syrup and brown sugar to the cup of heavy cream in a large bowl. Beat until the cream is stiff. Store in the refrigerator until ready to serve.
  • Coat 4 8 ounce lightly greased souffle dishes with sugar . I only had mini and extra large dishes so I used 2 ten ounce ones and 2 six ounce ones. Works out the same.
  • Set them into a 13×9 baking dish.
  • While preparing the souffles, heat up 2 cups of water in the microwave. Leave until ready to use.
  • Beat egg whites and cream of tartar in a large GLASS bowl until foamy. Gradually add in the 1/2 cup sugar. Continue beating until the egg whites are glossy and stand up in soft peaks.
  • In a separate bowl, beat the egg yolks. Add the 1/2 cup pumpkin and the spices (tip- Have all your stuff measured before you begin making this. It makes the process much easier and you don’t have to worry about your whites deflating while you are scurrying around for spices and sugar and such.).
  • GENTLY fold the egg yolk/pumpkin mixture into the egg whites until no streaks of white remain.
  • Pour mixture into prepared dishes.
  • Put in oven and carefully add the 2 cups of hot water to the baking dish (NOT into the souffle dishes :-P).
  • Bake at 375 until tops are nicely browned and the souffles have risen, about 15 to 20 minutes.
  • Serve with the maple whipped cream.

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie…

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Sigh. Have I mentioned recently that I REALLY need a good camera?

 

That’s so NOT amore as Dean Martin crooned years ago. It’s more like, sayyyyy, the apocalypse.  That moon thing might hurt. Well, ok, no it won’t because the whole Earth would go BOOM long before the moon actually hit your eye… or your nose… or even an outstretched “OMG, the moon is about to hit me!!!” sort of arm. Now the boom thing? That may hurt for a split second or so.

I am pretty sure that Mr. Martin was dead drunk when he sang those words. But then again, I don’t recall any sightings of him on TV where he WASN’T dead drunk.  Am I the only one who remembers the show he had on TV many many years back? Erhmmm, not that I’m old enough to recall it. I watched it on you tube. Yeah, that’s it. And in those shows…erhmmm, reruns, I remember him always being surrounded by gorgeous women, always lounging against a piano and always dead drunk. Ahhh, the days when men were men. Or something like that.

Now I’m feeling all nostalgic for old TV shows. I used to love all the old variety shows that came on during the Christmas season. My favorite was always the Bing Crosby Special. Oh Gawd, I loved those shows! I have on an old VHS tape one that came out a few years after Mr. Crosby died that was a compilation of all the shows. I kept it once I found it because for YEARS, and I mean MANY YEARS, I remembered the version of “The Little Drummer Boy” he sang with David Bowie ( go look it up on you tube. It’s beyond amazing!) and that was the only way I could hear the song. Then a few years ago, “Now That’s What I Call Christmas” came out with a CD that had that song on it. I was one happy Bing lover.

Back to that moon and pizza pie thing. I love pizza. Matter of fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone who DIDN’T like pizza. But if they did, I bet I could change they mind with this one. This doesn’t have sausage or pepperoni or extra cheese or mushrooms (damn. Now I’m hungry.) Nope. This one is covered in a nice cheesecake filling, apples, cinnamon and sugar as well as caramel and a delicious streusel topping. Drooling yet?

I saw a recipe for caramel apple pizza and while it sounded good, that genetically warped part of me took over (go figure huh?) and I had to mess with it. I mean c’mon, would you really expect anything different form me? I didn’t think so. So I added a nice sugar cinnamon sprinkle to the crust to give it some flavor and then topped it all off with an oatmeal crumb topping. The cinnamon sugar could be left off if you preferred but…why? 😀 This makes a great family dessert, especially this time of the year when apples are excellent. It would also be great at a kids Halloween party. This makes 2 pies so if you want to do the math, you could cut the recipe in half 😛

Streusel Caramel Apple Cheesecake Pizza

  • STREUSEL-
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup oatmeal
  • 1/3 cup flour
  • Cinnamon sugar topping-
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 heaping tablespoon cinnamon
  • PIZZA-
  • 2 store bought pizza crusts (yes you could make your own but this is meant to be a fairly easy quick to put together treat)
  • 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened
  • 1 cup caramel dip or topping
  • 3 large apples, cored, thinly sliced (Gala work well)
  • 1/3 cup finely chopped peanuts (I didn’t do this because I don’t like them but figured I’d add it to make it more caramel apple seeming)
  • more caramel topping for drizzling.
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a small bowl, combine all the topping ingredients. Mix well then cut in the butter using a pastry blender. Set aside.
  3. In a separate bowl, combine the cream cheese and the caramel topping.
  4. Spray the pizza crusts with butter flavored baking spray (regular is fine too) and put them on large cookie sheets.
  5. Combine the cinnamon sugar and sprinkle it over the two pizza crusts. Get annoyed at me cause I’ve made you dirty 3 bowls and 2 baking sheets.
  6. Spread half the cream cheese mixture over each pizza crust.
  7. Arrange the apple slices on each crust in a purty spoke design even though they are going to be covered in streusel and you won’t see them. YOU’LL know it’s pretty under there. It’s like wearing nice underwear in case you get into an accident.
  8. Drizzle the apples with more caramel topping. I didn’t give an amount for that because I am heavy handed with it. You may want less…. or more even, in which case call your dentist.
  9. Sprinkle half the streusel topping over each pizza crust.
  10. Bake at 350 degrees until the topping is browned and crispy and the apples are tender.
  11. Serve this with vanilla ice cream. Curse my name as your hips get bigger as you eat and your jeans button pops open. Know that I’m giggling over here.

When Life Gives You Lemons….

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Heck with just making lemonade. Find someone who has vodka and have a party. 😛 I believe it was Ron White who said that. Don’t care much for the man but I like the sentiment. Though being the weirdo that I am, I’d probably forgo the party and add the lemons to the vodka with some sugar, let it steep for months and make Limoncello. Then sit back with a good book and have a drink. THAT’S a party!

Wow… I’m old. And boring.

Oh well… youth and excitement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. 🙂 My teen years, my twenties, even my early thirties, I was so unsure of myself or my importance in the scheme of things and so sure that “omg, I’m nothing! I haven’t discovered a cure for cancer… I can’t even get my son potty trained! I’m a failure!” was the way life would always be. I was fat, not very pretty, insecure and convinced that the world hated me. Now I’m middle aged, fat, not very pretty, still insecure at times (though it’s amazing what age does to that too) and not too worried about whether or not the world hates me hehehe. So long as I have my family, friends and all the people who actually seem to like to read my ramblings (hmmm, same thing as the friends really isn’t it? :-)  )  I think I’m doing pretty good, even on the bad days. They happen… we muddle through them and move on, hopefully a little wiser. So remember that all you young pups. The best years really ARE yet to come.

Damn. This post proves it. I really AM old and boring. *grins*. Love me anyway? 😛

Yesterday, I told you that today’s pie would be a lemon one. Bet you’re expecting lemon meringue or something like that. Nahhhhhhh. Much as I love it, that one is everywhere. So how about a Lemon Souffle Pie? Yep… Lemon Souffle Pie. I have been making this for years (again.. you have GOT to get yourself a copy of The Fanny Farmer Baking Book) and this is one I have not changed a bit. It is fantastic just the way Miss Farmer created it. This tastes just like what the name suggests. Basically because it IS just what the name suggests; just in a pie shell. It is light and fluffy and lemony and so darn easy it’s embarrassing. It has enough sweetness to be very satisfying but is light enough to be good served after a heavy meal (like Thanksgiving or Christmas…or even Easter) for those who want something but don’t want too much or maybe prefer something not chocolate (I know… weird people everywhere huh?). So give this a try. C’monnnnn …. don’t let the word souffle scare you off.

Lemon Souffle Pie

  • 1 unbaked nine inch pie crust
  • 3 large eggs, separated
  • 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice (takes about 2 lemons for that much)
  • zest from one lemon
  • 3 tablespoons hot water
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup sugar
  1. Preheat the oven to 425.
  2. Prick pie shell over with a fork. Line it with foil and bake at 425 for 6 minutes. Remove the foil and then bake again until it is just lightly browned; about ten minutes.
  3. Reduce your heat to 325.
  4. Put your egg yolks in the top part of a double boiler (I have also done this part in the microwave on 60% power, stirring after every minute. But be careful to keep an eye on it and stir often if you do it that way.). Add the lemon juice, zest, salt, hot water and 3/4 cup of the sugar. Beat the mixture over boiling water until thickened. Remove from heat and let it cool.
  5. In a medium bowl, beat your egg whites & the remaining sugar until stiff moist peaks form.
  6. Pour the cooled lemon mixture into the egg whites until no streaks of white remain. Remember; FOLD… don’t stir. You don’t want to deflate your whites.
  7. Pour the mixture into the pie shell. Write mildly obscene words in the filling with a knife.  Make pretty swirls on top of the filling.
  8. Bake at 325 until lightly browned, about 15 minutes.
  9. Let cool on a rack. Serve with ice cream or whipped cream. Or just hold the pie pan really close to you with a spoon and growl at anyone who gets too near.

“Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”

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I love that quotation. Yogi Berra said that. The man spoke my heart! I love pie. Sweet pies, savory pies, custard, fruit, cream, fly guts (just checking to make sure you’re paying attention), citrus, chocolate. I love them all. Well, except for the fly gut one. You can have my share. Though, me being me, I am now wondering how teenie tiny fly guts would be if they even have guts similar to ours and if spiders make fly guts pie.

Yeah. Uh huh. Maybe it’s time for me to start looking into therapy again.

I have a few hundred favorites however. Apple crumb (I even love the Sara Lee Dutch Apple Crumb one), Key Lime (my favorite Summer pie) Lemon Meringue (reminds me of my dad), well, anything lemon (check back tomorrow for one of those), cherry , mincemeat….ok, I think you get the point. I like pie. And I’m pretty much an equal opportunity pie lover (hmmm, my mind can make even THAT sound obscene. Did I mention that therapy thing?).

So going on my last post’s idea of giving you recipes to get ready for Thanksgiving before you go and pick all the better bloggers recipes because they make foods that make me look like a three year old in the kitchen *sobs piteously*, so that you don’t have to wait until the last minute to figure out what you want to make, I bring you my favorite pie. All time favorite. I’m talking “eat this until it seeps out of my pores and I smell like dessert (Thinking about this, is this really a BAD thing?) and I fall into a coma yet again from too much sugar” favorite pie. I’m saying “I love this pie and if I put it on my Thanksgiving table and the kids eat it all before I get to it, I cry” type of favorite pie. I’m saying…. I’m rambling aren’t I?

Moving on… my favorite pie is Pecan Pie. Go figure… a woman who doesn’t really care that much for nuts and my favorite pie is Pecan. But it is. And this one in particular. I have been making this for many many years now. It originally came from The Fanny Farmer Baking Book (omg, if you ever want just ONE excellent baking cookbook, get this one. Amazon still carries it even though it’s over a 25 year old book. I love this cookbook and want mine buried with me.) and I really haven’t changed it TOO much other than to increase the filling by half to make it deeper and adding a little cream and more vanilla to the filling before baking it. Why? Because more than I love the caramelized sugary glazed pecans (remember that not THAT fond of nuts thing), I absolutely adore the goopy filling in Pecan pie. This one is rich and dark and wickedly delicious. If you have been looking for a great pecan pie recipe, look no further. Try this one. I suggest making it a day ahead of time and letting it cool, then refrigerating it. Then when you want to cut it, cut it cold, then heat each piece in the microwave if you want it warm. I suggest that for most pies actually. They are much easier to cut and you’ll rarely have that first piece that falls apart that is so common with baking pies. So give this a try. Then do what I do when I make this and say to heck with the calories and drown it in a puddle of warm unsweetened heavy cream. Hey, it’s like a twice a year thing!

Wickedly Rich Pecan Pie

  • 1 9 inch unbaked pie shell (use homemade or use store bought but make sure it is a DEEP shell. Crimp the edges up even higher if it is a store bought deep dish with low edges)
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 cup dark corn syrup
  • 1/2 cup light corn syrup
  • 3/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • 6 tablespoons melted butter
  • 3 tablespoons heavy cream
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/4 cups pecan halves or pieces (I use pieces; make the pie easier to cut and the nuts gets more glazed and caramelized)
  1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Beat the eggs with a whisk (don’t use an electric beater with this recipe. It adds too much air to the filling) in a large bowl until well blended.
  3. Add the corn syrups (btw, bottled corn syrup is NOT the same thing as HFCS. You may not want to stick a straw in the bottle and drink it but it’s fine to use if you’re someone who worries about HFCS.),  the brown sugar, the melted butter, cream and vanilla. Blend well.
  4. Stir in the pecans. I then let it sit for about ten minutes or so before I put it in the pie shell. It gives the pecans time to soak up the filling.
  5. Pour filling into pie shell.
  6. Bake the pie for 15 minutes then reduce the heat to 350 degrees and cook until the pie is done. When you can stick a thin knife in the center and not come out with liquid on it, it’s done. You want it to come out with little tiny bits of goopy filling on it. Pecan pie is pretty precise in how it should be cooked. Too little and it’s runny; too much and it gets granular. Depending on your oven, this will take from 30 to 40 minutes. If it is getting too brown, lightly cover the pie with foil to shield it.
  7. Let cool on rack, then refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. If you want it warmed, slice the pie and heat each piece individually in the microwave.
  8. Cover your slice in a puddle of heavy cream that makes your pie scream at you that it’s drowning.

The Coyotes Sang For Me And Fall Harvest Cookies

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As many of you may know, my family and I recently moved. We had been living for three years in a  house we were renting on a dead end street. This house had a postage stamp sized yard. I mean, really really small. On top of that, it was sloped too deeply to use for anything. Where we are now is a normal sized house… we love it but we also know it’s nothing Earth shaking in most peoples eyes; just a typical 3 bedroom 2 bath house. What really made both of us want it was the land. This house came with ten acres of land. About 3 of it is cleared but 7 of it is forested as it much of the surrounding area. Plainly put, we are out in the boondocks… and we love it. 😀

Some of you may also remember that I have mentioned that I grew up in Chicago. I’m a South Side girl from birth. :-P  Plainly put there, I grew up with polluted Lake Michigan (though I love(d) it anyway), cement as my playground and wildlife that consisted of neighborhood dogs that had a thing for humping everyone’s legs and squirrels that I loved to watch back then and still enjoy watching though they are surprisingly rare around here. THAT was my wildlife hehe.

I’ve lived in Kentucky now longer than many of my readers have been alive (since ’88) but I still haven’t gotten to the point of taking it for granted. Part of this I think stems from the fact that my mother was from Alabama so if it’s possibly for one to be genetically hardwired to love the country, I am a walking example of this. I am so at peace here now, out of the city (such as our town of 17k is), away from traffic and ornery teenage kids skateboarding at midnight as they cuss up a blue streak.

One of the things I love here is knowing that we are surrounded by wildlife. I haven’t seen any yet but oh my, I know it’s there. The other night, at about 3:30am, I was suddenly startled awake from a dead sleep. I had no idea what woke me; still don’t really. Maybe I heard something in my sleep. But nonetheless, I was up for a while as is the norm for me when that happens. So, as I tend to do now, I headed outside. Within a few minutes, I heard it. The coyotes were also awake (it was the night of the full moon funnily enough) and they were giving me a serenade. I stood there for maybe ten minutes listening to their song. Up and down the musical scale it went, giving me chills. I went and got my husband to verify what I was hearing (in theory anyway; in reality I just wanted to share this with someone but had to have a valid excuse for waking him at almost 4 in the morning hehe). He stood with me for a bit but since he was snoring standing up, I had mercy and sent him back to bed.  When I went back outside, I realized that maybe it was time to take my listening back inside. Why? Because the one or two coyotes had increased by at least a few and they had moved quite a bit closer from the sound of it, MAYBE half a mile from the house if that.

I realize that coyotes can be a hazard to other animals and I wouldn’t want to walk in our woods at night. I like to think I have a LITTLE sense lol.. But I will never ever take for granted that I have been blessed to live somewhere now where, in the middle of the night, I am privy to the songs of the night. It was the most eerily awesome sound I have ever heard.

Moving on….. no coyote shaped cookies, no casserole made with coyote meat (ummm; eww?), no twilight themed treats. What I DO have for you is a cookie I created the other day. I wanted something Autumnish (yes, that is still a word because I said so darn it) and I was in the mood for maple… and apples… and white chocolate… and crunch. Lol. They turned out spectacularly if I do say so myself. My husband and my daughter (she was visiting which I love) said they didn’t like the Pepitas but neither of them like nuts and such in cookies either. Not to mention, for someone who didn’t like the seeds, my daughter sure ate enough of them :-P. So here you go… give my Fall Harvest Cookies, chock full of Autumny (yeah that’s a word now too) goodness., a try. I think you’ll enjoy them. Plus there is actually some semblance of nutrition in these :-p

Fall Harvest Cookies

  1. 4 1/2 cups all purpose flour
  2. 1 teaspoon baking powder
  3. 1 teaspoon baking soda
  4. 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter
  5. 1 1/4 cup sugar
  6. 1 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  7. 2 large eggs
  8. 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  9. 1 1/2 teaspoons maple flavoring
  10. 1 teaspoon butter flavoring (sold same area as vanilla extract)
  11. 2 cups peeled and chopped apples
  12. 1/2 cup Pepita’s (do NOT use the salted in the shell pumpkin seeds in these please)
  13. 1 1/2 cups Planters Brand Maple Pecans, coarsely chopped (found mine at Wal-Mart & had been dying to figure out a way to use them)
  14. 2 cups dried cherries
  15. 1 bag good quality white chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli’s)
  • Heat oven to 350. Mix the flour, baking powder& baking soda in a bowl and set aside.
  • Combine the butter and sugars in a large bowl and beat on medium speed until well mixed and creamy.
  • Add the eggs and the 3 extracts. Continue beating until it’s all well mixed.
  • Gradually add in the flour mixture on low speed (unless of course you WANT to be flour covered 😛 ). Beat well until mixture is thoroughly combined. If it’s too much for your poor mixers motor, use those arm muscles and mix it by hand.
  • When well mixed, mix in (by hand) the white chocolate chips, pepitas, pecans, apples and dried cherries.
  • Shape into balls (I am no good at saying “make them such and such diameter so just make them the size you generally make, say, a chocolate chip cookie. Lol. I’m sorry.) and place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Because of the apples, this is a fairly sticky dough so yes, you will get goop on your hands 😀
  •  Bake at 350 until top is firm and golden brown, about 12 to 15 minutes. I cooked some a little longer and while I generally prefer chewier verging on underdone cookies, these were actually good crispy too.
  • Let cool for about a minute on the cookie sheet then transfer to a rack to finish cooling.
  • Eat many of these. Feel righteous because it has nuts and seeds and fruit 😛 Go outside and say hello to the night. Smile and feel blessed no matter where you are. 🙂


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Lucccccyyyyyy, I’m Hommmmmeeeeeeee! Cook Me Some Dinner!!

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Oooo, Ricky, can we go to the club tonight!?

No Luccceeeee! You need to be cooking dinner for me!

Ohhhhhhh…. Rickkyyyyyyy! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ummmm…. yeah. That’s my way of saying I’m back! Did ya miss me!?  huh huh huh!? Was there an emptiness in your life the past 2.5 weeks while you waited for my return? Did you mourn and eat lots of Twinkies in my honor?

Well…. moving is done. We are settled with nary a box in sight. Well, one box but it’s my husbands and I’m not touching it… unless it sits there too long. Then I’ll hide it.

I had forgotten how much I hated moving. The only thing it is good for is that you have a clean house for a while. I think from now on we will just move every time the house gets dirty. Easier than cleaning.

Seriously though; moving sucks. By the time I finished culling things in the old house and packing up I was already exhausted. Then once we got everything here, all the unpacking and setting up pretty much fell to me since my husband had to work. Talk about tiring! A three bedroom house…. unpacked in like 3 days. Why you ask? Because I am extremely anal and couldn’t handle the idea of living in box city for longer than necessary. So I practically killed myself getting it done. I am one of those people who HAS to have it feeling like home. I need a magic wand or a potion to create “instant cozy”. If you see one on ebay, keep me in mind.

Then, as life is wont to do, it used it’s massive sense of humor to add Bronchitis to the settling in process. I’m still recovering from that and 99% of the time, tend to sound like Minnie Mouse after she has been sucking on a helium balloon. Kinda funny actually. Except when I try to sing. Then it’s just frightening. I think I have traumatized Joshie and all the cats.

Butttttt… I have FINALLY been able to start cooking again. Between setting up and illness, I didn’t cook a thing for the longest time. So all my grand plans of having a backlog of recipes and posts when I got  internet access back were ruined. But that’s ok. I’ll still be cooking for you. Have a new one for you right now as a matter of fact. 🙂 I wanted a cobble the other day but didn’t have the things I needed to make a good home made one so I improvised. I guess it must have worked since my non sweets liking husband had two servings. Yay me!

This is supremely easy to throw together and a perfect Autumn cobbler. It is rich, decadent and smooth (starting to sound like I cloned George Clooney) with a crunchy biscuit topping that goes over the top by taking a dunk in butter and then a cinnamon sugar mix (omit the cinnamon on if you don’t like it {I see you Ann!} or can’t eat it.). Add in a shot (or so) of Butterscotch Schnapps and this is one tasty cobbler!! So get to cooking! Then get to eating. Then get to telling me how yummy it was!

 Apple, Pear & Butterscotch Cobbler

  1. 1 20 ounce can apple pie filling
  2. 2 15 ounce cans pears in juice, drained (reserve juice from one can)
  3. 2 tablespoons cornstarch
  4. 1/3 cup sugar
  5. 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  6. 1 cup butterscotch chips
  7. 1/3 cup butterscotch schnapps
  8. 1 7.5 ounce ten count can buttermilk biscuits
  9. 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
  10. 1/3 cup sugar
  11. 2 teaspoons cinnamon (or more if desired. Can also be omitted)
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly butter a 13 x 9 baking dish.
  • In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch, 1/3 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Whisk in the reserved juice from the can of pears.
  • In a large bowl, combine the apple pie filling and pears. Mix in the cornstarch mixture.
  • Pour in the butterscotch chips and the schnapps. Combine well then spoon into the buttered baking dish.
  • In a small bowl, combine the last 1/3 cup sugar and the 2 teaspoons cinnamon.
  • Open biscuit can. Dip each biscuit in the melted butter, then in the cinnamon/sugar mix. Lay on top of fruit in baking dish.
  • Bake at 350 until the biscuits are golden brown and the fruit is bubbly and thickened, about 35 to 40 minutes.
  • Serve with ice cream or whipped cream. Say yum many many times.

Whadda Ya Mean You Don’t Like Oatmeal??!!

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Your mother made you oatmeal when you were a kid didn’t she? It was the consistency of school paste and the flavor was probably similar too with the school paste maybe a touch ahead in the running for flavor. She may have thrown a spoonful of white sugar on it, a pat of salty greasy margarine and maybe a bit of milk. So what you ended up with was a pile of gluey oatmeal covered in overly sweet cold milk with a strange salty greasy edge to it. Oh yeah buddy… yum city. Point being though that all of the above is why you have convinced yourself that oatmeal is evil. Right up there with cod liver oil, those chewable vitamins shaped like Fred Flintstone that tasted like you were sucking on a mud covered penny and…well… liver. On an off note (imagine that… off notes from me.) was anyone else freaked out chowing down on Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble? I always felt guilty but never as bad as when I ate Dino. That just seemed so wrong. Poor Dino…. all chewed up. I fully expected to turn on the TV for my afternoon Flintstone fix and find a Public Service Announcement saying “Janet, there is no more Flintstones. Wilma and Betty are now widows weeping into their stone pillows at night and Pebbles and Bam Bam are going to grow up to be fatherless gang members who rob old ladies at stone point and torment Velociraptors for fun. Why you ask? BECAUSE…YOU…ATE….FRED…AND BARNEY…. YOU EVIL….GIRL!!!!!!!!!

I’m weird. I love oatmeal. But the above was pretty much my childhood experience of it just as I know it was for many of you. Our mothers generations (except for those of you who are young enough to be MY kids… I make darned awesome oatmeal 😛 ) made oatmeal as a source of nutrition and warmth not for yum factor. And oatmeal IN things can be pretty awesome too. Like pie. Back in the day when people didn’t sit on their butts all day in front of computers (not that I know anything about that cough cough), food history tells us that pie for breakfast was fairly common. It was filling, a good energy source and warmed you up if eaten hot (because cold things don’t warm you up in case you were wondering that). Oatmeal pie was a good breakfast dish. Buttttt….. being the humans we are, things have to change. Including oatmeal pie. This one here isn’t just an oatmeal custard in a crust. It has dark brown sugar, maple and butterscotch chips, though if you don’t like them, feel free to omit those. I will only cry for a little while. This makes two pies so feel free to cut this in half. This is loosely adapted from a pie I saw on Taste Of Home. Feel free to eat this for breakfast. It has oatmeal after all.

Butterscotch Oatmeal Maple Pie

  • 2 9 inch pie shells (I used the frozen Marie Callander ones; they’re actually pretty good & I was too lazy to make a pie shell)
  • 8 large eggs
  • 1 cup dark brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • Scant 1/2 cup all purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon (optional. You can still try this Ann 😛 )
  • 1 3/4 cups oats
  • 3/4 cup dark corn syrup
  • 3/4 cup light corn syrup
  • 1 cup pure maple syrup
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
  • 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon imitation maple flavoring (I used McCormick Brand)
  • 1 11 ounce bag butterscotch chips
  1. Preheat oven to 350. Line your middle oven shelf with foil just in case of drips.
  2. In a large bowl, combine eggs, flour, sugars and cinnamon.
  3. Stir in the oatmeal, butter, syrups (all 3) and extracts.
  4. Stir in the butterscotch chips
  5. Divide evenly between pie shells
  6. Bake for approximately 60 to 70 minutes for two pies or until it is nicely browned and the center is just barely set. There should be a slight jiggle but no liquidy look. One pie won’t take as long to cook so if you cut the recipe in half, start checking after 40 minutes. If you are unsure of doneness, stick a butter knife in the center. if it comes out almost clean, with a little bit of filling on it, it’s done. If it comes out with drippy liquid on it, it’s …well… not.
  7. Let sit for at least an hour or two before trying to cut this. It is similar to Pecan pie in that if you cut it too soon, you’ll have a oozing mess all over. It needs to finish setting up as it cools. The texture is also similar to pecan pie but w/out the pecans. 😛
  8. Serve this with vanilla ice cream or sitting in a puddle of warmed cream. It’s very rich and quite sweet so cut small pieces. Trust me on this.