Strange Dreams

Just could NOT get a good photo today. It's so gloomy out it's like shooting in a cave. 🙁

It’s funny how having kids makes you so aware of your own mortality. I think I’ve mentioned that I have six kids.  Yes, you read that right. Six. Five boys and one girl. Three are grown and married (in their twenties) and three (all boys) still live at home. They are Jordan, my sixteen year old, Zach, my 14 year old and Joshua my “omg what was I thinking having another child at my age” two year old. :-P. Josh is the one that makes me contemplate my own life more most of the time. His brothers have that effect some, especially Jordan, who I have mentioned before has a handful of major challenges he deals with wonderfully on a daily basis but not as much as my two year old terror. I find myself aware of every kink and every pain. There are times that every twinge becomes a harbinger of doom leaving me planning my estate and telling my husband what songs to play at my funeral (I never knew anyone could roll their eyes quite that much). It will of course be attended by 5000 grieving people. I’m not sure where they will come from since I’m rather shy in “real” life and am pretty sure I haven’t known 5000 people in all my 46 years. Maybe he can hire them? Or pull people off the street with the promise of cheap booze and free Doritos? I dunno. But that’s neither here nor there. They’ll be there. All 5000 of them… in our little house… probably with muddy feet, getting the carpet all dirty. Awww crap… I better plan for a carpet cleaner. Russ will never think of that.

Where was I? Doom… kids… mortality. Oh yeah; mortality. Seriously though,  you think differently when you have kids. Not saying it’s better or worse, just different. I wonder at times how old would my two year old would have to be to have concrete memories of me? Would he remember me reading him Dr. Seuss and being the “SNORT” in “Are You My Mother?” Would he smile when he smelled Lemon Vanilla cologne and not know it was because it reminded him of me? If I died today, would he remember our cuddle sessions in bed every morning after his daddy goes to work? Who would help Jordan and take care of him? Who would make sure Zach took out the garbage and stayed away from the computer when he was supposed to be doing chores? I also wonder what type of woman my husband would replace me with and if I can hunt her down now and let her know what a picky eater he is and how he has a tendency to…erhmmm… empty a room quickly at times. All I know is she’d better be 4’11” and weigh 300 pounds and not be able to cook. Just sayin’.

Introspection is annoying. It makes me write silly posts that have not a whit to do with cooking (though in defense the tag line of my blog DOES say “Cooking and life from a mom on the edge”. :-P.)  It comes into being from strange dreams where I wake up saying to myself “I’m going to die today”. Yeah, I know… freaky. Try being the one who woke up thinking it.

Ehhhhh, let’s eat.


  • CRUST-
  1. 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  2. 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  3. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  4. 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
  • Filling-
  1. 2 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened
  2. 1 1/2 cups sugar
  3. 1 10 jar strawberry preserves
  4. 3 large eggs
  5. 1/4 cup flour
  6. 1 lb  fresh strawberries, sliced
  7. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  8. 1/2 cup sour cream
  9. 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • Topping-
  1. Whipped cream or creme fraiche
  2. strawberry pie filling of strawberry dessert topping
  • Preheat oven to 350
  • line a 13×9 baking pan with foil. Grease with butter or spray with non stick cooking spray
  • In a large bowl, mix butter and powdered sugar for crust. Beat well. Add vanilla and eggs, again beating well. Slowly beat in the two cups flour, beating at medium speed until it is fully mixed and crumbly. Pat into the bottom of the foil lined pan.
  • Bake at 350 for ten minutes while you make the filling.
  • Beat cream cheese and sugar at high speed just until mixed. Beat in the strawberry preserves.  Add three eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add in the vanilla extract, sour cream, heavy cream and flour, beating just until mixed. Overbeating anything cheesecakey (yes, that too is now a word 😀 ) is one thing that makes the cracks in the top. Fold in the sliced strawberries.
  • Spread the filling mixture on top of the crust and put back in the oven. Bake at 350 for approximately 45 minutes or until it is just barely set in the middle. It can look somewhat shiny but shouldn’t be sloshy (don’t ya just love my directions? 😛 ). The residual heat will finish baking it.
  • Let cool for an hour on the counter then cover and refrigerate overnight. Trust me… it will be easier to cut if you do. If you want to serve it room temp, cut and plate it when cold then just let it sit out to come to temp.
  • Top with whipped cream or creme fraiche and strawberry topping.
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4 thoughts on “Strange Dreams

  1. So, I’m one of the worst food photographers out there, but are you aware of White Balance Adjust? A photographer friend showed me–I have a simple point-and-shoot–all you do is go to menu–>white balance–>adjust. Mine has an auto-adjust that will change the white balance based on the light, or you can do it manually and hit the option for what kind of light you’re in (example: natural light vs. fluorescent). It changed my pictures from crappy-lighting-horribleness to decent-despite-crappy-camera-ness.

    Of course as soon as I learned this, my point-and-shoot died for no reason. Oof. Using my laptop camera for now, or my boyfriend’s camera, and putting pennies aside for a good DSLR.

    • Hmmmm; not sure our camera has that but you better believe I’ll be checking to find out. I want a new camera so badly it’s driving me nuts lol. Thanks for the tip Bee 🙂

    • Right hand side under the blogroll area 🙂 All you have to do is click on the Facebook thingie with the photo of the cupcakes and it will take you to the facebook fan page

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