Doin’ The Stroke (Semi Important News)


…Except to you of course… you’re right now wishing I’d croaked so that you could pretend to mourn 😛

I hadn’t planned to say anything at all about this because other than when trying to get a laugh, I prefer not to call attention to myself but a couple of dear bloggie friends convinced me that I could use this for good and not evil :-p. .

So here goes. I had a mild stroke Sunday. Obviously I’m not dead. My left side and my speech were effected (affected?). I can talk but it takes a bit for the words to get from my brain to my mouth so I sound like I’m drunk which makes me laugh to be honest… thus making me seem more drunk and creating a vicious giggly cycle that will probably end with my getting committed soon. :-p

I’m weak, I get tired easily, I have no plans to run a marathon any time soon. Ok, I had no plans to do that anyway but it sure gives me a good excuse now. But I’m alive and have no reason to believe that that will change anytime soon. Of course, I had no plans to have a stroke either, so if I die, I expect you all to mourn me for at least an hour or so… then carry on and eat copious amounts of Cheetos in my memory.

Again… I’m ok. Am I enjoying this? Heck no. Turning over in bed is a bitch and a half because when I want to turn, my left arm and leg laugh at me and say “ain’t happ’nin biatch!” which means I’m not sleeping much, if for no other reason than having my limbs cuss me out tends to cause night terrors.

Doing all those little things one takes for granted, like say, taking a shower, are rather interesting to say the least. I can’t wash my right arm because I can’t lift my left arm to do it so this could get smelly over time :-p And putting on deodorant? Omg… I stood there laughing my butt off. I can’t lift my left arm to do my right and can’t lift my left arm…again… to use it under my left.

All of this is why I want to use this on the blog. All the sites I’ve seen about stroke recovery are as depressing as a life w/out Twinkies would be. So I want to be that place someone recovering can go to and laugh and say “oh God yes, same here!” and others who read my blog can see that nope, not even this is gonna make me stop cracking jokes and making food that makes your arteries cringe in fear.

There. Told everyone… so how ’bout them Yankees?