Sometimes We All Need A Little Comfort

 

Mmmmm; chocolate and...well...chocolate. What more could I want?

 

And that can take different forms. The best comfort in my life is God and my family. A hug from my kids or my husband can cure many an ill; most of them in fact. Making people laugh also comforts me. I have been a ham all my life and if I can get a laugh, even at my own expense, it makes my day.

Sometimes, even though the “experts” tell us it’s wrong, food and drink can be a comfort. A nice warm soothing drink can make a bad day better.

I wanted to make a drink tonight but didn’t know what I wanted so I played Thomas Edison and went into invention mode. This is what I came up with. It’s sweet and creamy with a potency from the brandy and the schnapps and a subtle orange flavor that blends well with both the butterscotch and the chocolate. In other words, just about perfect for a night time drink πŸ˜€

BRANDIED BUTTERSCOTCH CHOCOLATE MILK

The chocolate flavor is mild in this. I didn’t want it to be overpowering. You could always add more chocolate if you want but it will drastically change the balance of flavors.

  1. 1 1/2 cups whole milk (I suppose you could use low fat or skim but my feelings will be hurt πŸ˜› )
  2. 1/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
  3. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  4. 1 teaspoon orange extract
  5. 1 tablespoon sugar
  6. 2 shots brandy (whiskey can be subbed if you don’t have brandy on hand)
  7. 1 shot butterscotch schnapps
  8. 1/4 cup heavy cream, whipped  with 1 teaspoon sugar (or just use the whipped cream in a can)
  • Mix everything together in a large measuring cup or bowl. Microwave on high until hot. Stir well to melt the chocolate.
  • Top with whipped cream. Eat with lots of chocolate on the side. πŸ˜€
  • Makes two servings (maybe)

 

 

Red Velvet Cupcakes

Since I still have no oven *sobs piteously and falls to the floor whining and kicking* I am posting a recipe that I have on food.com. The following is my link there if you’d like to see my page and my recipes:

Janet’s page on food.com

This is for red velvet cupcakes. I normally find the frosting on red velvet cake or cupcakes cloyingly sweet but not on these. These are the favorite of one of my daughters in law. If she and my son come to visit and I haven’t made these, there are violent threats and temper tantrums πŸ˜›

RED VELVET CUPCAKES

  1. 1 (18 ounce) box red velvet cake mix
  2. 1 4 ounce box instant chocolate pudding
  3. 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  4. 4 cups powdered sugar
  5. 1/2 cup (one stick) unsalted butter, softened
  6. 2 teaspoons vanilla extract, divided
  7. 1 cup whipped cream (can use cool whip or homemade whipped cream. I tihnk we all know by now which I choose πŸ˜› )
  • Prepare cake mix as directed on box, adding in the box of chocolate pudding mix and 1 tsp of the vanilla extract.
  • Beat well for at least 2 minutes. Batter will be thick
  • Fill a touch over half full muffin tins that have been well greased or lined with muffin/cupcake liners; don’t fill too high as they rise considerably.
  • Cook according to directions on box of cake. When done, cool on wire rack.
  • While the cupcakes are cooking, make the frosting. Do your best to NOT follow my lead and eat half the frosting before the cupcakes are even cooled. Oh what the heck; go ahead. You can always make more πŸ˜€
  • Using a mixer, beat cream cheese, remaining tsp of vanilla and butter in large bowl until well blended; gradually beat in powdered sugar.
  • Beat in whipped topping (or whipped cream) and continue beating until frosting is thick and creamy looking, giving it enough time for the powdered sugar to break down and dissolve or you will have grainy frosting.
  • If too thick, add a little bit of milk or cream. Add just a bit at time. You can always add more but if you add too much, you end up with glaze not frosting and believe me, you don’t want to ruin this frosting.
  • When cupcakes are cool, spread or pipe the frosting on the cupcakes. Then do as I normally suggest; grab a few and go hide in the closet with a flashlight and a good book. Enjoy. πŸ™‚

The Proof Is In The Pudding…Or Something Like That

 

What the heck does that MEAN anyway? It’s one of those saying that everyone has heard but only Etymologists understand. There are so many weird sayings that have been passed on down through the ages. Where the heck did “A little bird told me” come from? I can’t count how many times someone would tattle on me when I was a kid (and I have no idea why. I was an angel- an ANGEL I tell you!) and my mother would tell me that a little bird told her I had done whatever it was I was about to get in trouble for. I…WANT…THAT…DARN…BIRD! I have a frying pan ready for him. Gossiping little piece of feathers got me in more trouble when I was young.

Other sayings make far too much sense. Like ” A fool and his money are soon parted”. We won’t delve too deeply into that one. But…ummm… take my advice. Stay away from Amazon when you’re tired and bored.

Or “A penny for your thoughts”. Am I the only one who thinks that with the state of the economy, that penny is just not cutting it? Offer me a thousand dollars and we’ll talk.

What about “A word to the wise is sufficient”? So if I come up to someone and say ” Monkey” they will know exactly what to do with that sage advice?

Ok, I’m rambling now. Maybe I should be “A (wo)man of few words” and just get to the food huh?

Well, since I still have no oven cause the landlord hasn’t called back, I made chocolate pudding. Deep dark rich and creamy chocolate pudding. Pudding so good you’ll weep. Pudding so creamy…

I’m rambling again aren’t I? Sigh. Here ya go. Deep dark chocolate pudding with a Strawberry sauce.

Deep Dark Chocolate Pudding With Strawberry Couli

  1. 1 16 oz container frozen strawberries in syrup, thawed
  2. 1 1/2 cups sugar (can be subbed with splenda)
  3. 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted to break up the lumps)
  4. 1/3 cup cornstarch
  5. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  6. 1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder (doesn’t add flavor so much as depth and can be omitted if desired)
  7. 4 cups whole milk
  8. 1 cup heavy cream
  9. 1 cup chocolate chips (can use milk or semi sweet. Milk makes for a milder pudding; semi sweet makes a strong deep chocolate flavor)
  10. 3 teaspoons vanilla extract

Strawberry Couli

  • To make the couli couldn’t be simpler- Dump your container of strawberries, syrup and all, into a blender or the bowl of a food processor. Blend or process until it is a nice puree; maybe 5 seconds. You can either use it as is or slowly whisk 2 tablespoons of cornstarch into it and heat until it is boiling and thickened, then let cool. Either way works.

Chocolate Pudding

  • In a fairly large saucepan or pot, whisk together the cocoa, sugar, salt and cornstarch. Try to break up any little lumps.
  • Slowly whisk in the milk. If you pour it all in at once, you’ll have a time getting all the lumps out. Do it a bit at a time.
  • Over medium heat, stirring constantly (go to a wooden spoon now), heat until the mixture is gently boiling and thickened.
  • Remove from heat and stir in the chocolate chips and vanilla. Let it sit for about 5 minutes then stir to combine the now melted chips with the pudding mixture. Pour into a large bowl and cover with plastic wrap to prevent a skin from forming. Chill for at least 2 hours.
  • When pudding is chilled, whip the one cup of heavy cream. Fold the cream into the pudding mixture until thoroughly combined.
  • Spoon a large spoonful of the strawberry couli onto the bottom of your serving bowls. Add chocolate pudding on top of this and then top with more whipped cream (I used chocolate whipped cream because…well… cause I could.) and more couli. This makes five “Oh my God; you expect me to eat all of that?!” sized servings or 10 normal ones. The recipe can be easily halved.
  • You can make this pudding up to the point of chilling and then eat as is or with the sauce without folding in the heavy cream but be warned; without the addition of the cream, it is a very heavy dense creamy pudding. The addition of the whipped cream in it lightens it up (as contrary as that may sound lol)

Hmm; methinks I need to get new dishwasher detergent if the water spots on that glass are any indication πŸ˜›

 

 

This Is Not Your Grandmas Bread Pudding

 

I have had a love/hate relationship with bread pudding for years now. I used to think I hated it because the ones I had tried were dry nasty overly sweet things with hardened raisins. But something about the idea of bread pudding continued to appeal to me so I kept looking for a good one. When I worked at a hotel many moons ago, the restaurant there had an awesome one. It was the stereotypical raisin filled kind but it was moist and not too sweet and smothered in a creamy caramel sauce. Eating that one over a decade ago sent me on a quest for good bread puddings.

For a while they were the “it” dessert. Not so much anymore. They were pushed out by cupcakes and now by the current trend, Macarons.But I still like creating new flavors every now and then. I had planned on making a white chocolate/cherry bread pudding until I realized that the 2 cans of cherries I was going to use expired in 2009. Erhmmmm… I might wanna check those things more often huh? So I decided on White Chocolate/ Apricot. This is moist, very rich and the Apricots, white chocolate and hint of Cinnamon go together very well. Warning- this is NOT cheap to make but on the up side, it is also easily cut in half if, unlike me, you’re not feeding teenage boys and one grown man (I don’t count my toddler since I am still mean to him about his intake of sweets :-P). You can serve this with or without the caramel sauce; it’s pretty darn tasty either way if I do say so myself πŸ™‚ Also, this gives the words “this is not diet food” a new meaning.

White Chocolate & Apricot Bread Pudding

  1. 1 1/2 1lb loaves Kings Hawaiian bread, bottom crust cut off and discarded (or eaten πŸ˜€ ) and the bread cubed
  2. 3 1/2 cups heavy cream
  3. 1 cup milk
  4. 5 large eggs
  5. 1 lb white chocolate
  6. 1/2 cup sugar
  7. 2 15 oz cans Apricots in heavy syrup, drained (but reserve 1/2 cup of the juice)
  8. 1/2 cup Apricot Preserves
  9. 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  10. 1 teaspoon almond extract
  11. 2 1/4 teaspoons cinnamon

Caramel Sauce

  1. 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  2. 1 cup dark brown sugar
  3. 1 cup heavy cream
  4. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • In a medium bowl, mix your white chocolate and 1/2 cup of the heavy cream. Microwave on high in 30 second increments, stirring after each 30 seconds, until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Set aside.
  • In a large bowl, beat the five eggs. Add the remaining cream and one cup milk; beat until well mixed. Mix in the vanilla & almond extracts,  1/4 cup sugar, reserved syrup from the apricots, the apricots, the preserves, the cinnamon and the white chocolate mixture.
  • Take your cubed bread and add it a handful at a time to the custard mixture, pushing down each handful into the custard before adding the next. When you have it all in there, make sure all the bread is covered and let it sit for an hour or so. This gives the bread time to soak up the custard, which makes a moister pudding.
  • While it soaks, preheat your oven to 325 degrees F
  • When ready, put the pudding mix into a well buttered 3 quart casserole dish (I use a rectangular pyrex; seems to cook it best) and cook until firm and golden brown about 70 minutes. You want to be able to stick a knife in the middle and not come out with liquid on it.

For the caramel sauce (If using)-

  1. Melt your butter in a small saucepan
  2. Add the brown sugar and stir until it’s blended.
  3. Stir in the heavy cream and vanilla and stir until well combined.
  4. Eat straight from the spoon or actually use it on the bread pudding. Your choice. πŸ˜€

I Love Spring & Summer Veggies & Herbs

I’m not a fan of hot weather. Actually, I hate hot weather. I am one of those people who loves the cozy feel of crisp Autumn days. I love sweaters and beef stew; the Autumn and Winter holidays and just the feeling of family togetherness that short days and long nights bring.

But one thing I absolutely adore about warmer weather is the food. I grow my own herbs every year. They are the only plants that don’t look at me, squeal in horror and die. So I grow basil, dill, sage, thyme, lavender and whatever else looks good at the store when I am out buying them. So every Spring and a few gazillion times throughout the Spring and Summer until my family threatens to kill me if I make it one more time, I make Pasta Caprese. The combination of fresh basil, mozzarella, fresh cherry tomatoes (since warmer weather means tomatoes that have more flavor than your pillow) and pasta (preferably a curly fun shaped one just because I’m five years old at heart) just screams Spring to me. It also screams “I am yummy; eat me until your feel like you’re going to explode!” but that may be a personal thing.

This is light yet filling. It’s not exactly low calorie but neither is it horrid for you.  You can cut the fat if you want to by using low fat cheese (or less cheese but I am pretty sure there are laws against that) and not using the small amount of butter used in the garlic tomato mix. This makes eight side dish servings or four entree servings as a vegetarian meal.

CAPRESE PASTA

  1. 1 12 oz box pasta (I used the new Smart Taste by Ronzoni because it has added Calcium, Fiber & Vitamin D)
  2. 1 teaspoon salt
  3. 1 pint cherry (or grape) tomatoes
  4. 1/2 cup chopped fresh Basil (if you absolutely can’t get fresh, use 1/4 cup from the tubes of basil puree you can find in the produce area. Don’t use dried.)
  5. 1/2 cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese
  6. 1 lb mozzarella cheese (I used a mix of fresh mozzarella balls and an 8 oz bag shredded)
  7. 1 tablespoon olive oil
  8. 1 tablespoon butter
  9. 1 tablespoon chopped garlic
  • Cook your pasta in a large pot with the one teaspoon salt. Drain when done but scoop out one cup of the pasta water first and set aside. Put back into pot or serving bowl and cover to keep warm.
  • Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, saute the garlic over medium heat with the olive oil and butter until it is fragrant but not browned, about 2 minutes. Add in the cherry tomatoes and cook over low heat until the tomatoes soften; about three to five minutes. Using a fork or potato masher, mash the tomatoes. Don’t turn them into a puree, just flatten them out.
  • Add the cup of reserved pasta water to the tomatoes and let simmer for just a couple of minutes. Pour the tomatoes and liquid into the pasta. Add in your mozzarella and Parmesan and give it all a quick stir together. Last, stir in your chopped basil. Salt to taste. Pig out. Enjoy the taste of Spring.

 

Knock Knock!

Me: Who’s there?

Child: Banana!

Me: Banana who?

Child: Knock knock!

Me: Who’s there?

Child: Banana!

Me (said with a sob in my voice): Banana who?

Child: Knock knock!

Me: (as I bang my head off of a hard surface)Who’s there for petes sake!?

Child: Orange

Me: Orange who?

Child (giggling with extreme maniacal glee)Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana!?

In 25 years of motherhood, I have heard that knock knock joke approximately 5, 362 times. Add the 10,422 times I have heard Elephant jokes (ok, so I actually like those and routinely annoy people with them myself), fart jokes, pee jokes and jokes that make no sense whatsoever (Mommy, why did the…ummmm…the purple boy run across the street? Me- Why? Child- Because he wanted to eat a cookie! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Did you like that one momma!?) and it is a wonder I have any shred of sanity left.

When my son Jordan, who at sixteen has the childlike heart of an eight year old due to various mental disabilities he deals with, told me that joke for the 5,362nd time today, I laughed and groaned as my job description of mom demands I do, then I went back to thinking about todays post. I knew I wanted to make something sweet; surprise surprise, right? But I wasn’t sure what. Then the orange knock knock joke popped into my head at the same time as a serious chocolate craving hit me upside the head.  So this is what I came up with for today. I hope you enjoy them. We did. πŸ™‚ These are a moist dessert like muffin (not that that will stop me from eating them for breakfast!) bursting with orange flavor and dark chocolate chips.

 

Orange & Dark Chocolate Muffins

  1. 1 1/2 cups sugar
  2. 3/4 cup butter
  3. 1 6 ounce container orange yogurt
  4. 3/4 cup orange marmalade
  5. 2 teaspoons orange extract
  6. 1/2 cup thawed orange juice concentrate
  7. 3 large eggs
  8. 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
  9. 2 teaspoons baking powder
  10. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  11. 1 10 to 12 ounce bag dark chocolate chips (Nestle has some out now)
  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Line 22 muffin cups with paper liners (or grease really well but as we all know, I have a thing for making as little dirty dishes as humanly possible)
  • Beat sugar and butter in a large bowl at medium high speed until light and fluffy. Add in the yogurt, marmalade, orange extract and juice. Beat until thoroughly blended. Beat in eggs, Again, beat until well blended.
  • In a small bowl, mix together your flour, baking powder and salt. Pour it into the bowl of wet ingredients and mix with a large spoon (if you use your beater, you take the chance of 1) wearing a bowl full of flour and 2) over mixing) JUST until everything is combined. Don’t over mix or you’ll end up with tough muffins.
  • Mix in the chocolate chip; again, just until mixed.
  • Bake in the 375 degree oven until golden brown. Mine took 22 minutes.

 

What Do You Mean It’s “Too Rich”?!

My husband Russell is notoriously difficult to make desserts for. He is one of those abnormal ought to be forced to eat liver just because people who will eat three bites of a dessert and then say he is done, saying something is “too rich” or “too sweet”. What the heck does that mean?! There is no such thing. Ok, so maybe I have been known to say something is too sweet but never ever have I uttered such blasphemy as to say something is too rich.

Mind you, this is also a man who can polish off half a bag of tortilla chips and a can of dip and then be back in the cabinet half an hour later saying he is hungry, but that’s a story for another time when I’m not absurdly jealous of his ability to not weigh 300 pounds doing that.

Point of all this is that I wanted to make a dessert that all categories of dessert eaters could enjoy. Something for the weird people who say they don’t really like sweets and something for those of us who are smart enough to know that there is no such thing as too rich. So I came up with this bundt cake. Boring you say? Not this one. This one is rich and oh so moist with the flavor of a warm Mounds bar (well, if you eat it warm. Otherwise, it would be a cold Mounds bar. Just sayin’) with a nice crispy crust and to appease the beast in us sweets lovers, a creamy glaze also filled with a subtle coconut flavor and aroma. It’s also extremely easy.

HOMEMADE MOUNDS BAR CAKE

  1. 1 18 ounce box chocolate cake mix (I used Duncan Hines)
  2. 1 3.4 ounce box instant chocolate pudding mix
  3. 1 15 ounce can cream of coconut (NOT coconut milk. Cream of coconut is usually found in the section where they keep drink mixers)
  4. 1 teaspoon coconut extract
  5. 3 large eggs
  6. 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • For the glaze
  1. 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  2. 1/2 teaspoon coconut extract
  3. heavy cream or milk
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Mix all the cake ingredients together in  a large bowl. Beat on low until blended then turn the beater to medium high and beat for 2 minutes.
  • Pour batter into a well greased and floured Bundt pan (I use the non stick spray  that has both oil and flour in it. You can find it right with the non spray oil under the name of Bakers Joy or Pillsbury Baking Spray With Flour).
  • Cook in a 350 degree oven for between 40 to 60 minutes. If unsure of it’s done, stick a toothpick (I use bamboo grilling skewers. hey, it works! πŸ˜› ) down in it. It should come out almost clean or with barely a crumb on it.
  • Turn out onto a rack or plate and let cool completely.
  • Put your powdered sugar in a small bowl. Add a little bit of milk or cream and the coconut extract. Stir. Add more cream…a little bit at a time… until you have a nice drizzling consistency. Drizzle the glaze over the cooled cake. Serve with some sort of decadent ice cream so that the non sweet eaters can’t finish it all and you have to eat it for them.

If I'm really lucky, my husband will have one bite of ice cream and then hand the rest of the cake and ice cream over to me. πŸ˜€

 

Ok, So Maybe I Don’t Hate Peanut Butter As Much As I Thought

Yes, my backdrop is a roll of paper towels πŸ˜› I was feeling lazy

 

 

I have said for years that I dislike peanut butter; even posted it in here when I made cookies with Reese Pieces in them. I am coming to realize though that it may not be peanut butter I dislike so much as plain old fashioned peanut butter cookies. Now those… I hate. I remember my sister making them when we were kids and I didn’t care for them then and I was a child who would eat anything sweet, including peanut butter and sugar sandwiches *shudders*.  While I am sure my sister is a wonderful cook, I still wouldn’t eat peanut butter cookies now; even if made by her.  There are some things too horrid to be contemplated.

But though it is something I eat rarely, I may actually…kind of…sort of.. a little bit… like peanut butter. Sometimes.

I especially like a certain brand of peanut butter that has some awesome flavors, including cinnamon raisin. Spreading this on toast is like having a peanut butter sandwich on raisin bread. So so good. Also on English muffins and pita bread, on warm rolls so that the peanut butter melts slightly and drips down the side and best of all, just spooned out and eaten straight. Ok, so when it comes to that PB, I’m a junkie. But it’s so darn expensive! Almost 5 bucks for a small container. So I decided to make my own. This is so easy I want to kick myself for not thinking of it before. But if I do that, I may fall and then I wouldn’t be able to reach the peanut butter. So I think I’ll just keep eating instead. Try it… you’ll like it!

CINNAMON RAISIN PEANUT BUTTER

  1. 1 18 ounce jar peanut butter (I used Jif; my favorite)
  2. 3/4 cups raisins
  3. 1 tablespoon hot water
  4. 3 tablespoons sugar
  5. 3 teaspoons cinnamon ( I used McCormick brand)
  • Put your raisins in a small bowl. Sprinkle them with the tablespoon of hot water. Put into the microwave on high for 20 seconds. Stir them around then cover the bowl with a small plate while you mix the peanut butter.
  • Scoop your peanut butter into a bowl. Beat in the cinnamon and sugar. You can use a little more cinnamon but remember that the flavor will strengthen as it sits so be careful.
  • Mix the raisins into the peanut butter mixture.. The brief sit in the covered bowl  helps soften them up a bit.
  • Spoon the peanut butter into a covered container (I used a pint canning jar.) This can be stored at room temp same as any other PB.

Hey; it tastes better off of the Mickey plate! Ask any kid!

 

 

Livin’ La Vida De Limón

 

When my dad was alive, he loved anything Lemon flavored. I swear, I could have given him Lemon flavored liver (yes, I loved him even though he loved liver. We all have our flaws πŸ˜› ) and he would have eaten it, especially if I also covered it in a stick of butter and a pint of ice cream. My dad kinda loved his fats.

On the 23rd of this month, he will have been gone for five years. I still miss him. He was my best friend and my biggest fan when it came to my cooking. He would have loved the idea of this blog. So when I saw a jar of lemon curd in the cabinet that I had forgotten about (yes, I do that often) I thought of him. I will probably make something else in his honor many times but today, for him, it’s this easy lemon pie. If allowed, he would eaten all of it in one night lol. Ok, who am I kidding…. one hour and even if I protested. Did I mention he kinda loved the bad stuff? He was diabetic and one of his favorite things to say was that it was the Diabetes that made him want the sweets even more. Though my memory has the man eating a pound bag of Bridge Mix (I blame him for my bridge mix habit) way before he got Diabetes πŸ˜›

Dad, this ones for you. I Hope everyone else enjoys it too. It’s creamy and rich, sweet and tart; all in one bite.

WORLDS EASIEST LEMON CREAM PIE

  1. 1 graham cracker crust (homemade or store bought; either is fine.)
  2. 3 1/2 cups heavy cream, divided
  3. 1 12 ounce jar lemon curd (usually in either the baking aisle with the pie fillings or the jam section) or 1 1/2 cups homemade lemon curd
  4. 1 can sweetened condensed milk (NOT evaporated)
  5. zest and juice from one lemon
  6. 10 drops yellow food coloring (optional)
  7. 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  8. 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  • In a large bowl, whip 2 cups of the heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Add the sweetened condensed milk, lemon zest and juice, food coloring if using and the lemon curd. Beat mixture until well blended and thickened, about five minutes. The longer you beat, the fluffier the final mixture will be.
  • Spoon into your graham cracker crust; cover and refrigerate.  Chill for at least 3 hours, preferably overnight.
  • About ten minutes before serving, whip the remaining 1 1/2 cups cream with the powdered sugar and vanilla. Spoon or pipe over over the pie, leaving about an inch edge for the lemon filling to peek through.. Garnish with lemon slices, real or fake πŸ˜›

Wish you were here to enjoy this, dad

 


The Epic Soup Fail

Once upon a time, a beautiful, kind, loving, magnificent, day dreaming mother was going to make a wonderful Turkey Noodle Soup for her family. She cooked the stock for hours; it being made from roasted turkey with a lovely brown skin. She added veggies and simmered it until it was just begging for a spoon to be dipped in it. It was grand grand soup. Then, in an attempt to be a better mother, she decided to throw some frozen Spinach in this incredible soup to give it even more nutritional value, all because she wanted her growing children to continue growing so that they could become adults, get wonderful jobs and support her in the style she wasn’t accustomed to into mature happy adulthood. She merrily opened the Spinach, humming all the while and tipped the bag over the pot of gently simmering turkey goodness.  Then, in a fit of suicidal temper, the bag of Spinach fell from her hands straight into the soup pot. All the depressed little green leaves ended their lives in the lovely moms soup pot. She tried and tried to get all of the Spinach out, but it decided to breed before its final death throes and nothing the dear sweet kind mother could do stopped what had been a beautiful soup from becoming a waste land of green goop.

Moral of this story- Forget trying to give your children nutritionally sound meals. Let them eat Cheetos and Twinkies.